In today’s solo episode with Dr. Alex Golden, she talks about a topic and a mindset which recently got mirrored back to her. In this episode, she shares a story about a recent experience she had which she thought should be fixed right away. She also highlights in this episode about the importance of honesty and authenticity, which will bring all the fragmented parts of you into wholeness.

Listen to this episode as Dr. Alex helps us get the mentality of being in charge of our own emotions and how to not trample ourselves in the process.

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Dr. Alex Golden

Hi there, everybody, hope you’re having a great day. This is Alex here with you. I’m popping in for a short podcast episode here to talk about a topic and a mindset that I recently kind of got mirrored back to me and I wanted to talk about it. So I had something happened recently, where there was some technological glitches going on. Alright, so really, the thing that actually happened wasn’t a huge deal in terms of like practicality, right? It was just an issue, and it needed to be fixed. But it was on the topic of something that’s near and dear to my heart, right. And the thing that happens, as we all know, is that the importance of something, then changes the mental Gremlin discussion around it, right. And by mental Gremlins, I’m just generally talking about things like worry, fear, self sabotaging old coping mechanism, kind of things kicking up when we are trying to deal with something I most often this is something that’s new for us. And we are still in the process of becoming the identity, the type of human being that has that thing that does that thing that makes that impact. And because that challenges us to step into unknown and step into the new, then it tends to kick up a lot of thoughts, right? This can be from the past of this didn’t work before, or it can be projections in the future, who am I to do this? You know, maybe this going wrong is a sign that this is not for me, right? And there’s all these determinations that we begin to make. These are interpretations and stories. And we have to be very conscientious about what kind of story that we are telling ourselves, and what kind of interpretation our brain is reflexively making. Because if we don’t put ourselves in charge of this process, then life will take us for a ride every single time. And so what happened was that this tech glitch happened, right, and, and so then I got upset. Yeah, and I just kind of kicked into high gear in terms of trying to fix the problem. And also, I was acknowledging and being authentic about the feelings that were coming up, I was frustrated, I was also a little bitter, I was a little bit guilty. And all these different parts of me, were essentially all speaking and acting up and having an issue at once, even though my brain was trying to be resourceful and focus on the actual problem at hand. And that’s why if you listen to the habit challenge, the five days, and then the sixth part, the nitty gritty of transformation, you hear the process of how important it is to have support tools, processes and strategies for all of this. Because all of those mental Gremlins will always get in the way of the perspective. And I couldn’t quite get to the solution of the problem I was having, because I couldn’t get the distance, you know, the height, the perspective away from the problem enough to see that and to truly find that. And I thought, Gosh, how often does that happen? Right? And so then I had a very kind friend reached out to me, who knew I was kind of going through a moment there. And they were just offering emotional mental support, right? No, no solutions, no, nothing just just being there for me, which was super nice and really a big deal. And as I was talking, there was I noticed a couple patterns within myself. And one of the things that I said was I, I described the whole problem. And then I said, but it’s okay.

And my friends said to me, you know, I know that you have a pattern of downplaying certain things. This is a good friend of mine. And so I’m just going to ask you, Is it really okay? And I kind of stopped for a second and I said, you know, that’s true. That is true. It’s actually this situation is not okay. In terms of what’s happening right now. My take on it, my interpretation of the events, and what it could turn into in the future, which granted is a projection right is Like I’m basing it off what has happened in the past, and therefore I think I know what’s going to happen. But I don’t actually know what’s going to happen. But you know, I said, You’re right. From my emotional standpoint, and the part of me that’s struggling with this, it’s important for me to acknowledge that this is not okay. And it did feel really good to have that be pointed out to me. And to allow that part of me that thought it was not okay, to really have her time in the sun, so to speak, it was just her time to really acknowledge, and it went, how it was true, it would not have felt good to skip that step. And be like, but it’s okay. Because I’m about to go into the other part of me, right. So here’s me watching me be upset. But really, I’m also the decision maker of what happens next and creating the solution and the next problem, right? And so both parts are watching each other happen. And both parts need the validation. And so my friend saying that was really helpful to the part of me that knew, Hey, I recognize this as a problem for me, right? And actually being authentic about that allowed me to sort of take a step back. And I realized, like, okay, yes, I think that this is a problem. And then here’s the thing that happened. That is the magic. And this is where that’s why we talk about honesty and authenticity, which does require courage, being the thing that brings all the fragmented parts of you into wholeness, because once I gave myself that acknowledgement, the perspective all of a sudden shifted, I could see it from a different point of view. And then this is what I said to my friend, I said, you know, what I really mean by that, is that I recognize that it’s not okay, so thank you for pointing that out to me. And you are absolutely right that I need to acknowledge it. But then to continue that thought is really that my belief from the part of me that is thinking resourcefully and critically and into possibilities in the future, and and becoming the person I want and therefore getting the results that that person has in their life and the experiences that they have and how they live, what happens to them, then, even though it’s not okay, right now, my thought process on this is that it will be okay. Because I will make sure that it is okay. And from that since then my emotions shifted within that conversation, right? To step into the power of okay, okay, this it’s true that it’s happening. But what I really think is that this way of thinking is that I can change it, and it is up to me to make it okay. And that is exactly what I’m going to do. The feeling that I had from that thought, all of a sudden continue to spiral in that positive direction and give me perspective. So it’s kind of like taking an elevator internally, where all of a sudden, then from that thought, it’ll be okay, because I’ll make sure it’s okay. Then I started thinking a little bit more outside the box, all of a sudden, I started feeling Huh, what if I do this? What if I try this? What if this idea could work. And afterwards, after I got on the phone, I had several hours of super constructive and productive thinking and planning and outlining and reasoning. And all of a sudden, that problem I was having really drastically then transformed.

And so there’s a couple of layers to this story, right? The whole mentality of getting to the place of I’m no longer willing to be at the effect of life and just have a meltdown when things go wrong. It’s like no, I’m just going to make it okay, because I’m in charge here. And that’s how I’m going to handle this. That is one and that’s really empowering. But the story and getting there is that we don’t trample ourselves in the process. How I got there was not Hey, Alex, get your shit together and like pull it together and think constructively and let’s do this. It wasn’t like that at all. I didn’t none of that. And quite honestly, when I have I know what happens. The little girl inside of me is like I’m trying my best. And what does she want to do? Throw in the towel, right so then And I’m finding myself in trying to throw in the towel instead of actually elevating my perspective, and making decisions from my adult self that truly understands what I’m doing, who I am being to accomplish that. And what that process looks like, how can I support myself and give myself resources through it? I would love to hear from you, when you apply this, or if you have your version of this, I super want to hear about it too. So shoot us a DM or email us just come chat in general, because this is such an important topic. And such an important process. Whatever empowering idea, you get to whether it’s, I’ll be okay. Because I’ll make it okay. Or, you know, I’m still a work in progress. And I’m good with that. Right, whatever empowering idea you get to how are you getting to it? That’s the million dollar question. Alright, so we also released our part five of our habit challenge, because we realized that there was a little bit of a tech glitch there, too. That’s not the one I’m talking about. But we had, we had a little bit of issue there, we have rereleased that. And so if you want to go back and catch up on some of the stories that you didn’t get to hear, we did close the loop on Megan’s Honduras trip we did teaching. So check those things out. And then make sure you catch up on part six, which is called the nitty gritty of transformation is another key episode to really zoom out into everything that we talk about what’s the underlying process, there’s a way to do it step by step, there’s lots of transformation and this kind of growth, that we leave way up to just life moving us along. But really, when we change our thinking into I got this and I’m gonna set the tone, we become much more effective, and we get our goals at a much faster rate. So check that out. Health Transformation accelerator program is open for enrollment, we would love to see you there, we open it twice a year. And that is where it’s 12 weeks, taking you through the seven step transformational process. There are many things in there that will give you the resources and the support tools to make your journey so much more empowered. This is not a program where we tell you what to do. There’s no meal plans that right, there’s things and, and so with that we really have there’s really a step by step breakdown of how do we do this? How do we really make sure that we are supporting ourselves the whole time. And it’s not, it’s not magic. So check that out zestyginger.com/transform We would love to see you in this group. And check that out, read the end, listen to those transformational stories. They are so much fun. And we’ll see you in there. The cart closes on this week on Friday. And then we start shortly thereafter. Lots of human design, lots of processes, lots of things that essentially if you’ve been feeling like, I am just floating in the wind on a hamster wheel, we got you it’s time to get off that so it’s time to take the leap. Come on over. We’ve done it lots of times. And we we can we got you, right. We got you. It’s all good. And if you’ve been struggling, cool, new new part of life, right? That’s the decision. New partner life or not. Alright, we love you. We’ll see you soon and we’ll talk to you soon.