On day three of the effortless brain based habit change series, Dr. Alex and Megan talks about how one of the big parts in trusting ourselves is looking at the different beliefs we have in our ourselves, in our capabilities and our confidence in how the world works and who does what and who’s required to do it, and who should do what all the things that we’ve gathered over a lifetime of how things should be.

Listen as Dr. Alex and Megan help us realize that we don’t need negativity to become the motivator of our transformation and how we can experience transformation even when things around us are good.

Are you ready to experience compassionate transformation? One person is going to win $500for fully participating in the Habit Challenge so make sure you’ve signed up and joined the effortless brain based habit challenge at https://www.zestyginger.com/habit/

Ready to learn more?? Let’s do this!

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Megan Blacksmith  01:03 

Hey, everybody. Welcome back to the zesty ginger podcast and you’ve made it to day three. 

Dr. Alex Golden  01:10 

There are Oh, wow. Well, thanks for being here. 

Megan Blacksmith  01:15 

We’re so happy to have you here. We’ve gotten a lot of great feedback. So far, we love seeing those of you who are implementing and hearing and doing and sharing and you’ve invited your friends, we really, really appreciate any and all of you invited your friends, we have a goal of helping 1000 women with their habits during this challenge. And we are very close to that. So if you have anybody in mind, who wants to go back and start with day one, it is not too late, lots of time. So thank you for being here. And a reminder that Sunday is the last day to fill in and turn in the workbook. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, because you jumped in here, you’re gonna want to start back at day one of the challenge of this series, this experience this subconscious reprogram experience that you’re in, that’s happening right now. And fill out that workbook someone will be winning $500 Super fun. And I interviewed Diane who won our challenge last time and it is so cool. The ripple effect of what that money did in her life. I will not spoil it. It’s coming out. It’s very, very cool. And 

Dr. Alex Golden  02:23 

very, very cool. Especially because we’ll spoil it a little bit. Diane, someone who wasn’t even taking breaks Saturday to like, feed herself or, or anything and the transformation. There was just mind blowing. Yeah, it’s been awesome. It’s so fun. Yes. And I have been saying I was like this probably about the easiest $500 to make right, man, because we’re like, it’s literally called the effortless brain based habit challenge. 

Megan Blacksmith  02:53 

And that’s right, it really is programming that money flows to us. And it’s easy to get. How about those 

Dr. Alex Golden  02:59 

Exactly. And it certainly is from us. Yes. Listen, 

Megan Blacksmith  03:05 

listen, listen, let them rule in your one takeaway. And you’ll see the workbook super simple. It’s just a way of us reminding your brain that you’re showing up for you. You’re creating new habits every day that you listen to this, you are creating new habits, you might not even know that and that’s the coolest part is this is just, yeah, it’s just happening in the background. It’s effortless. And there’s a point to all of it. And you don’t need to know the point for it to still work. 

Dr. Alex Golden  03:32 

Well. Absolutely. Okay. So our goal, 

Megan Blacksmith  03:35 

in general is we are really hoping to change the health norms, that to impact generations to come when you know, this process. We’re taking you through a process whether you know it or not, when you know it and you understand it, and you will you stop second guessing and looking for all the experts to tell you what’s going on, and you will start trusting yourself. You will hear us harp on this over and over and over again. And one of the big parts of trusting ourselves is looking at the different beliefs we have in our ourselves in our capabilities and our confidence in how the world works, and who does what and who’s required to do it, and who should do what all the things that we’ve gathered over a lifetime of how things should be. And I want to share a little example of something that happened last night with a neighbor. And if you’re on social media, and you saw recently in my story, I accidentally texted a neighbor who I don’t know that well. My daughter has been hanging out with her son just just for the last month or so. And I thought I was texting my husband and accidentally tests texted this new neighbor and said, Hey, would you be willing to make dinner? And the funny thing is, she responded right away, like well, we’re having lamb chops and rice tonight. Would your daughter eat that and I was just laughing so hard and the next one was like, or she could bring her dinner over. We’re eating it six. It was the kindest, sweetest response. And I was just like, oh my gosh, she thought I was asking her to make dinner and didn’t add an eye. It was so funny, Alex, 

Dr. Alex Golden  05:14 

Wow, holy cow can I have? Can I have that neighbor? 

Megan Blacksmith  05:19 

I know. So I wrote back, oh my gosh, this text was not meant for you. It was meant for my husband. And thank you for being so willing. I’m glad to know you will make her dinner anytime. So it’s been really cool. 

Dr. Alex Golden  05:32 

Oh my gosh, that is so cute. So 

Megan Blacksmith  05:35 

my, in response to this, I actually invited her son to have dinner with us last night. I thought that would be a good thing to do. And the kids were playing together. So well. He’s such a sweet kid. And Paige and he they just play so well. And so I said, Would that be okay? If he comes for dinner? We were just having, you know, chicken, potatoes and broccoli. He loves. He says he loves all three of them. So it was an easy sell. And she said yes, he can come she said the only thing is and she said this in front of her son and my daughter. She said the only thing is he’s a really slow eater. And I looked at paigey My little one and I’m like, well, perfect. Pages are really slow eater do it’s just a running thing in our house, she takes, you know, an hour or more, she just takes a long time to eat her meal. And in our house, I have programmed I’m gonna say program, but I have really enforced with paigey that, that this is great because her older sister will be like, I beat you paid, right? There’s always a constant race with kids. Have I beat you. And every time I hear this, I say well actually, when it comes to eating whoever finishes last is the winner. That’s been the thing we’ve I’ve installed of like, hey, it’s great to take your time and to digest your foods slowly and all that. And so here we are, you know, this other mom is and I could tell from the look on her face that she did not think that this was a good trait of her son. She’s like, it takes forever and I could hear the annoyance and see it. And she said that out loud in that way. And of course, immediately my little paigey pipes in and she goes, Oh, she goes no, it’s actually really good for you to eat slowly. And isn’t that funny? Alex? 

Dr. Alex Golden  07:22 

It’s Oh, yeah, they’re like, they know, when it feels good, right? These kids, their emotional encompasses, they still actually use them the way that they were intended. Yeah. Right. She, they’re like, No, really, this feels nourishing to me. And Paige eats a lot, you know, like in terms of when she does it, she eats very well. And I have never once seen you coerce her or beg her or yell at her to finish her plate. She just eats it. 

Megan Blacksmith  07:59 

Yeah, she just takes her time. And so and the two of them sat there, and they slowly their meal together, it was perfect. And so funny. And the thing that got me and just made me realize that we form these beliefs early on these subconscious beliefs, meaning below the conscious level, it’s not something we’re thinking about. It’s just something that has been formed over time, a lot of them are formed from zero to seven, and these two are six years old. And so one one household, literally across the street from the other, where they’re from what their belief in or is around food, what their time, you know, the time they have to sit there. In general, we kind of have all the time in the world for her to sit and eat dinner. So it hasn’t become it really is just not a problem. And so two different kids right across the street in the same you know, in the same town can have the exact opposite programming of eating, taking a long time to eat is good for you, taking a long time to eat is bad. Like he I could hear there’s a little of like, you know, this is a pain. This is a problem. This is annoying you need you need to work on it. So that is where these beliefs come in super early on. And we won’t know or remember this necessarily. You’re not going to remember like that conversation that you Mom had with the neighbor. They’re just in there and we’re running on them. They’re automatic. So as we pull these up, and a lot of them will surprise you because you’ll say oh no, I would never think that I would never feel that about my health. I’ve totally feel worthy of health. You’ll say that consciously. And deep down. You have been programmed and I don’t mean in a bad way. This is just how life happens. Our parents are all doing the best they can and I am doing the best I can with my kids. It’s just happening. 

Dr. Alex Golden  09:53 

Yeah, and these interpretations are exactly how the brain is wiring, because the brain is a meaning making machine. And then it really wants to be efficient because efficiency translates to survival. If you can recognize a problem or a threat earlier, you can remove yourself from it. So it makes sense that the very system that keeps us turning away, would be quite quick to learn, and put these associations in place. And Megan’s absolutely right in that depending on what has happened to you the very same comments, the very same event can happen to two different people. And they will make associations differently. For example, I was talking to someone recently that got bit by a dog as a kid, I also got bit by a dog. But our interpretation, I grew up as someone who wasn’t afraid of dogs, because my interpretation was that was a an accident, and it was a singular thing. And their interpretation was, dogs are scary, and I need to protect myself from them. Same level of dog bite, same outcome, very, very different wiring for the brain. And that is why we have to be authentic in our journey for compassionate transformation. Because unless we are honest about what we really think and feel, and what we have made things mean, when we try to follow somebody else’s steps too closely, without doing this introspection from a place of self awareness, we cannot get there. Because that is not how things are hardwired within us. 

Megan Blacksmith  11:45 

Yes, and there’s a step there steps like Dr. Alex said in our process, and we want you to know that we see all the effort you’re putting in and ourselves included. And so sometimes when what the results you want aren’t happening, and there’s a lot of effort being put in, you just have to consider that there might be a next step to this process. It’s not that something has gone wrong or been done wrong. There’s another step. So we had a client, who you know, in my in the last episode, in part two, I talked about how I finally found my brain chemistry was off. And that was just such a huge understanding about my serotonin and my dopamine in that ratio, and how it really changed how I looked at myself and how hard I was on myself. We had another client had a very similar experience, when she looked at her brain chemistry, again, serotonin dopamine ratio was off as she shifted that and that was shifting with her protocol. She noticed, oh my gosh, I’m no longer reaching like obsessively for my phone. And it was such a cool realization. She’s like, I didn’t even know how bad it was, until now, I’m not doing it and just seeing the difference in my behavior based on my brain chemistry shifting. And that was a super cool discovery. And what happens when we stop here, so this will be aware a lot of people stop, it’s like, Okay, I’ve done the physical stuff. I’ve done the supplements stuff, and we’ll stop there. And sometimes it often there will be a few weeks where it is great, maybe even a few months. And if there is a belief underneath that things will shift back. So she found a few weeks, maybe it was even a month or so into the protocol, that behavior with the phone had crept back in. So what’s happening here is that that her brain chemistry isn’t the protocols not working her brain chemistry has automatically shifted back. You know, being the coaching ninjas that we are, we’re like, Okay, that’s interesting, let’s gather some information as to why and the more we dug in with her carefully listening to her words, because words are the clues into the model of her world. And her deep, deep, deep beliefs, those ones I talked about, but are formed in childhood. The ones that we don’t say out loud, there aren’t conscious yet they’re there. And because they’re unconscious, they’re running the show 95% of the time. So it’s really important to explore this landscape and how are you going to know if you look at your realities that people say, Well, how do I know what these beliefs are underneath? Look at your physical 3d reality. What is around you? What is your money belief? If you look at how much money you have, what is your what’s going on? In your process of healing? Do you have the belief? Money’s hard to come by healing is hard. Life is hard. What are the beliefs because as you look around, you will see evidence of this. And there’s a lot to do. There’s a lot to do about that. I had this belief around money that there’s always enough, just enough and I thought that’s a pretty awesome belief. Like yeah, I want to always have enough, right? And I would notice that there would be almost exactly to the penny. If I made an extra amount of money for a client like you know, $2,220 I would then also all of a sudden that same month. Oh, you I would have to get my cracked windshield fix. It was uncanny how exact these numbers in and I said, Oh, I see, I can see this comes in this goes out, I had a belief that it will, it should always do just enough. Now there’s a lot underneath that to that story, I was able to rewrite that, that there’s an abundance for me and have that shift. So this is how you can see the physical stuff, reality. 

Dr. Alex Golden  15:27 

And that makes sense when we have supercomputers in our skull that get programmed. And they’re programmed to take a lot of information, the color of your countertops, the way that the floor feels below your feet, the way that your hair is brushing up against your shoulders, the way that your stomach feels a little bit hungry right now, everything is getting picked up by the brain. But we would go insane if we were conscious to it, because it would be too much, especially these days in modern society. And that means that the super computer has to weed out the information for you. It means that it will look for and create the relevant things to point out to you. That is how that happens. So while it can feel uncanny of how consistently this works, it is no different than saying I’m looking for a red shirt and you see red shirts everywhere. I always have just enough money, it will make sure that you oh hey, now I’m interested in that program. Oh, how convenient. It costs $2,000. Right? It will always make sure that you are right. It will always reaffirm what is already efficiently programmed. And that is why we can’t leave things on autopilot. And at the same time, it’s also very, very handy that once we understand how this works to program and navigate that intentionally ourselves means that you are never at the mercy of life lifing in the same way. 

Megan Blacksmith  17:07 

Hmm, absolutely. Same thing happened with that client with the phone addiction. We uncovered that there was a story underneath this. So yes, her brain chemistry had changed. Yes, she had gotten into state Yes, she had gotten clear on her goal. But there was a belief that her worth is tied to her productivity. And she had linked her phone which had her to do list and had her email and had her stuff all the apps and all this stuff to getting things done. So even with the brain chemistry shifted your beliefs will trump in the long run, right? That’s the 95% of the time this is what leads to the yo yo dieting or the plateaus after progress or the backsliding after feeling good. 

Dr. Alex Golden  17:49 

Yes. And isn’t that interesting because we talk about how powerful supplements are but that our internal state will always out when the supplements we cannot out supplement our emotional and mental patterns. And that is because we think things and we feel things so much more than you could ever take supplements for right that day in and day out habitual patterns and the wiring will lead your brain chemistry to that state in a more powerful way than food or drinks or supplements or tinctures could ever do. This is a beautiful Case in point and that in that yes, supplements will shift it but you can absolutely shift it right back. If you don’t change the things around it. 

Megan Blacksmith  18:49 

Yeah, and that’s so common. What happens and then we start to go, Oh, I’m a failure. I’m always wrong. Right? 

Dr. Alex Golden  18:55 

There’s more belief form that never works for me. Nothing works for me. I worked for others. Yeah, my history is complex. 

Megan Blacksmith  19:06 

Yeah. And I am a failure. Which Alex? Guys have a good story about this? 

Dr. Alex Golden  19:12

I sure do. And really, how does one know that you’re in this place? Right? Because sometimes we do make progress. And then it feels like it comes right back? Well, our emotional state, like we talked about is exactly what’s going to let you know, because your emotional state is often tied to not exclusively but as tied to the thoughts that we think and those are always going to give you clues to the beliefs. So more than likely, you know that you’re not meeting what you say that you want. You’re not meeting the goal or the outcome and you feel bad about it. That is going to be your first clue. Your first clue that there are things underneath the surface that are not being be taken into account, there is fragmentation within yourself. And those negative emotions, that discomfort that you feel, is what is communicating with you. That’s what they’re there for. So let’s talk about what that actually looks and sound like in your head then, right? These are the people. If this is you, you’re gonna think stuff like I’m messing everything up, or something that’s really common. It’s just confusion. Right? I just don’t even know what to do at this point. What should I try hard next? Or even if I do know that I should do this, and it’s good for me? Why am I so resistant to it? Why does it feel threatening to me? Why do I always have fear, even though it sounds like hey, this could help? I won’t even move myself towards it necessarily. Right? And so these are when you’re having these thoughts, and you’re having that the threatened feeling, and the fear, the guilt, the shame, those are often the things that are going to come up first. And it’s really important to think of the motions and really use them to see what are these guiding me towards because it’s so easy to take negative emotions and then go, Well, if I just do this, I’ll get feel a little bit better, right? I’ll just go check things off the list, or I’ll go have a healthy meal, or I’ll go work out because I had sugar before, right? Instead stopping and saying, Hmm, this is, this is telling me something. And more than likely exactly what Meg and I are talking about is how you’ll know because this is this is the make it or break point, I’m going to tell you right now, this sounds like Oh, feel your feelings. But what I’m going to tell you is that this is the reason you’re going to meet your goal or not. And here’s why. When we think the same things, and therefore feel the same emotions, we will always see things in the same way. And therefore we will take the action in the limited scope that we already understand. And that is why you can probably relate to the fact that your life doesn’t change that drastically every year, it’s just a little bit better. Maybe you’re a little bit healthier, a little bit more peaceful, a little bit happier, but nothing’s really drastically changing that much. And is because these things haven’t shifted enough to change that perspective, moving up the Empire State Building to get a different look. And this is a this is a beautiful example. There’s so many that exists like this. But this is the creation of super glue. So there’s a guy, he’s making super glue. And  he’s in construction. And so he understands the value of bonding things. Right? And he’s like, there’s this problem. And there could be a solution. If I just have the thing that bonded things really securely, then I’d be rich, right? He’s probably thinking like, sweet, I see a need, as all entrepreneurs, I see a need, I can think of a solution. And let me get after it so often. And he makes it, it makes it makes it and it keeps being really not sticky. And it’s not even kindness. You know, it’s not even like, medium sticky. This isn’t like your regular Elmers glue is like I’m trying to make super glue. And this thing comes right off and sticks back and comes right off and six bag comes right on the six bag. Right? And if you’re that guy, and you’re trying to make sticky glue, and the belief is it or if I make super glue, if I make super glue, then I can have the life I want, then I’ll have the money, then I’ll be known for something. I’ll feel good about myself. And I’ll be the guy that created super glue, right? I can kind of imagine how that would go in his head. Because I’ve done the same thing for stuff. Well, when that wasn’t working out, if he had continued to see it, as I’m making a superglue that’s not sticky. All those emotions is that the guilt, the shame, the feeling terrible about himself that he saw need, he can’t do it. He keeps failing at it. Think about how he goes to bed each night what he thinks about himself, how he talks to his partner or his kids trying to explain the situation. You know, it’s just it’s really not happening. This man though, this man said, Oh, but that’s solving a different problem here. And that’s how that’s how we got stuck. key notes. This is actually the story of how we got sticky notes. So this man said, I created a glue that’s not only not that sticky, but it comes off without leaving a residue. And I can stick it back on, he put on paper, put a bunch of papers together, and now we have sticky notes. And thank God because I use sticky notes every single day in my life. If he had not said that, oh, wait, these negative emotions are telling me something. And I need to have the wherewithal to look at them have this is courage at its finest, because it’s hard to look within ourselves and say what’s happening here, but when we do that trade off, is such that he could see what my limited goal was, was this, but what I’m creating needs a different need. And in pursuing that, and following that, I can see it for what it is. And that man is incredibly successful. And that man and his family have generational wealth, from sticky notes. If he wasn’t willing to change, none of that would have happened. He could have created a subpar Super Glue even stuck to that. And his life would have gone very differently. And that is the exact same thing. So Megan, and I, as you know, if you’ve been around originally, right? What did Megan and I start with? We started with the physical body. And we actually did detoxes first, right, it was the love your liver detox, we talked about all of the different organs in addition to the liver, and how to support them. Because that’s what we were working on at the time. This is 10 years ago. And that was our limited perspective. Now what we’re talking about is very different. At each point, we had to say, I’m feeling that these are not something’s going that I feel fragmented we are here for us. And only in the looking at lots more here for us have we 10 years later then created something that feels so much better to us and is making a bigger impact in the world. It’s very, very powerful. This is how you get your goals without this. No perspective. No difference. 

Megan Blacksmith  27:32 

Yeah, that that sticky note guy. He could have just said, Gosh, everything works for everybody else, but not me. Right. Like he maybe couldn’t receive our see the message in this or the potential in this. We’ve had this Dr. outs and I have had this it’s like it works. You know, there’s a belief that maybe we have to have a certain process for it to doing air quotes work. And maybe it is working for you too, but just in a different way than you think. Because many people think that things didn’t work for them just because there was a problem with the thing or a problem with the plan. But what if it didn’t work for you not because there was a problem with the plan but because you’re not open to receiving the plan and the benefits? 

Dr. Alex Golden  28:27 

Self Sabotage? at its finest, right? 

Megan Blacksmith  28:31 

Yeah. Who’s getting a little feeling around this? 

Dr. Alex Golden  28:36 

Yeah, like the dating where you want to be close. But you’re always waiting for them to mess up. So you can push them away. Right? There’s that red flag you now I can feel safer with you like I’m lonely. But at least you’re over there and who I really want to help people and be proud of my Instagram and my coaching business. But, you know, if I don’t post I don’t have to see the zero likes. Yeah. And this is how continually we can break our own heart a little bit. And end up in a space where we’re even scared to dream a little bit right, man. Absolutely. It hurts to never get a higher perspective. 

Megan Blacksmith  29:30 

feel safer not to even dream. Mm hmm. And you can’t miss it. Yeah, and you also can’t get 

Dr. Alex Golden  29:37

Right. You can’t. You can’t be let down if you don’t get your hopes up. Not getting your hopes up is the very reason that there’s no emotional gas in the tank. When there’s if we’re not excited. If we’re not motivated. Why are you going to how are you going to Do the things, right? It just doesn’t happen. We didn’t record this going. Maybe we have something that’ll help people? No, because if we thought that you wouldn’t be listening to this, we’d never have the motivation to show up day in and day out and have 15 seasons of this podcast, it just would never happen. Because Megan and I, I will say are not stupid, right? Why would we do something that we do not think is good, right? If you don’t think you lose weight, going to the gym, or eating healthy, or whatever else you’re trying to do, is very motivating, quite honestly, why stick with it? Your brain is like, that’s a lot of energy that you’re asking me to expend for no reason at all. I already know that outcome, and I’m programming it for you. Thank you for letting me know.

Megan Blacksmith  30:52 

That’s right. Yeah, 

Dr. Alex Golden  30:55 

and this becomes, this becomes really where it’s a blessing to have other people in our environment mirror things back to us, right. Because sometimes we can’t see where we’re stuck. All we know is that we feel bad. But we’re here to remind you that feeling bad matters. And that’s actually a huge piece of information. So if you have that, you have everything you need to get started. And really, the mirror is in our lives of people, showing us what has happened and what is in their world. And how it reminds us of ourselves is a huge blessing. Because that’s how we often can look around and say, Wait a second, I am in this limited box. When I am acting in this environment, when I’m playing this role with this group of people, you know, family dynamics, I had this with my mother, I was this version of a daughter, I was this version of what that looked like. And it meant that I had to act a certain way, which of course, I had thoughts and feelings about. And I did not have the belief that it could be different. And the resentment and the bitterness just crept up and up and up until what most of us do is we can’t take it anymore. Right? We can’t take it anymore. And the negativity of that becomes the motivator for transformation. What we’re saying is you don’t have to wait for that because it’s so painful. I actually very much dislike the idea that’s going around of Yeah, the struggle is how we all transform that things don’t change when things are good. Well, I Call Bull on that, because I don’t know why any of us would want to wait for that. We can take those things now. Those emotions, that those mirror that we see in others and say, okay, but this is one version of that. All these beliefs of who a good daughter is, are keeping me where I am. And all these things have I’m a people pleaser that I told myself, we’re perpetuated within that relationship, because I kept acting that way. And how much am I gonna build self confidence when I’m daily undermining through my actions, the fact that I won’t let people walk over me, right, I can do affirmations till I’m blue in the face. It won’t shift. And at some point, I had to say, I’m not willing to play that role anymore. And that was the first time that I actually broke out of the box. That was the first time in my life. And then I continue to do it and various other aspects of my environment that said, I have been this, and I’m not willing to be it anymore. No shade or hate towards anybody else. This is just what I’m doing for me. And of course, there’s navigation along that way. But, you know, you know, where your beliefs are holding you stuff by how bad you feel on certain topics, right now, whatever is coming up for you as I’m talking. That’s, that’s the primary one, right? And if there’s a couple, one at a time, but you know, you know, in your heart, when you’re not where you’re supposed to be, because our beliefs are within us, and our emotions will let you know what’s going on. And if it’s not good, you have the power to change it. And if that’s not a belief that you have, that’s where you start. 

Megan Blacksmith  34:47 

Grab a friend to be this mirror for you. Grab a friend grab a buddy grab somebody from the challenge because we all need that mirror. I had this friend who really he really needed that mirror from me because she was really walking around thirsty all day, she’s walking around asking people she’d carry around her cup. Nowadays, she’s actually walking around and asking people if they’d fill up her cup because she’s so thirsty. And at the end of the day, she looked in her cup, and there was nothing there. And she’s like, see, look, see, look, there’s nothing in the cup. No one loves me. And no one’s no one is willing to fill my cup. Clearly, asking for what I want is not helping. That was the belief that was decided there. I’m asking for something. And I’m ending the day without it. So she told her friend and amazing coach about her cup problem. She’s like, no matter what I do, no matter how good I am, no matter how many people I ask, no matter how much effort, my cup is just not full at the end of the day. So the coach asked her friend, she said, I want to come and see this process and see what’s happening. She’s like, let me just follow you around. And this this just doesn’t seem right. It doesn’t add up doesn’t match my model of the world. And so she followed the Frenchie immediately knew the problem. Like, Oh, honey, this isn’t a problem with what you’re doing. It’s just that your cup has a lid on it. All day long people have been pouring into your cup and pouring into your cup and pouring into your cup. And none of it has been going in. You’ve asked for and received exactly what you asked for. You just weren’t able to receive it. So was there a problem with what she was doing? Was there a problem with her strategy? Because that’s where we jump right? There’s a problem with my diet. There’s a problem with my protocol. There’s a problem with my physician. 

Dr. Alex Golden  36:53 

Get rid of that husband. Yeah. Or does she just 

Megan Blacksmith  36:57 

need to realize that she had to remove the lid? Yeah. 

Dr. Alex Golden  37:05 

That’s kind of a desert story with the water. WriteLine. Yeah, 

Megan Blacksmith  37:09 

that’s a good one. 

Dr. Alex Golden  37:10 

Yeah, the this is the flip side is sometimes where we’re in the desert with our buddy, it’s me and Megan. We’re in the desert. We’re walking. We’re getting to our destination, we have a way to go. And I have this bottle of water. And Megan doesn’t have any. Right. We’re just walking in the desert. I look at my cup. And online. Or the this bottle. I’m like, Man, the labels all like peeling off from me touching it my sweaty hands. And there’s kind of sand in it for me open when I was drinking. It’s just it’s just not good enough for Megan. It says I know that this is water. But and I know that it’s helpful. But I can’t give it to her. This is just This is just not good enough for me. And then and then we get there and I’m okay. And Megan’s getting IV for her hydration because she’s really dehydrated. She’s telling the tech. Yeah, no, I was in the desert. And so I got dehydrated. And the techs like yeah, oh, that makes sense. You’re in the desert. And you know, how’s everybody else doing with you? And she’s like, Oh, Alex is fine. She had water. Right. So the Tet? What would the tech think, right? Your friend was with you. She had water and she let you dehydrate. And that’s kind of what we do. Especially when we say, Yeah, I’m a good person, right? I’m a good person. I’m trying to be gentle parenting, I’m trying to be a different kind of coach, I’m trying to lead the world in a different way. And then we have all these beliefs that say, but who am I to sell? Who am I to speak up? Who am I to lead the charge? Who am I and we have things that help like the water and we won’t even share it with the people we love around us. We won’t even post online to go put that helpful message out there for the person who’s praying at home for the help that you can provide, and it’s not coming. Right? That when we have those kinds of beliefs, we often tell ourselves the story of no but really, you know, these are my I’m not good enough. Who am I that I have impostor syndrome, all this stuff? And really the flip side of that is sure you can really believe those beliefs. But when you go look at it from a higher perspective, are you really being the person you said as quite honestly, I would not be being a good friend. I wouldn’t be being a good friend with a subpar water bottle. I would just be not being good friend. Period. And that’s a better pill to swallow. Because sometimes the stories and the beliefs that we have, make us feel like it’s good kind of like how what I used to tell about people pleasing and be like I’m so nice to people. Why aren’t they treating me well? Oh, and then I thought, oh my gosh, Alex, you just do things so that you get a certain response from them. And that is quite honestly, the definition of manipulation. And therefore, these beliefs, they’re not just keeping you from your goals, they’re damaging. They’re, they are the thing that is guiding you towards where you’re going. But it’s not the cost to not doing it is not just neutral. The cost of not doing it is really high. It’ll cost you your life and your dreams. And I know that’s tough to hear. Because Megan and I have had these realizations. But that is how that works. That’s the truth. And when we have the courage to do that work, and overcome those things, we also get all of the gold, all of the amazing stuff on the other side of that, and it’s worth it. It really is, but it’s not for the faint of heart. And quite frankly, a lot of people aren’t willing to do it. But I think that you are, if you’re listening to this, and you made it that far you are, there’s something inside you that says I’m meant for more. I will not tolerate this. Because I deserve better, I deserve more, and I will go and create it. And we want that for you too. 

Megan Blacksmith  41:30 

Yes, just like that client who believed the one who found that even the neurotransmitter protocol, got her brain chemistry in a different place. But then she still had that belief that busy equals worthy. Right? So she discovered that old belief was able to clear it. Of course, that was fabulous, then what identity did she want to have? What did she want to believe instead? What would she do with this extra time and extra energy she had. So there’s a step to clearing. But then there’s the what are we putting in there and that it’s really important to make sure that you’re then installing the new beliefs, the new belief that lead the new the new identity that lead to the new life, that lead to this exciting thing that she’s going to do, and you’re going to do. And now with this space, she said, Oh my gosh, I didn’t realize how much time I was spending on social media, on accounts that were not actually leading me toward where I wanted to go. And with this extra time, she really she actually really, really had always wanted to be a coach. She’s an amazing coach, he was a coach to all of her friends and to her family, she just wasn’t getting paid for it. She had a gift. All she needed a little more structure, a little more training and a little more support. And just by installing this belief, and dropping the old one, because what if she had just scrolled forever, just kept scrolling and not done her own thing, because she believed busy was worthy, visit us worthy. That’s how I get my love. And now she’s saying, oh my gosh, I have so much more to give, I can still have get love and feel worthy, while creating while helping other people. And now she does know so cool, and is so cool to see this transition over and over and over again. 

Dr. Alex Golden  43:15 

So true. Now sometimes when this happens, we really can get on a roll, we really can make some decisions and say, No, actually, I’m going to stop responding and reacting to the things that happened to me. And I’m going to start setting the tone myself. This is where I’m going. And this is what I’m willing to fight for and take responsibility for creating. And we start moving and we put one foot in front of the other. And things start flowing, things start moving, things start shifting, things start changing. And that’s a really fun experience. But sometimes, what trips people up at that point is that sometimes life will life real hard, it’ll kind of throw a wrench in there, then there’s a pandemic, then there’s inflation, then there’s a war. And all of a sudden, all of a sudden, from that new identity, or the old habits start to creep in sometimes the old ways of thought start to creep in. And so this is the springboard that we’re going to talk about tomorrow for because when we talk about fragmentation as being the cause for disease, the cause for unhappiness. The flip side of that is we need support for everything. And that means that we need to have a filled out enough toolkit to be resourceful enough and to see things in perspective that we see the potential we see the possibilities, and we can navigate them That’s we’re gonna be talking about tomorrow so tune in 

Megan Blacksmith  45:04 

Come on back can’t wait to see you there