Check out this podcast episode to hear Megan’s biggest takeaway from a week in the quantum field with Dr. Joe Dispenz.
And the journey continues as Megan rediscovers who she is. Attending a Dr Joe Dispenza Event she found that the feelings she’d been striving to reach for a lifetime were there all along, and they were right inside her. She tapped into an alternate reality, one that didn’t require any drugs to reach. By just closing her eyes and following the process a new world was opened up for her and her husband Nate.
Ready to learn more?? Let’s do this!
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Megan Blacksmith
Hey there, everybody, Megan here. Welcome back to my solo series on the podcast. If you are jumping in right here, you missed a lot. You’re gonna have to go back. We’re like 11 parts in, I believe. We’re far. So go back, go all the way back to the beginning because it goes in order. It’s a story, it makes sense, it builds on another and you don’t want to miss the good stuff in the beginning. Cool? For those of you who’ve been around for the whole series, thank you. Thank you for listening. Thank you for all your amazing messages, text, all the love all the shares, all the comments, all the reposts I do believe that my gift is storytelling. And this is how people learn from me best. So if you are willing to share with just one friend who would like this series, anybody you can think of, share with people in your community, we really, really, really do appreciate it. Appreciate it and appreciate you. So thank you. I am coming to you from Austin right now if you hear a little difference in my voice. I am at a two week Master Practitioner NLP training. As you probably all know, by now we’re doing our own practitioner training. And so I am getting all the skills, upgrading, updating, up leveling, and I just love I love this stuff. Like I love it to my core. And I know, know, know that it’s what I meant to teach. So I’m going to always be learning and then sharing as we go. So the voice part though, as you uplevel there’s this thing that can happen. And it is a healing crisis. So as soon as I got here in Austin, I had done a really huge breakthrough with my husband a 3-day relationship breakthrough, which maybe I will share about later because it is a accumulation of five years and what this series is all about and how we’re in such an amazing place. Now we did this breakthrough together and felt so good and it really pushed me hard and that we are now a completely new identity. There’s none of these old little stories and strategies and fears to go back on. There’s nothing to hide behind, which is amazing and vulnerable and scary. So my body went into a little healing crisis as soon as I arrived to a nice safe space. A space of training where I’m going to be here for two weeks, you know, I don’t have my children with me, I don’t have the same responsibilities as home. And who has experienced that? As soon as you get away from everything like a student, unfortunately, sometimes it’s as you take that vacation or that weekend and then the symptomology comes? Well, that is what happened for me in the middle of a really big uplevel. So I am accepting it and working right through it and happy that I’m here in a place where I have all the tools to deal with it. Let’s get into today’s topic. Specifically, I am going to share about my experience with plant medicine, magical mushrooms to be specific. And I want to share this with you for a couple of reasons. One, is that I’ve gotten a ton of amazing learnings and nuggets out of my journeys. And if you never touch any of this ever, which is totally cool and I’ll lead into that in part two of reason. I think that you can learn from what I’ve learned, because the learnings were felt in my body level to a point that now when I share it with you, when someone has actually embodied something and they speak it, it’s a different energy. It’s a different frequency, and you will take it in differently. So I believe just even listening to the story. You may have an amazing Aha, that you go, “Oh, I’ve heard this before. But I felt it in a different way when you said it. Megan.” Please reach out to me if you experience that. I’ve experienced this over and over when people tell their story after they’ve really embodied it. So that’s one of the reasons. The second reason is that I actually think it’s important to note that choosing to partake and work with a guide in the plant medicine space is actually a very, very, very, very, how many more verys, serious choice to make. And in a my belief can go very wrong without proper supervision. So there’s been lots of podcasts I’ve listened to have shared their stories about different journeys. And it’s been so exciting and fun and cool and like ooh, I want to do that. And I also believe in sharing the parts that are not so fun and exciting. And also sharing the reality of the kind of supervision and support around this, because this is not something to be messed with. And this is, of course, also, I think it can be romanticized as like a quick fix, you know, an easy way out of like, “Oh, I’ll just work through all my trauma in one night kind of thing.” And that that doesn’t exist as far as I know. And not to mention, it’s not even legal in certain countries. So I had to go far, far away even to do this. So it’ll be on basics of wanting you to know that we’re not suggesting you go out and do this. This is just for educational purposes. Please don’t do anything illegal, please check with where you live, please check with your doctor, all the things, right? And even if it is legal, where you are, depending on when you’re listening to this, because there’s been a lot of change and there’s been a lot of research, and there’s been a lot of happening, right? There’s been a lot of clinical research on different psychedelics. So even if it is, I want to also warn you that I’ve seen people used to do different things, take different things, even in a doctor or a clinical setting and not have the follow up. So do you have proper supervision? And I don’t just mean during it. I actually mean before leading into what are you even wanting from this? What is the intention? During, ff course. And then after? Right? Do you have a plan? Do you have a coach for after I’ve ended up helping and working through with one too many people who have gone to do this somewhere and not had a plan after the fact and really didn’t have what you’d call, they call it integration coaching, right? Because we want to be considering like, is everything safe for you, not just physically, your physical body, your emotional body, your spiritual body. So do your research, know your medical family history? You know, the contraindications, please don’t just go listen to just someone’s random podcast, or this one be like, “This sounds cool.” Honestly, as you listen to my experience, you probably won’t even think it is all that cool. So no, I mean, it’s very cool. And it’s not always fun. So there is work that comes when the real work actually comes when you leave the container. When you go home, and you’re applying, and you’re integrating the area of integration is just what’s most lacking in this area because it can then just turn into like a night of an altered state. And that’s whatever. Sometimes people have huge realizations that way. And it’s really the now how do you take what you’ve learned and embodying it as a person. So that’s why you all know, we offer a 12 week Group Health Transformation accelerator for people who want to come actually embody the new identity they want to be. So that would be a process of taking what you learned in integrating or you’re a practitioner, you also probably know we have a practitioner training coming up, where the tools that our guides used, they used NLP within the psychedelic space, which was so super cool because the the tools in NLP are subconscious tools, they actually get you into that space without taking anything to alter you when you use them together. Also super cool. So resources to look into if you’re kind of like “Why would you ever do this? What does this what is this for?” There’s lots of different things that this is really helping people with the book, how to change your mind by Michael Pollan. And I just saw and started watching. There’s also Netflix series about it now. So if you’re interested and want to just kind of hear the different things people are using this for go check it out and some of the background. Okay. Also, side note, this is just my personal experience, Megan, Dr. Alex does not currently believe in or not, that’s not the correct word. But she is not endorsing this. We will just say from a medical standpoint, or any other. So again, personal experience, and take the nuggets of learning for what they are. And just let us know if you have any takeaways from this. All right. To start, I think this is a really big takeaway about this area, and about Americans in general. So my mentors had just come back from Peru, and told me that her shaman there said that in Peru, people do not use plant medicine to heal. If they come for that purpose that would presuppose that they’re not whole and complete and healthy already. And they are. He said, The problem with Americans is that we think we have a problem that we think we are sick, we think there is a problem when there is no problem. So they enter the ceremony for love, and joy, and connection.
So that’s something really to think about. And that’s what we want in this community for you like we want everyone to enter, to feel a place of love and joy and connection and inspiration. To just expand and grow went to the next version of you versus the idea of fixing what is wrong, right? Like, find what’s wrong with me and fix it. Instead, we’re going to help guide you back with your intuition and uncover just the innate capacity already inside of you and your subconscious and the perfect blueprint of health. So, going into the first guided plant ceremony journey, I have, the reason I chose to do this. So as you’ve been listening to this series, you’ve heard my journey so far from that, you know, original shocking moment of finding out my husband was having an affair and all the things that have changed in my life since that and how amazingly the weaving of learnings how I’ve grown from it, and it’s been like peeling back the onion, each layer. And I felt like there were some things that even I was hiding from myself. I don’t know if anyone can resonate with that it’s like, logically, there’s certain patterns in my life that just still didn’t seem to make sense as to why I kept pulling them into my life because I believe when something’s in our life, it is for a reason and it is a mirror, and there is something inside of us, it’s really needing to see that. So it was seeing how cool it was, you know, to be in an alternate reality with Dr. Joe through strictly breathwork and meditation, I was ready to try in a different way. I was like, let’s do this, let’s just clear out anything left. And luckily for me, my first guided journey in the psychedelic space in a land far far away, was now I can say it was amazing. At the time, maybe not so much. But it was, I had a really safe space, you know, cozy little sheepskin mats and candles and you know, music and feathers. Well not real candles, of course, because those could be dangerous, but the kind you switch on and just a beautiful setting. And I chose through this first journey two, we chose to use mushrooms, magic mushrooms as the psychedelic. And so, interestingly enough, having just been to Dr. Joe not too many months before really set me up for success. Because during that event, we were practicing being nothing during the meditations, you’re expanding your awareness out so far, that you, like the human, the body really became nothing and you felt like you were just the wave and like the vibration and the frequency. And if I ever got to that place during the meditation, I was like, Oh, I got it, right, like you could feel it. And so, I had been practicing that. And I got up after Dr. Joe at 4am every day for months and kept doing those meditations. So like I was in it. And using this allowed me when we did take the mushrooms and then we closed our eyes and we had the eyeshades on we’re listening to beautiful meditation, I was doing my Dr. Joe thing. I was imagining me just like turning into nothing and just becoming vibration. And so when it happened pretty quickly, like all of a sudden, it was just gone, like I dropped into and through the floor, and my body no longer existed and my world just turned into like shapes, colors, vibration. All I could think of like, Oh, Dr. Joe, like, knocked on the door door to another dimension and actually went through it like this is so cool. And I also know that if I had not just been actively practicing that I believe this, this sensation would have been a little bit alarming and or scary, because all of a sudden, like my body was just gone. And it came back. That was just the initial kind of drop in space in as my body came back. And you know, I sat up and we’re having more conversations and just kind of watching the things that came up so that it just becomes a matter of really just seeing what your subconscious wants to bring to the surface and seeing what you’re there to look at and to see and to be with and to deal with. And so then, as we’re hanging out, coming into this journey, you know, my mentor had always told me when I always believed like our thoughts create our reality, right? And they do. And in this space, though, the feedback is so immediate like that you have to believe it. So for example, if you just like think of a three headed dragon, it’s like, bam,there it is. It’s just right in front of you looking back at you. And then if you shift your thoughts, and all of a sudden you’re like riding a unicorn over a rainbow. It’s like, oh, it’s there too. And so I was able to watch like, in real time as my thought gets turned into things instantaneously. And I realized I was seeing a lot of things I didn’t want to see. Yeah, you know, when you’re in the middle of something and it doesn’t always seem that fun, and maybe you’re even questioning like, “Why did I pay for this?” Yeah, well, that’s where I was. Luckily, those amazing guides, so they told you about, they were, they’re totally ahead of the game, they’ve integrated NLP into the process. So anytime I would have a feeling or an emotion pop up, or an experience, we would go ahead, we would get a learning from it, we would use quantum time technique or some of the things we teach and or we would see the image that you’re creating inside your head and see that it’s linked to a feeling you could shrink the image down and throw it far away and float up and get the learnings, right? Like we used all these processes in the moment, which were coming really fast, right? In this state. And there’s getting tons and tons of learnings. And it was so cool to see that the process of learning, whatever it was that was to learn from the thought or the image or the fear popping up, the physical sensation would shift. The feeling was mostly in my gut, it would be like an anxious drop in the gut like, “Oh gosh, I do not enjoy this feeling.” And then I would get the learning from whatever it was in the feeling would be gone, it would be lifted, and I would feel would feel Clear and cool and amazing. And this was just so cool to realize that I had this power, right, I had this power to like, oh, like a physical sensation, you get the learning from the thing from the body, and it’s gone. And yet, at the same time, as I noticed, I was clearing, you know, one thing after another after another, it was like there was another wave and another emotion. And sometimes the same emotion, sometimes a different one and a deeper layer and another layer and there was always more. And it just kept coming and over the hours and hours of feeling, like that feeling just kept coming back in my gut the feeling that I didn’t want and the fears and the thoughts just kept popping up over and over and over. And again, I’m thinking like, “Why should I do this to myself? What am I here to do? Like I chose this.” And they just kept coming back and back and back. And after a while I started to ask questions. I was like really getting super whiny. And I was like saying to my guides, I’m like, “Why? Why do I still feel like this?” It’s probably exactly how I sounded. And my guide looked at me and said, “Alright, Megan, I have let you suffer long enough in this loop.” And now I just she said “I just want to make sure you realize she said You do realize that this is a choice, right?” This is a choice. Like such simple words, irritating when you’re experiencing something you don’t want to write. And I’m like, “If this is a choice,why the hell would I choose this?” Right? Why would I choose this pain over and over and over again? Although if this is a choice, then I could choose something else. I’m like, “This is a choice?” So then I’m starting to think “Okay, if this really is a choice, then I have been choosing to feel miserable. And why would I do that? Why would I choose to feel miserable?” And as I said those words out loud, my guide, she looked at me and she just said, “Well, you know, ask your unconscious mind, why would you do you believe you feel? You deserve to feel good?” Ah, dang.
Like, just keeps coming back to the deserving and the worthiness and the forgiveness of yourself. Right. So like, here we go again. If you listened to my earlier part of the series, I had the same learning in a different setting. Unconsciously Of course, I believe I deserve to feel good. And yet, when asked at like the deep, subconscious level, I realized I didn’t. There were beliefs that I had to grow to suffer. And not only that, but I’d get attention from having problems. And this has been confirmed right? What if we have a belief around something it happens once and then you confirm it over and over and then it becomes a really stronger belief and then you believe it will be true. And then it’s even more true. And you create more of this true. As soon as life hands you something crazy. Everyone’s there to help and that is amazing. I’m glad I have people there to help and also, I want to believe that I get love and attention without problems. I think the most clear place for me to understand this is watching with my own children when they’re sick. So I don’t really know how you get around forming this belief just because as a mom, with a lot of things to do, right? You give your kids I give my kids as much attention as I can. And I care for them. I love them. And I am not going to be 100% attentive all the time, I also have other things I do. And when they’re sick, I noticed how I am willing, and I do drop everything else. And I’m like, “What do you need? Yes, I will make you that. Yes, I will do this. Yes, I will rub your back.” Righ?. And I’m all in and I’m all there. And I believe that is the best and most amazing thing they need when they don’t feel well. So I’m all about it. And I’m like, how do you not tie the link between you are sick, and now you get this extra attention. So I made a conscious effort in my life with my kids to have lots of attention and effort in time, like specific time to put focus on them that is not revolved around sickness, it’s not revolved on anything. It’s just because they are there, and they’re my children and also giving myself the grace to know I will not be able to keep up, I will not do this all the time. I also am going to be doing things for myself, I also am going to have times where I’m like, Yeah, you gotta get it yourself, right? I’m setting boundaries. So it’s just an interesting balance and what we learn early on as a kid, and I know this has been really common for a lot of people who listen to the podcast and who work with us that have health concerns, they don’t realize that there’s some attachment there that if I do have a problem, I will get love. I would get more help from my husband when I was dealing with mold stuff and not consciously, we are not wanting this consciously, but subconsciously, there’s a little bit of a belief there. So this was coming up for me during the journey that I needed to suffer and then I get the attention that I was getting the attention. So as we dug deeper, and I learned that there was a belief that, you know, I didn’t deserve to feel good. This all led to the forgiveness work. Whoo, this was tough. Okay, so in order to believe that I was fully able to observe and feel good, I’d forgive myself for all the things that I was holding against myself. So in that space, and in that journey, my guide asked me to look in the mirror, and forgive myself. And man was that hard. Wow, are we so hard on ourselves, I just burst out crying like, it’s not that mirror work is definitely any word is new for me. It’s not that I’d never done it before. But in this moment, I really saw myself in a different way. And I was open to doing it from the heart. They weren’t just words, I could see and feel deep down. Like I could see the patterns. I could see everything, I could see the protections and I did realize I could totally choose something else. And I did choose something else. So I chose to look at myself in the mirror, forgive myself, for continuing to make a choice that didn’t feel good. I chose to see that I was worthy of feeling good. Just because I didn’t have to earn it, I didn’t have to prove it, that I deserved to feel good, we all do. And in that moment, this whole veil lifted. That pattern of torturing myself, suffering, you know, having my stomach hurt, needing to throw up, having thoughts and memories and negativities come in over and over and over which had been going on for hour after hour after hour. In that moment, it all lifted. And there were just so many lessons that night. And this really was the biggest. The fact that this is a choice. And now, when I’m in a certain place, I have friends and family and my husband, when they see me going down a path of complaining or not taking responsibility, they can lovingly say, “Hey, Megan, you remember, this is a choice, right?” You know what, sometimes I still choose to stay in the space of struggle for a bit. And I say, That’s cool, because I know it’s a choice and I’m not always ready to move on from that spot. And that’s okay too. And maybe you’re not either, maybe you need to feel it more. Maybe that’s just my path today. And then when I decide it’s time to move on, I also know that it’s a choice. So it was quite the journey. Quite the journey of learnings for me and my husband and something that I can just really now feel in my body knowing that everything is a choice and everything is basically mirroring back to me exactly what I need to learn in the moment if I can trust the container which, sometimes I can, sometimes I can’t. Because here I am in a container right now. And all this stuff has been coming up all these emotions, all this stuff and processing in my body face physically is like, Okay, we need to uplevel we need to go to a new identity. And I will need to remove some old neural networks, some old pathways in order to make that happen and in that process of making that happen, you may feel some physical sensations, you may have a little push back on the body. There may be a little detox, or maybe a little healing crisis. I had a fever while I was here and I know it is all integrating into total new identity that I have been working to form over the last five years.
So thank you so much for listening today. I’d love to hear your questions, your feedback, any ideas, anything you’ve learned, if you’ve gone through a journey. I’ve also helped support people after their journeys and for me, I needed to clear any fears I had around, not being comfortable for most of the time and I do feel that sometimes when people don’t have proper support, they kind of stay stuck in a loop and they’re scared. So if this is you, and you’ve done this and you don’t have support, I highly suggest working with someone who does somatic work, who’s moving stuff in the body, who’s doing subconscious reprogramming. So you can really learn from the experience and not have it actually add, you know, in a way that it was adding into a negative experience. All these things work together and help us decide who am I going to be next? Where am I going now? And how am I going to do this? So, thank you so much for being here, and I will see you in the next episode.