In today’s episode, Dr. Alex talks about how to address and positively impact the lens or the filters that our ways of thinking and believing have in seeing the world. Dr. Alex also talks about what she and Megan would call “Mental Gremlins”.
Listen to this episode and find out what mental gremlins are and how to utilize them once you start to look at them through different lenses.
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Dr. Alex Golden 0:00
Hello, Hello, Dr. Alex here with you today, I hope that you’re having a wonderful, wonderful day. This episode is going to be a direct extension and continuation of the previous episode. So if you have not listened to season 16, episode number five, then go back and do that because you’re gonna be lost if you haven’t listened to that one yet. Because we’re essentially picking up at the level of the new problem that we realize where it’s created once we went through that process, right? So today, we’re going to be talking about how to address and begin to positively impact the lens or the filters, that our ways of thinking and believing has a seeing the world through. And one of the ways that we know about those discrepancies and beliefs and thoughts. And by discrepancy, I mean, it doesn’t align with what your goals are right now. Right? There’s a discrepancy between what you want and what you’re actually experiencing. Those thoughts that come up, and the experiences that we have there are what Megan and I, I guess I started this, but I think we both do it at this point referred to as mental Gremlins, right? Mental Gremlins, the definition of them is something that you think, a belief or a thought. And of course, the belief is just the thought that you thought a lot, then it’s one of those that is not actually accurate for all of who you are. So mental Gremlins are liars, essentially, mental Gremlins are inaccuracies of thinking that when looked, when you look at yourself through one very specific small keyhole, that mental Gremlin checks out. Anytime you look at it, the reason you know it’s a mental Gremlin and not some sort of truth or some sort of goal or some sort of feedback or a piece of information that you’re actually going to utilize is that once you start to look at it through different lenses, not only is it not true does it work out, but it actually doesn’t serve you. So what would be an example of that a mental Gremlin would be I never do anything, right? When you’re talking about that from a health perspective, but at work or with your job or with how you dress or how good of a cook you are, or how good you are being there for your friends. That wouldn’t hold true for there’s just a mental Gremlin that’s being applied for the health side of things. But it’s not rooted in the reality of who you actually are, because it’s at odds with it. So I hope that makes sense for the definition of the mental Gremlin. And today in this podcast episode, we’re gonna talk about how we argue back with them, right? How do we use the mirrors that we talked about yesterday, to then elicit more clarity about what we believe and what we think? And then really begin to consider and have an approach to or saying, is this true for me? And do I want to keep thinking, is this a mental Gremlin that I want to keep getting wet? Or is this you know, is it time to pop it out, dry it off and, and not going to wait again? Right? So we’re going to talk about that. So before we dig in, though, as usual, listed a little shout out to full script because this episode is supported by our friends at full script and full script is an online formulary that allows practitioners like us to compile and curate supplements at a discounted rate. So we have our full collections over at zesty ginger.com/full script. And you can see when you log into there that you will see categories of what we have used for ourselves, our families or loved ones, our friends, our clients that we work with. You can see what all is in the different categories and see how it applies to you. We super love it because when it comes to paying for quality supplements, we just went places like full script exist, we won’t ever pay full price again, right? There’s no reason to do that when places like full script exists. So if you’re still still paying full price for supplements and stuff, you don’t have to anymore, right you get 15% off automatically so go go check that out and if you are interested in something being on there, reach out to us because we will consider it obviously if we don’t recommend it. We will not do it but but let us know if there’s something that you that you would like to see on. Alright, so we’re gonna pick back up at the mental Gremlins, right? So when we were talking about fragmentation, blind Yes, blindness yesterday, we were talking about, essentially, intentionally, an n a purposeful manner gathering information about ourselves so that we can use self awareness to elevate our perspective of what’s going on internally, right, because we talked about without that information is hard to then decide and know what to do about it. So then, we talked about how that comes up. Now, the next problem we identified, though, is that a mirror is only as good as your ability to see in it and use it right. And everyone, we have a lot of filters in place. That can certainly be a modifier of it. Now, that’s not to say that the mayor is actually inaccurate, right? The person that is triggering you is still triggering you. But oftentimes, we also have a greater framework of how that person is doing the thing that we already believe about ourselves, or that we are doing to ourselves, right. So if we hope to change the mirror, then we have to change, we have to pick up different tuning forks and put the tuning forks, we no longer wish to sit down, right. So there was a time where Megan and I in business would be like, Oh, my gosh, you know, we are getting on the phone with people, people are saying our stuff is really helpful, but they’re not sure that they want to do it because nothing usually works for them. And then we looked at our behavior. And we’re like, actually, there are times where we don’t sign up for things because we think that, you know, maybe it won’t work for us. And so we’re like, actually, why would we create this, we don’t like this mayor, and we’re not going to keep doing it. Things can work, right? There’s so many resources and options. It’s a matter of us being devoted and dedicated to finding them and just blowing out those mental Gremlins that say otherwise. Right? So at some point, then you change the projection, and we don’t hear that anymore. And when we do, it’s a very different story. There’s other things being presented, there’s other mirrors being presented to us, but it is no longer the same. So if you’re sitting there as a client, or as a coach, and you’re like, Well, why won’t my clients work with me? Why won’t the clients pay in full? Why won’t the clients you know, make the decision, they’re dragging their feet, the mayor is there for you. And, and if you have the courage to change it, change your state change that filter, change the reflection, that projection coming back at you becomes a lot more fun, and it changes over time. And that’s the feedback on how you know it’s going. Okay, so when it comes to mental Gremlins, the reason that I explained what they were is because inherent and the definition is kind of what to do about them. Right. Our job with mental Gremlins is to see that if they are inaccuracies discovered when we change the perspective and we the discrepancy that we discover in there is not serving us, then that was the definition. And that also guides us to what we need to do about it. Right. How do we begin to actually see the fallacies that the mental Gremlins are? are being presented to us, right? If I am having a day where I feel not so great about my body and then I go bathing suit shopping, and the mental Gremlins just get louder, right? I, I potentially have done something to get them wet. Now that’s okay. Sometimes we need to do that. But then you’re acknowledging, hey, right now today, this is what it sounds like. But you know, yesterday, I felt fine. And yesterday had I done this, I wouldn’t have been upset going bathing suit chopping, right. And so at that point, we really start to notice that if they are not an omnipresent thing, then our job is to poke holes into their arguments when they arise, looking for the opportunity to do so. Because if you try to poke holes and you can’t, and you’re coming up with the same thing every single time, like that person is just hurting your feelings, right? That event is triggering you
this is not working for you. Well, then it’s not a mental Grella and it’s time to go talk to the person so some boundaries or change what you’re doing or changed the dynamic or whatever it is. You will then get to go do all of that stuff from a place of clarity having wrestled with your own mental gremlins. So mental Gremlins, we’re talking about poking holes in the story. When things don’t make sense. So what does that really look like? One of the things that Megan has talked about a lot on the podcast is the four questions from Byron Katie. And we even interviewed her Megan interviewed her on the podcast. So check that out if you haven’t listened to already. But the four questions. The first two are a is this thought true? Right. And the second one is, Can you absolutely know that it is true for certainty, right? Because those two questions are incredibly powerful, right? If I say, I’m a piece of crap to myself, while I’m looking to myself, the mayor, I say, Is it true? My mental Groundlings could be a little louder at the moment? And I say yes, like, is absolutely true. And I could I know for absolute certainty that it’s true. Well, then I’m a little you know, most people have to be grudgingly admit, okay, well, maybe not everybody would think I’m a piece of crap. And maybe on a given day, I don’t even think on a piece of crap. So I suppose when I’m not having this strong charge activation of my emotional body, then I can acknowledge that it is not true. Right. So those two right there, if all you get from this episode is asking your mental Gremlins, when you have a thought that doesn’t feel good, and you ask yourself if it’s true, and then you verify, could I know with absolute certainty that it is true? And any of those are known? That then that’s your answer is so powerful to begin to poke holes in it right? So then, if this is not true, what other scenarios can I think of what other interpretations can I create? Where this is also not true? Right? How can I create that now, I would shoot for between three and five scenarios, on whatever it is if you’re upset because your friend didn’t text you or didn’t call when he said he was going to call? Right? Like, Well, he did it because he doesn’t care about me. So now I know you’re upset. Right? And so that, is it true, that he didn’t call? Because you said about me? You say yes, sure, is can you know with absolute certainty, that is not true? No, I guess I can’t, what are there things could be going on? Well, he could be trapped under a rock, he could have gotten his mouth shut, he could be missing thumbs, you know, and then you start firing off these questions then. And the invitation for I’m going to look for other options are all ways that you will take the legs out, you’ll dry off the mental Gremlins that way, because once you start poking holes in them, the emotional charge that you feel is then modified. Because if you think, Well, my friend could be struggling today a lot and has a whole bunch on this play. Maybe something’s wrong with one of his family members, and he’s dealing with some health issues with them. That begins to feel very different than this person’s a jerk. And they don’t care about me which of course, if you think that thought that mental Gremlin, the conclusion you draw from it is not good. And if you did draw a conclusion, it’d be a little weird, right? It would if that person doesn’t like me, unless it’s something like, oh, I don’t really care, you know, not looking for external validation, that’s fine. But really, like, if you care about someone, and then you realize that something’s happening in that relationship, it would be highly unusual for you to just like not care, right? You could get to not caring, but more than likely you do. And that is already present. And it’s there. So because it is actually acknowledging something, it’s very, very useful then. Right? So once we begin to create other interpretations, then the next step, the next step after creating these options is to say, the next question is, how does that allow me to feel them? Thinking these other options? And then taking note of that, right? How does that so what is the shift? I go from feeling triggered and hurt to maybe I’m concerned about my friend, right? What is the note there? And then the last part of this is, if that were to be true, what is you know, I’m acknowledging how I feel, what is it that I need to support myself right now, that could look like a good cry. That could look like doing a parasympathetic exercise that could be calling a friend that could be talking to the actual friend because you realize, hey, I’m actually worried about them legitimately and I’m going to reach out to them and now you know, you To transform triggering into care and love and friendship. Yeah. So all of these things, then get us on the path and and we always anchor it into action. Because once we begin to reconsider these things and begin to reclaim our sovereignty and our emotional body, right, this instead of someone else, quote, making you feel something you are reclaiming your emotional experience, as you go through those questions that I just outlined, that’s what happens, you think differently, you feel differently, that is a natural extension of how the mental and emotional body work together. So as that you begin to create actual authority in your body to say no one else can make me feel any type of way. And even if they do, I have a strategy and a method for once again, standing on my power and saying, Who do I want to be instead? Right? It’s very different to be like, well, that friend didn’t text me. So I’m not gonna text them. And you get into the mutual pettiness. And guess what the next thing you know, you’re not friends anymore, is a completely different thing to be like, Oh, wow, this is how I feel. But I see my friend, you know, fill in the blank. And this is who I’m proud to be in this, whether you set a boundary, whether you have a conversation, whether you approach them with compassion, maybe you go help them. I’m not making a case for what you do afterwards. But my point is, you get to decide that from a different place. And because, again, what is the whole point of this, you want to change the mayor, you show up differently in the mayor, the mayor is just mirroring it back to you, right. So as you began to focus in on your authority, your autonomy, your capability to feel the way you want to feel about yourself, because you’re being the person you want to be. That is how we change the mirror. That is how we get clear on some of these lenses and filters that we have in place. So very, very exciting stuff. This is all really powerful work. Like I said, I mean that this is true for all of it, right? But the power of transformation is unparalleled. But we are either equipped to handle it, and move through it intentionally or we’re going to kind of Bumble along these things took us a really long time. So I’m so happy to be able to sit here now and to begin to walk you through it because it really shouldn’t take anybody else as long as it took us to get here, right? And we say that in lots of different ways, but we truly truly believe it. Okay, so that is that for the podcast episode, let’s chat about retreats. Because I am I’ve been continuing to open up slots to discuss retreats. This process that we’re talking about uninstalling beliefs there. When we certify leaders and practitioners coaches, there are other avenues where you can intentionally go in and unprogrammed on wire certain beliefs and thoughts and install new ones. Okay. And there are many different avenues to do that through but it is all under the category of subconscious reprogramming, right, there’s consciously you can think of some things, but if your beliefs underneath the surface are always bump against bumping against what you’re trying to accomplish. It’s frustrating and hard. And so subconscious reprogramming and tools are that so whether it’s you or you’re a coach, provider, practitioner, teacher, leader of any kind, our seven day Practitioner program is going to be a really good fit for you because essentially navigating the subconscious mental Gremlins and rewiring them you can move much much faster and if you’re working with people, you can get them results incredibly fast. So when you use the combination of all the stuff that I’m talking about here and what you can do with someone, one on one in groups, well then it gets really really fun. Obviously you can see Megan Knight living that so you know, hopefully we’re doing a good job showing him so what we have coming up if you would like to chat with me on the phone about any of it we have a retreat is a one and a half day in January. That one’s in intro one and it will get you started. And then the level one is at the end of April and into May seventh day. And then there is a personal breakthrough in June.
If you are not a coach or practitioner teacher or leader of some kind and you are working on your stuff, your health, your business, you know whatever it is that you got going on, then the personnel retreat may be a better fit but don’t worry about any of that you just come hop on the phone with me we’ll talk about all the different details on what’s going on and and help you make the decision. going on which one would be a better fit all righty Have a wonderful day and I will catch you all next time