Dr. Alex Golden kicks off another little series for this week. In this episode, Dr. Alex talks about identity, patterns and strategies.
Listen to this podcast as Dr. Alex shares about how we can achieve the goal of being able to identify with the way that you are being in your health journey and in your transformation of who you are becoming in life.
Ready to learn more?? Let’s do this!
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Dr. Alex Golden
Hello, hello, this is Alex here. Welcome to the podcast, we are so happy to have you here. And I’m kicking off another little series. Now it is hard to follow Megan’s because it was so stellar. And if you haven’t listened to it yet, definitely check that out. Because there was a whole lot of amazing stories that Megan share that our I love. I even heard a lot of them as they were happening, but to listen to that podcast series was so much fun. So go check that out. If you have Listen, already, you’re all ready for this little series that I’m going to do. This is going to be a series of short episodes shorter, at least. And the goal is to help you identify with the way that you are being in your health journey. And in your transformation of who you’re becoming in life. We talk about identity a lot here. And there are patterns that we see. And we talk about patterns and strategies on the podcast a lot here. And so what we have done is distilled the seven most common patterns that we’ve seen, and that we see, to this day being played out by a lot of people. And the goal of this is to listen along and begin to consider which one or which ones you identify with and relate to the most. That will be coming out in a series and as you listen along. My goal is that you begin to identify and have more insight into the patterns that are creating these outcomes that you do not want in life or rather not creating the outcomes that you do want in life. And that can feel very frustrating. And the way that I talk about this, what I call this is fragmentation blindness, right when we don’t know that we have separated parts of ourselves out. And we know we’re fragmented when we’re sick and unhappy. And we notice that because we say Oh, my life over there is over there. But my life over here is over here. And they’re separate. That’s a big clue that you’re dealing with fragmentation, blindness, you can’t see where the walls really are. And so it gets really confusing. What I hope to do here in this series is to create these small podcast episodes that will make it very easy to listen and consider who you are being in this process and what that really looks like what behaviors what kind of patterns, what is going on in life, what kind of thoughts you’re having that are leading to these problems. Now for all of this series, what are we going to do with that information, right? Because information is really important feedback is key to the journey, right? If you don’t have feedback on how you’re doing, it’s really hard to become the identity that you say that you want. But where we are going with all of that, is that that identification, knowing what’s going on with you. And having that understanding, then allows you to figure out what strategies are going to work for you, and what resources are actually missing from your world, what is going to be most supportive, what’s going to move the needle forward. So after this series, we’ll kick off our habit challenge. So it’s the five day challenge, and it’s going to be on the podcast. So if you’re listening on great, you’re already going to be included in it. But there is the workbook. And when you turn on the workbook, the that challenge is going from September 12 to September 16. And then the workbook is going to be due that Sunday, and you can win $500. So really, the whole point is for you to begin to use this information to get a lot more clarity about where the sticking points really are for you. And then to go directly into that challenge get signed up. Because that’s when you’re going to figure out what actions do you want to take, and how you want to actually make that happen. So this is all just going to be one big lead up to that. Go get signed up for the challenge then so zesty ginger.com/habit is how you can get signed up. The challenge is different this year, are different than when we did earlier this year. We do that our habit challenge twice. We heard you everybody right now is reeling from the last year or two. And there’s a lot of challenges and people are either in the category of trying really, really hard and feeling frustrated or they’re just so burned out that is kind of like whatever. And then there’s the third category of people so trying to jump from one to the other and kind of trying to balance the two. Either way, though, All, you know, we hear you and we see what’s going on in the world. And you know that it’s important for Megan and I to be really responsive to that. And so we’re doing the habit challenge completely different. It’s called the effortless habit challenge. Effortless habit change challenge, because what we would like to do is to show you how to use brain based rewiring by listening, and beginning to integrate, and have clarity around the choices that we’re making. This is going to be unlike any other series that you have seen us do before. Very, very different. And it’s going to be a lot less work on your part, we got you, we hear that people are struggling. And that’s why we have tools for it, we’re going to essentially do them with you and take you through the process. And it really brings us a lot of joy to do that. But we also know that it’s really hard struggling with all this stuff is just been hard. And we we are of the belief that the answer is always how to how do we all support ourselves? How do we support each other. And this is really our solution to that. So we’re so so excited, pause this go get signed up, and then come right back. But let’s start with the first kind of category people. And for this, I want you to for this series, I just want you to listen along. And I’m going to be talking through these kinds of avatars, these characters that we can fall into playing, right, and the first one that I want to talk about is the knee shaker. So anyone who habitually shakes their knee under the table, you’re already kind of like doing right. But the knee shaker actually shows up in a lot of different ways. The knee shaker is essentially categorised by someone who is living from constant fear. Now that doesn’t mean you feel fear all the time. But fear of failure fear of hurt fear of damage, drive a lot of the knee shakers experience, the thoughts are very much rooted. And am I doing this? Right? Right? Who am I to do this? What if I don’t like it? What if that’s not safe? What if something bad happens after it? And this is the the under the table knee shaker or the knee shaker is really just someone who feels incredibly threatened? Within who they are? Right? Am I right? Am I really who I say I am? Is that even the right thing? How would I know if that were the case? All of these things are in a manifestation and an outflow of this fear that lives of the fear that somehow I’m wrong. Somehow I’m threatened. And so it comes out and living in fight or flight and living in survival mode. And this is what problem might my dealing with today? What is the relevant things that you’re gone along one problem, then all of a sudden, another one pops up? You go over there? Oh gosh, I better manage this now. Right? And then that one kind of is poking along and then another problem comes up or the old problem comes up. And then you’re like, Okay, I’m gonna go over here. Now I’m gonna go back to this. And it always just feels like you’re halfway living off a prayer. razor’s edge of falling down into the abyss. And not being able to climb out of it. Right. The fear is actually, at some point, I could tip and it’ll be too much, and there will be nothing I can do about it. So within that fear, the motion of powerlessness, hopelessness, despair, tend to be very prevalent for the knee shaker. Very often, though, the knee shaker is someone who has a fear of their emotions, because it seems like they will overtake them. They don’t have the power to assume what if I get so sad whenever I get so down? Where like this that I can’t even survive that there’s a real primal fear there. And what ends up happening is that because the emotions are so triggering to people, they repress them. So the under the table, nice shaker, just the knee shaker in general, is someone that will that will generally play a pretty small and they will not really be acknowledging that the amount of fear and worry anxiety that’s really happening. They definitely know it’s a problem. And if you are listening to this and you’re identifying this, you know that anxiety and worry is a problem for you. But do you really feel the full spectrum of emotions that feed that. Oftentimes that’s where people find the emotional home of anxiety and depression as a as a place to be, right and because of the brain chemistry, and we find ourselves stuck in that kind of where the environment, our central nervous system, the brain chemistry, all are the parameters that are keeping us in this fight or flight mode, the survival, just a chronically stressed out chronically threatened state, it’s really hard to feel safe processing emotions, when we feel really, really tiny, because as anybody with kids know, emotions can be really, really big. And they can come out in really big ways. That also means that the knee shaker is someone that finds it really hard to sit with other people’s emotions, when other people are mad at them or upset with them, or triggered by them. It’s almost impossible to sit still, it feels so anxiety inducing, and so scary to have that loss of tribe and connection, that a lot of times we will do kind of goofy things like not setting boundaries, being clingy being needy, pushing people away. Some of those things can come up, though, you’ll hear that, that in particular, and some of the other areas as well. But this can happen a lot. And that because the NI shaker is not self regulating other people’s does. Regulation is certainly not something that feels comfortable or is even welcome. And therefore we can have a strong desire to connect with others and have a sense of belonging and be loved. And not really be able to get there to not really feel comfortable having the kind of interactions that breed intimacy and trust at the level that we really need to feel connected to someone else. This, of course, means that all of this upregulation ends up in the physiology. And so what are some of the ways that someone can know that they’re the knee shaker, by looking at what’s happening in their body, a lot of times these people have higher heart rates, there’s that anxiety drives a little bit of that heart rate. And that restless feeling feeds into that as well. These are people who have a hard time sitting still they overwork. And there’s lots of restlessness, so restless legs, kind of that anxiety, feeling. All of those things are hallmarks, hair falling out low energy, no libido, low creativity, you can kind of hear a ramped up central nervous system, you’ve heard me talk about this before this is living in fight or flight. This is living in survival. And of course, all of these thriving things, the libido, the fertility, the great energy, the creativity, to write a book, start a podcast, do a business, whatever it is, is just not there. Because the focus is not on creation, the focus really is on survival. So with with the niche shaker, you can hear there’s lots of people that will identify with this. I know I certainly have. I know I certainly have been here. And it really creates a scenario where you feel like the world is kind of against you everything is just a little threatening, and interactions and health situations, and money stuff. And relationship stuff is always just seeming to be more powerful than us. You know, Mercury Retrograde people will kind of loop into that. This is all hallmarks of someone who is identifying and living as that person than a shaker. So, even though these things are not super comfortable to admit to ourselves, right? This is where Megan and I talk about how much courage it takes to be authentic and actually notice these things within ourselves. Most people are only willing to do this when they’re backed into a corner. What we would like to propose is that not waiting until you’re in a corner is kind of the same as when you know you’re having a problem with something not waiting for you to snap to have a conversation around boundaries and treatment and all that right. Because when you’re backed into a corner, that survival and the threat will be louder and it will be harder to see what’s going on. Not impossible. We do it when it comes up. But if you are in the state have G this sounds accurate, but I feel uncomfortable with this. This is where, you know, stay tuned for day one of the challenge because we’re gonna talk about that. But really, this is where we can say, I feel the fear of this, I feel the fear of being authentic with myself. And really fear defines courage. Otherwise, you don’t need courage. And that is why when we really look at this and may say, Okay, I may be, you know, identifying in part or a lot, Mike and I were joking around that we’re like, man, a lot of these avatars, we would have felt really cold out. And in some ways we still do, right. And that’s not bad. That’s called self awareness. That’s called insight that’s called growth. To not do this is to be left to the devices of responding to the world rather than creating your own creating who you want to be and the effects you want to have on the world. So check this out, do a little noodling on it. I’ll be back for part two of this and we’ll go on to another one of the avatars. Another one of the avatars is called the squirrel. So a lot of a lot of people are gonna relate to that one as well. And really, besides thinking about this, and considering which ones of these you relate to the most, and which ones make the most sense for you, go sign up for the challenge, because that’s where the action is going to start next. All right, and if you feel guided to take actions around this stuff, as you’re identifying with these, go for it. That’s awesome. That’s empowerment. You got this. Megan and I are really rooting for you. I’ll see you on the next episode. Have a good day.