Season 17, Episode 11- Success Habits Training 1: Rethinking Success & Habits – Why most people focus on useless habits

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Dr. Alex Golden 

Welcome to the zesty ginger podcast. We are Megan and Dr. Alex. We are here for transformation. Yours, ours and the collective, personal and professional for practitioners. But not just any transformation, compassionate transformation. Because between the two of us, we have seemed to have done things the painful way. Let our pitfalls become your stepping stones. We aren’t afraid to share our raw and vulnerable truths in order to help you transform your thinking, your body, your heart and your soul. Combining 15 years of functional medicine, with brain based habit change to lead you to the best life possible in a compassionate way. Compassion, yes, yet plan to roll up your sleeves. transformation requires your participation. And a quick reminder, this information is not meant to diagnose, manage or treat disease. Always consult with your doctor, not this doctor before making changes. Now let’s get into the episode. Hi, and welcome to this very special series that we’re doing. This is the recording that was done from our live training our three part success habits training that is currently going on. So if you are not yet signed up, there’s going to be a link in the show notes where you can and you should go ahead and do that. And get all signed up. Because in addition to the three part series, there is also a VIP option, which will get you even a hypnosis that we did live and the recording that you can keep. So lots of exciting stuff happening. And we’re doing a bunch of giveaways as well. Someone already want 100 bucks on Thursday. So get signed up and make sure that you are taking actions because those actions get you goodies. Okay. So this is our success habits, training that will get you started and unstuck from wherever, wherever you are feeling lost, confused and like things just aren’t flowing. You’re not getting the results that you want, or you feel like you’re working so hard towards but they’re not happening. We got you we’re going to tell you exactly what’s happening there. Okay, so without further ado, let’s hit it.

 

Megan Blacksmith 

All right, welcome. Welcome, everybody. Hi. Oh, yes, lots of people that are awesome. Thank you for seeing, we’d love to see you here live. Anybody watching the replay, go ahead and put hashtag replay. We’re going to have a super interactive series, and we’re giving out some prizes. So there’s some incentive our team will be watching you, our team will be watching you interact and share.

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

So it behooves you to maybe put the hashtag and the participation

 

Megan Blacksmith 

sure that those of you who came with us and were live there in January, you know that we gave away a lot of cool stuff. And it was just whoever came up. So we’re so happy. I Christo are so happy to have you here. Alrighty, so let’s dig in, shall we, Alex? I’ll do it. All right. Ooh. All right. It’s currently this. Awesome. Oh, righty. So we are getting into today successful success habits for coaches, practitioners and leaders who want to get faster results, and therefore make more money. We’d love that for you.

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

Yeah, we’d love that journey for you.

 

Megan Blacksmith 

Our goal is to show you how to accelerate transformation, right there is the idea of changing and up leveling and doing things differently. And the idea of doing it quicker. We haven’t been through a lot of things, personally. And we have combining all of our years of experience together so that you can get there faster. Sound good? Thumbs up, if that sounds good.

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

You do say that a lot of people tell you how to transform. We’re gonna tell you how to get there faster.

 

Megan Blacksmith 

Absolutely. We had an amazing day and a half live training in Virginia Beach recently. And actually, we did just decide we’re going to do another one in August in Dallas. So it was so cool to see how much people showed up. So we decided let’s do something online. Let’s let’s do something where people can get more transformation if they couldn’t make it. And we’re always going to be offering options. Yeah. Brett, was there options for you to be live with us or here? Online. Cool. Okay. Who is this for?

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

All right. So, leaders number one and And we did put even if you don’t think you are one, because what we mean by leaders are people who are thought leaders, you know that because you look around you think how why why do people do this? Why does it work like that? What’s going on here? So, thought leaders of any kind, whether that’s leading your family or leading a business or a massive Corporation, that’s what it’s for. It’s also for any sort of person that thinks differently, right? That kind of thing. And you want to help as a result of that.

 

Megan Blacksmith 

There it is. And today is different and unique. Why is it different and unique, because we have lived this we have integrated all the best of everything we’ve learned, we want to help you create a process for actually sticking to habits, not just reading about them, learning about them going, Oh, that’s good. I’ll start tomorrow. We also want you to make decisions easy easily and competently, you will hear this on repeat. This is what we want for you transform faster and for good. We are not making this stuff up. This is not just theory, this is us working with 1000s of people now. And now that we’re training practitioners in person, and we’re doing certifications, we’re getting to see in real time, not only how fast that ripple effect is going out, but now we’re getting the feedback of what’s working for their clients, what’s working for the hundreds of people they work with. And we are gathering the data and we are putting it together to say let’s make a model that’s different than the conventional world. Let’s make a model that works faster and better. Sound good? But, uh, yes, please, if that is something you can get into.

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

Alright, so here is the crux of the ordeal, right? Here’s the argument, they’re going to crap all along the way. If you add strategies and resources to this for yourself, you will transform at an accelerated pace and have more fun doing it. Which is to say that you will be a powerful leader. Because powerful reason how powerful leaders are resourced up for the things that they need. And that’s why they confidently and easily make decisions about what’s next for themselves, and how they want to help themselves and those around them. Right. So before we really get into the nitty gritty, this is the one thing that we’re going to start to invite to understand that this is why it’s so different. This is a very different conversation, you won’t hear willpower, and I here to have it through, you’re not going to be like suck it up. None of that applies here. Because that’s not thought leadership, that’s just forcing it. We’re going to show you how to actually transform in real time and to become the person that you want to be. And that means that you have to enjoy that life and the creation of it. And that is a big big deal here. Yeah, so this is your resource up because resources get results. If you walk away from day one today. With one thing I would say make it this resource up and you get results faster.

 

Megan Blacksmith 

Yes, please. Okay, who’s ready for more resources? Let’s see resources in the chat. We do have a little delay. So bear with us when your comments come through a little bit after we say it. And I would love to hear before we get into the three success strategies. I would love to hear who is here for because they’re already a coach. What do you identify with? Are you a leader in your leading your family in your community? Are you a coach of some kind? Do you consider yourself an entrepreneur? Tell us how and where you are a leader we believe you all are no matter what Who are you leading? And what in what way are you doing that? We will just wait one second when we see those come in okay leader says crystal Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Chris says there’s so much better than forcing it Yes. We fully believe that. Okay, Coach FDN and NLP Yeah. Stephanie’s awesome. Welcome. My family Kristin leading her family and others. Kristin is currently leading us those others first of my family health coach teacher mom Jessica says awesome becoming a leader. Yes, Brett. You are leader, family, friends, clients coach. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Love it family community. Well, so I know I didn’t at first resonate with leader. So I just want to make sure everybody has understanding that that can mean a wide range of things.

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

Yeah. And to downplay those things that we are costs or something, and it costs us the energy to create results in our world. So it’s actually important. There’s a method to our madness. We do brain based stuff around here. I mean, being an MD, it’s hard for me not to get nerdy on it, right. But you’re, you’re essentially in the statement and you typing it, what is your brain experiencing? Yes, actually, I am a mom, I do have to lead them I am I do this at work, I am leading them i the acknowledgement of what is is a very, very important part into creating the foundation for transformation. So this isn’t just like a funny exercise or like a thing that we’re like, let’s just get interaction, it’s for a reason and it’s for you, you will gain the benefit.

 

Megan Blacksmith 

And along those lines, Who here would like some more money that they could use to become a better leader they could use in their business, they could use their family, right and $100 in the chat, and the first person to write that in will be getting a prize. Who likes money? There’s a delay. The suspense is killing me. Oh,

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

my God, look at your shirt and the slider there.

 

Megan Blacksmith 

Oh, we match. Oh, Brett $100. Okay, she’s getting that. So that big prize giveaway. Thank you for interacting and for playing, we want to disprove remind you, that everything we’re doing has a reason like out then there’s a purpose. We’re rewiring our brain, we’re taking action, we’re doing the things. So we will be sending you $100 gift card, thank you.

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

Because the the the opposite of forcing is rewiring the your brain and your central nervous system to be the identity that you say you are right. So that’s the other pathway for us. And so we have to, we have to transform and do the things that allow that to happen. So when we take you through this process, we’re literally showing you exactly how we do it internal to ourselves and exactly how we deal with clients and exactly how we train people. Right? It’s all there. eautiful.

 

Megan Blacksmith 

Okay, so as you can see, showing up live has its perks if you’re here for the replay type replay, because we’re watching you too. Cool. Just a little reminder, like Oh, find you. Yeah, exactly. As a reminder, there is a workbook that’s in the Facebook group, it is under like files, I think if you want to easily find it like this, post it. So there is a workbook to fill in, because there will be a prize for one of the lovely people who turns in the workbook. And we’ll be announcing that live next week on Monday. So lots of options to win stuff we like to give away that we like, we like to win stuff too. So we’re making it fun. We’re making it interactive or rewarding you for being here. You’re rewarding you for being here. It’s pretty fun. Cool. All right, let’s get into the three success strategies. So high level overview we’re gonna go over getting into state perception is projection and being at cause.

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

Yep. And these are the found when we talk about success habits, right? We’re gonna dig it into starting with Thought Leadership because if you try to force something to happen, right, then you have to blow through all of the thinking differently along the way to get to the aha moment that gets you to say, I embody this now and it is within me to go and live out. And so the setup is very, very important. And before we can get into habits like and we will get there, but how does like when do I go to sleep? When do I wake up? When do I do work? How often are during my phone? When do I get into the gym doing eating the cookies, the laundry list, right? Of the who I’m being that right? There are not the foundational pieces. Those are not the habits that make up the foundation of how you will exist in the world and the impact that you will make. So for leaders, step number one is getting management over your own habits and making sure that you’re looking at the right ones, and you’re looking at a great enough level that warrants being a leader right That makes us put our shoulders back and our head up a little straighter, doesn’t it? Because this is where we get to get tip top shape, and say my mind will also be powerful. And we’re gonna tell you three main things that will help get you there. So this is why these three are really important. So even if they’re not, you’re not like, what I thought you’d be going into some business strategy. This is the business strategy, right? Without this, you don’t have anything else that you can do anything else and we use willpower on Okay, so let’s get into it get into state. Getting into state it, what we mean by that is getting yourself ready, willing, and able and available to function and embody, being the person that you say that you want to be, or that you say that you are. Getting into state then, is a feeling that we get to experience and cultivate, that is independent of circumstances and the reality of human life. Therefore, getting into a state becomes the foundation for taking any sort of action, right? A disempowered state, one that says, Now I put myself out there, and now I’m going to beat myself up for what I did. And then you feel contracted and smile in your body. And your thoughts are ruminating on what you’ve said, and maybe you shouldn’t have said it and all of that all of your time and energy is being fed into there, instead of that energy being used to actually create the results that you want to see out in the world. So then getting into state allows us to not rely on willpower, because getting into stay allows us to keep our sight and our perspectives on the prize, instead of the details and the limitations and the obstacles that come on along the way. Right? Everyone says they want to make more money, great, we want everyone to have as much money as possible. That is our goal, but are. But in the process of making money, right? In the delay, if it’s only about money, it’s hard to wait. Because it seems hard. But when we are in the state of I am clear, I am powerful. And this is where I’m going that way it’s easier. So getting into state can start with our physical body. And that is a lot of the things that people are missing. The people who are most of us are living in planning fight or flight. Because the checklist and the to do’s and the emails and the phone notifications all drive that what then happens is that we can press the actual levers on our body even that are hard wired for calm, clarity, peace, joy, and that is the parasympathetic nervous system. So getting into state can be as easy as breathing, right? four by seven breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system, dumping on the chest to activate the vagus nerve is one so I want to post that post. But I know I’m gonna get some some backlash, right? We just talked about this on one of our ACA calls. If you’re as a leader, if you say the things that people agree with, and you’re just the follower, do I mean, like someone’s already said it and we all agreed and the ship has sailed. Leadership is defined by thinking differently. And therefore when you say it, you will get backlash, because there’s some people who aren’t ready to hear it. That’s fine. They’re not the leader there, right? So you’re thinking about posting and you’re getting activated, and it makes you want to be about that small enough, post it and we can then take deep breaths activate the vagus nerve, I’m saying gargles and water those are also vagus nerve stimulation, and allow our body to feel safe with us being watched and supported by us. And then that allows our mental clarity to stay at what do I need to say that will help and serve the world? Right. So any questions about that? If you do parasympathetic already, I know some of you already have it. Some of you already do. I would love to hear in the comments how you actually use this. I’m going to tell you, this can happen this can work for like I said posting like that. It can be difficult conversations with our romantic partners or in family dynamics. Or it can be at work. I know I for one have used this a lot for being an MD, right? I was, I used to practice. As an anesthesiologist, I currently am an interventional pain doctor. But as an anesthesiologist, there are very tense situations that happen in the operating room, right. And there have been times where I’m managing two situations that are both life and death. At the same time, as you can imagine, I’m in fight or flight. And it would be relatively inappropriate for me to not be in fight or flight at all right? Because it’s a serious situation. And some of the response in my body is important. However, if I let it override too much, and I don’t think clearly, how am I really serving those people. So this is an extreme example. But I want you to think in your own life, if you’re hoping to make the world a better place, then you got to be able to do the things that make you that person and actually create the change, right? So being able, yes, I need to be activated, but also need to think clearly so that I can be a good dog. And so you can betcha in those situations, I would be walking out running down the hall, deep breathing, doing my chest, I’m doing my fingers with my eyes, right, all of the things that I could possibly do us a motion because the clarity, I needed to think what do I need to give what I needed to do? What do I need to reach for who I need to call? All of these things are what it looks like to maintain perspective, and to keep being the visionary portion of the leadership, right? Leaders keep their eyes on down the road where they’re taking themselves and everybody else. And so how do you keep your eye on the prize? Part of it is self management and feeling powerful in the state that you cultivate within yourself.

 

Megan Blacksmith 

Yeah, there’s a lot of really good ones being posted in the chat right now. All the different grounding the breathing, you guys are awesome. chest thumping.

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

Perfect, perfect. Perfect. Yep. So there’s, I mean, this is me. But the, you’re only as calm as you’ve hardwired it to happen, right. So that feeling of getting into state and maintaining perspective is actually something that we get to just make a choice around. Because the reality for the hard wiring of the brain is that the brain will hardwire itself based on how often and how powerfully things are activated. So when we practice it, kind of like basketball players, visualizing doing the free throws, and then actually physically doing the free throws. They know that this is how it works. And that’s why all the Olympic athletes have visualization as part of their practices, right. And so if we know that self management and being in an empowered state, physiologically is how we can do that, then we also need to create habits around hardwiring that end so that you can create an experience as much of that as you want to experience. Now, no one can really tell you how much you need. Right? Honestly, people exist in a panic state in life. Through the end, my mother is like this. But at the same time, if we hope to be leaders, then it does stand to reason that we better be resourced up a decent amount because how else are we going to withstand the things that we’re being asked to do to live out and the challenges and the obstacles that then we are being asked to overcome to create the change we want to see?

 

Megan Blacksmith 

Yeah, beautiful. I just had this happen. And with a client where I said something uncomfortable and saw the client get very, very uncomfortable. And her level of change in physiology, I was mirroring it and starting to feel it creep up. And I was like Ooh, okay, there’s something here for me and after I made sure to go back and like what was my belief around, standing in my power and like holding that space for her and allowing her to feel awkward because she wanted to break through. But there was a little feeling I started to get in as Dr. Alex and I work on this all the time so that we can be a really clear space and a clear mirror not have our stuff up. Because I come up I wouldn’t have been able to help her. In the same way. If I hadn’t worked on getting into parasympathetic and calming the body and I had in that moment. I didn’t knew I went into peripheral I took a deep breath, I was able to, you know, physically shift my body so that I what I needed to do was just sit there quietly, longer. And if I hadn’t calmed my body, my mouth would have started to spit the words,

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

how how what happened out of that story, and

 

Megan Blacksmith 

I was able to just pray, I was able to just breathe while she was sitting there uncomfortably and I got my body back down, I could still see her physiology was quite off. But I was able to let her go through the whole process that she needed to go through instead of inputting the, hey, I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable with that question. It’s just it’s for your growth and right without me trying to fill in, and so that she was able to come around to the answer on her own after her silence. And she’s like, Oh, I see what’s going on. I just I was just very triggered by what you said, because of XYZ, you know it as if somebody else and something else. If I had jumped in, she would have, I think kept that she would have thought it was me that caused that feeling she would have had that directed at me and not have had the realization that this was really just a bigger pattern for her. I love

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

that example. Thank you so much for sharing.

 

Megan Blacksmith 

Yeah, just happen for a reason. Yeah,

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

exactly. I always does guy like the leg tees, you have to master the things that you need to master in my opinion. And so these experiences are really for us. And they are often very much in our face. And it is one of those things where on happens. I’ve learned as I reach for my tools, right? I go resource because it’s true. It’s not easy to lead. And it’s not easy to see someone be uncomfortable. It’s not easy to be like I’m raising my prices, take it or leave it. But what’s going to create expansion, if you keep assuming everyone’s just going to stay poor, the world will stay poor. What is that the outcome that you really want? No. Right. So like, yeah, it’s scary raising prices. But if you’re a leader you do when you need to, right. And so that level of safety that you’re creating will always have your own back so that you can really move through the things that life offers you in a way that will get you what you want, instead of being the reason that you say, oh, yeah, that’s why this always sucks. Yeah, on a scale of one to 10, where would you say you are? Now, many of you have been doing some of this. And that’s awesome. It really, really can’t say enough good things for cultivating safety in the body. The world is not that reassuring? Sometimes, right? So this is where we water our own grasp of this. So if you were to master this area, what impact could it have? So zoom out? I mean, sometimes I like using the concept of time to zoom it out for me, if I were to master being calm and keeping my eyes on the prize, where would I be in five years? And are you willing to come in to learning and leaning into this area more? Right? Because for me that that statement that I you know, I keep saying of you can only be as calm as your brain is hardwired to be when I asked myself? Can you commit to learning this area more? Am I committed to learning this area? More? The answer is always yes. Because I want to be so at peace, that my vision is clear. No matter what my boat stays still while the ocean rages. Or the oceans calm. It does not matter, right? That’s what I want. And so I’m very committed. So I do the things that mean and that’s a different thing than willpower because that’s a value of mine. Me as an adult identity have decided that is a value and that I don’t waver on then right that’s not the how do I feel about it today? I feel about it the same way I feel about it every day. Do you know what I mean? That’s not I’m tired. Or I’m depressed even or an anxious I want that no matter what. Because I know who I want to be. So that’s why we ask these questions.

 

Megan Blacksmith 

Thank you for everybody who’s interacting with the questions if you’re watching the replay still please interact. This is important for our brain. A lot of room for growth here people are saying to keep adding leads in Teach them to their clients. Yeah, teaching them to their clients. Oh,

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

well, yeah. Because all the people that you’re struggling with that you’re like going My gosh, why do I got all these messages? Why are they always ramped up their their anxiety bothers me? Well help them out first of all, and to help them think differently so that they don’t keep doing that, right? There is no reason to get six messages from somebody they can manage. People can do, can show up and themselves more than that. We cut people short to assume that they don’t got it. I mean, but people do got it. The people are strong, they’re resilient, and they’re amazing.

 

Megan Blacksmith 

What does such a good lead in? Such a good leader

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

is like we do live this out.

 

Megan Blacksmith 

Our next point here is perception is projection. And what Dr. Alex just said is if you have people showing up for you continuously in a certain state in an anxious state in a freakout state, we want you to ask yourself, where in your life? Are you doing that? Because maybe it’s in a different context, you might be like, Oh, no, I don’t show up to my coaching calls like that. Maybe you realize, oh, I show up to my partner like that I show up to my kid like that. The idea is that if you can see something in someone else it is inside of you. And I love we both love to essentially live live this concept. This is an everyday concept. This is part of our lifestyle. This is a habit, this is what we do. This is who we are always looking especially well, both sides when there’s something we don’t like what we see. And also when there’s something we do like what we see is either way, it’s coming towards us, it’s a part of us, especially important as the leader of anything especially important in business. Because when you are somewhere, including like a restaurant, I want you to ask is the way I’m acting is the way and I don’t even just mean outwardly. Maybe you’re very, very kind to the waitress. But maybe internally, you’re thinking how that why the hell are they charging that much for this? This is BS, how is how you’re acting the way you would love people to show up working with you. And this thing, whether you’re having a business and charging people, or whether this is just how the people you’re leading are showing up to you. Like this is BS, right. But we start to look at every single interaction that we have, in this way. An amazing story, an example of this, because the cool thing is, once you find what the projection is, you can actually do the work internally to shift that belief and end the projection. So if you have someone who’s continuously showing up super, super anxious, I want you to look at yourself, I want you to really expand on the parasympathetic tools really learn about getting in state and see what happens when you show up calmer. Just see what happens. We have a friend who had this pattern happen with clients, right? It’s such a good, so good,

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

oh my god, she kept getting on

 

Megan Blacksmith 

the phone. And she was having a spell of like if she’d gotten on the phone with 10 Different people who had all said no to her package. And this does not normally happen she has done is an amazing coach and has worked with a lot of people. And she’s like, gosh, I keep getting and everyone was saying, Oh, I really need a payment plan. And like, I gotta I gotta talk to my husband. So it was always the same objection payment plan. Gotta talk to my husband. Okay. Now she and I are together at an at an actual live training and the training and when it gets to the end, they’re like, hey, there’s another level, right? There’s always more to learn. And they’re giving the offer and she’s like, oh, gosh, I don’t know if she really wanted to do it. She really wanted to do it. She loved what we were learning, but she had resistance coming up. And you know, it was a lot of money, right? And she’s like, Oh, I don’t know, it’s like a year away. I would want a payment plan. I don’t want to just give them my money now. And you know, she’s like, I promised my husband that I would not join anything else without talking to him. And the second came out of her mouth. She was like, oh, oh my gosh, when she heard it come out of her own mouth. She realized the exact same objection that had been coming back to her from clients was the one she had. So she said I would like to end this right now. And I’m not saying anybody needs to do this. There’s no advice Lance not talking to her husband but she went up front she handed them her credit card she said I’d like to pay in full although my husband later the next week. All four of the client introduction call that she had they all join on the spot paid in full and she just didn’t hear the husband thing anymore. We see this happen over and over and over again. I mean, you can’t make

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

literally all day long you start you start paying attention you will see it and inside. You know when we have more time like inside our health, transformation and stellarator we describe everything from how the energy You have this happens to the reticular activating system in the brain and mirror neurons and things like that. So we are geared to have life work this way we can deny it kind of like, but it’s kind of like denying gravity, like, your butt is still going to hit the ground, right. And the cool thing is that this can be used for good or for ill, right? Because you can use this to beat yourself up and explain why you’re bad. And that is not what it is to be used for this is to change the projection by asking yourself, How can I more powerfully show up in an aligned way with who I want to be most, right? So it’s to take action on and to make movement and commotion and results in your life. Because if you use it to beat yourself up, you will know you’re doing that because you’re not getting the results, your energy is being spent on that and you won’t make this stuff happen. So watch your projections there for what you’re making them mean. And that is why we want to highlight when I was going through IVF for infertility is Gosh, I don’t know. But I was going through it. And I used to open up Instagram see of, you know, a baby announcement and cry. And then I learned this and I was like, oh, every time I see a birth announcer it just means it’s possible for me. And my experience, just day to day was so much better. What can you create, when you’re not crying all day long, I created a lot more so much more that it literally went around that whole obstacle, right? My my life just flowed in a way that things change. They transformed and I like it now. Right? And so the results then took me and it took changing the mirror. And what I was making that mean to get there.

 

Megan Blacksmith 

Beautiful. So everything we see in someone else is a reflection of ourselves. Carl Jung, the where are you? Let’s hear in the chat on a scale of one to 10. Where are you with this? If you were to master this area, and really be considering this idea of perception is projection, what is coming back to you? What are we putting out? And then can you commit to learning this area more? We had this happen a lot when we were first doing our groups where people would comment with their wins of like, Oh, I feel so much better, like my cycle is all good now. And then that people who weren’t changing at first were like, Oh, this is so annoying, I don’t want to see your wins, until we’re able to help them realize, right, that means it’s coming to you. That means it’s possible, it’s possible for someone else. And just that small shift, I mean, think about what happens with your physiology by having the angry thought of like, ah, they shouldn’t have it with, you know, if I don’t, versus like, Oh, I could get that that’s a complete change in your inner soup and your inner chemistry.

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

And that’s exactly what your ovaries are gonna hear here. So all those hormone found that they were hoping that he’ll and wondering why they weren’t. The signal was not what they wanted to create. And that’s why this matters. So very much more than supplements down the hatch, or, you know, weight, food and things like those things are important. Don’t get us wrong, but they’re not foundational, they’re inside the house. And they’re decorative.

 

Megan Blacksmith 

Yeah, this becomes a way of living for all of you who are saying you want to learn this more, I highly, highly suggest digging into this. Right?

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

Number three, they have it of being at cause is a really powerful foundational habit that we encourage everybody to begin to cultivate. Because when we choose when we are in the power of choosing what we want to do in life, and the way that we want to respond to things, we get to see the evidence of how that plays out. And it builds on the confidence and the self worth that we have. When we say there’s a difficult situation and we make it work that you that you become an experience along the way is unshakable, right. Someone could come say you don’t handle things well, but if you have a whole bank of experiences in your life where you did handle challenges, well, you’re really not going to be very thrown by that comment because you’re gonna be like, that’s just not true. And that’s why we don’t talk about willpower to sit around and just think positive thoughts about yourself and hope that works. Because honestly, just even from a brain wiring standpoint, that will take a long time. There’s not enough emotion that’s authentic tied to that that will speed up that process and you’ll just be doing affirmations for like three years. just fine, that’ll work eventually. But like, do you really want to do it that way. And so being at cause and saying, the buck stops with the leader, and life can life, but what I will do with it is up to me, then completely changes our perspective of the things that come up along the way. And this is extra important, because leaders tend to be people who think differently, and they’re, I would describe them as deep thinkers. And sometimes that sword that’s so sharp, and it has discernment, and is very astute about the world. And that’s how you can see what needs to happen. You can use it against yourself, and not be at pause, because you can say, I’m trying, and I’m messing it up. It’s not happening fast enough, you know, the things that Allison Megan are saying, I’m not doing whatever, whatever, but really being at causes to say, Well, gosh, if I could have done it differently before I wouldn’t have. So anything that I try to go back and beat myself up on and emotionally waste a bunch of energy doing that is not at cause that’s an effect of yourself, you’re like internally gaslighting yourself, right, because to have the realization of perspective, and then to deny the AHA, by beating up the old you, you’re in effect, my friend. That’s not a cause. So whether it’s at cause of this is my mayor, and I’m responsible for what I’m seeing in there, there’s one, and then how I do that, and the emotions that I then create as a result, you know, you’re not on the right path. If your emotions are negative about yourself or your life, the majority of the time. So if you’re if you’re feeling bad about yourself guilty fears of Dow, there’s something there for you to look at, from what we’re talking about here, that habit needs a little up level. Because being at cause, essentially says, I choose to cultivate the thoughts that support me being at cause and then motions on that will flow from that are an extension of it. So that is to say, they will be more positive. We don’t believe in toxic positivity. So it’s not like, you know, butterflies are gonna come flying out here, but like, you know, it’s gonna, it’s gonna be within the reality of life. And they will still be predominantly more positive than the shitty negative ones that you’re lying to yourself about. So we can ask, how are we cause for what we do have control over in this situation? And that includes ourselves. So this happened during COVID A lot, right? That that was an experience where people really, you saw it happening in real time. Because you probably remember, right? Everyone was like, Oh, my God, everything’s on lockdown, there’s gonna be a recession, and everybody freaked out, businesses had to close, a bunch of stuff happened, right. And then some, some industries and businesses blew up, like, imagine being zoom during going, you know what I mean? For us, we honestly looked around, we’re like, we have a fight or flight program, we made it $29. And because everybody needed it, put it out there and made a crap ton of money. So the COVID was the event, which is what it is. And we can say that those events, there’s a neutrality to the event that I think we can say like, you know, in some ways, COVID It was definitely bad. But there’s some, in some ways, and depending on people made it mean it was kind of good, which to me is like the experiences from life tend to actually be a little more neutral, but it is our response and the interpretation that gives that meaning. And of course that meaning will be what drives the action that we take from it. And COVID really made that very clear, but any situation in life will be like that and that it can look good or bad depending on how you think about it, but being a cause will be how you skirt around all the problems. Uniform I love this one. He had some really good one liners but Impossible is not a fact. It’s an opinion. Right? Yeah. Actually what that is. So once again, let’s Let’s be clear. And if you notice yourself putting twos everywhere threes, does that? Is it really apt? Cause to, to think so low of yourself? Or are you right? I don’t actually know. You could be right. And you’re added to all across the board. But more often than not, we catch people being like, oh, yeah, I am a piece of crap, right? And then it’s all very reductionistic. This asks you to think more critically, because you really have to be on the nuances, right? When you make blanket statements, it’s not really reflective of what’s happening in their reality. So you got to question whether you’re really a to, or if you just if it’s easier to call yourself a piece of crap and go on with your day. Okay.

 

Megan Blacksmith 

Alright, let’s see in the chat, we have some for Thank you, Brett, for sharing. Where are you scale to one to 10. And if you were to master this area, how could that impact you? Because we are asking you here to be an action taker. That’s why we’re asking you to type in. And we’re asking you to committing to doing something very specific when you leave here. It’s fun to learn to listen, right? See all those books I have on my shelf over there. Y’all heard that before it. Sometimes it’s just shelf development.

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

We actually I think I’ve heard that, but I forgot about that. That’s a quality dad joke, right? Super high value. Yeah.

 

Megan Blacksmith 

Yeah, it’s right up my alley. I love it. So we don’t want the shelf development. We don’t want you to do what I was doing when I was reading the conscious parenting book. And then my kid would come up to me and be like, Mommy, and I be like, stop it. I’m reading can’t just say I’m reading. Like, you share that

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

story. Because honestly, it encompasses so much like you have to have the courage to share it, you have to be authentic to even realize that you have to have the perspective to be like, I can simultaneously read a book about conscious parenting and yellow blanket about bothering me. There. I mean, this is what we mean, like, this is what it looks like we’re doing it real time in front of you to role model, because we are being action takers, and therefore we are asking you to do the exact same thing. This is the outflow. And we can’t forget if we really our identity comes down to hardwiring. And so the faster we can hardwire our brains for that new identity, the faster we get to live out that identity, well, then we want to do the things that hardwires it and what will hardwire your brain making your environment more like what you want? So even a small action, that modifies is every time you see the item? You’re gonna be like, Yeah, I didn’t do that. Yep, I got that. Because of this. You put on the shirt. Oh, yeah, you launder the shirt. Ooh, that’s me. You fold the shirt and you put in your closet. Ooh, yeah, that’s what I’m becoming the thing that changes in your environment are not to be done haphazardly. You zoom out, you go to the big level. And then when you take the action, that action and everything that presents moving forward will then continue to hardwire your brain. That’s so easy, and people won’t do it. Right. You just have to walk past that figuring you buy. That’s not hard. That takes no willpower. But you do have to get the figuring.

 

Megan Blacksmith 

Yes, get it yet. Because the reality is you’re not growing and transforming as fast as you’d like. And you’re not sure what it even looks like. That’s where most people are right now. And that’s why we’re teaching what we’re teaching. Because we know the challenges are often not making enough money, not making any money or you overwork or feel that your work impacts your health, or worry about it. Right. We have a lot of people who have really big things they want to do in the world. And then they have a belief like Yeah, but that will hurt my health. We don’t see it that way, too. Yeah, we actually see our business as a health builder because each time we grow, expand, do new things. We actually are required to learn better tools and better self care and clear old stuff. Because we’re not going to force ourselves into a health crash. So we better get really good. If we want to be leaders, we better get really good at actually knowing what our body needs and listening. Right? You You may over deliver and worry about your clients being happy. So if I was worried about my clients being happy, I would not have been able to sit there uncomfortably and wait for her. She would not have had the breakthrough. Right? I would not have shown up well as a coach, but trust me I left that call and I needed to work on some stuff because I had I felt a full flush. I turn bright red. Everybody who comes in person knows I turned bright red. So I can’t hide it. Right. Yeah, I had some things to work on too because next time I want to be able to I still did the thing where I want to be able to do the thing and have my body even feel safe. Does that make sense?

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

Oh, my goodness, that is so true, right? Because it let’s, let’s break it down just for one second, the over delivering and worrying about it, we have to acknowledge that there’s a habit of insecurity underneath their right to always be proving yourself, you have to be proving it against something. And so there’s an insecurity underlying the I need to look a certain way to then they need to be happy with me so that then I maintain my image of who I want to be right. But, but as hard as it is, it’s kind of like we have to address and heal those insecurities so that we can that’s what standing in our power really means. Right? And so isn’t uncomfortable. Yes. But will you both benefit? Also? Yes. And that’s why it’s actually just a huge blessing that people are mirrors for us, because otherwise it would be very hard to know what to work on. But when it’s sitting right in front of you, and you’re bright red, you’re like, Well, shit.

 

Megan Blacksmith 

I found that, like

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

yellow little bit.

 

Megan Blacksmith 

Yeah. And the last one is you second guessed yourself and feel not good enough. I mean, it is, it’s across the board, the feeling not good enough. So no shame, and that we’re all in this together and our tools for that.

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

Yeah, that’s why we don’t lie. Like we all are having the human experience. And we’re gonna be just as upfront with you guys about our stuff. So the future, what does this look like? It’s literally having because you’ve cultivated the courage to live the life you want, and know the steps to getting yourself there. You can trust yourself, you know, so this, what does this look like charging what you’re actually worth and raising your prices when you need to, actually knowing what your values and needs are, and living the mountain which, which means having the hard conversations, doing the asks making the leaps, changing what needs to be changed, so that your life is unified to be a more accurate reflection of who you really are and who you most want to be. That also means that once you’ve taken care of that side of the street, you get to reach and help more people, right, make a bigger impact in the world, and help the world heal which most leaders kind of fall into the healer category to we’re healing the world. And that may be through dress that may be through food that may be through hell, but healing the world nonetheless, because it needs all of it. And then of course, eventually stepping into and fully embodying becoming a role model and leader for a more loving and more powerful world, right. That’s what it culminates. And as we go, and Lord knows, we struggle through it. And that’s how we get resource and why we harp on resources at the rate that we do, because the struggle is real. And we’re certainly never going to deny that.

 

Megan Blacksmith 

Yeah. So I never thought that I would be a leader. I never thought I would speak to anyone, I couldn’t even stand up and raise my hand to ask a question in a class, or even when my dad would say, hey, everybody share one thing from the day. I would get nervous about that. So when I wanted to go to an 18 day speaking event, my family said really? Is that really what you want to do? And I actually had a really hard time I had to convince my husband that this was a good idea. I had to convince him it was a big investment. You know, it was over $15,000 It was 18 days in December. I have small children. So if you have kids and you’re thinking How the heck did you do that? It was a thing. It was a whole thing. And I had been having I had been kind of struggling like with Am I really living my purpose and I hadn’t been feeling all that amazing. Leading up to it. My husband said to me, he’s like, negative, this isn’t this is for your business. But he said I think you should do something for you. I think what you need right now is something for you. Not this like speak on stage thing. Like you’re always doing things for your business, I think you need something for you. And my intuition told me that this was what I needed. And the reason that this was what I needed was because underneath all those things that I was dealing with with purpose and feeling good with it was having confidence in my choices and having confidence in being fully who I am and what I’m here to do. I did not have that and I did not feel that yet. So going I went to learn to speak, right? But what I left with is calm Confidence, not just about speaking, that’s amazing, but confidence in my body competence in my family, I came back and I had very clear boundaries immediately and some extended family situations. I knew what was okay and what wasn’t. And I was able to just sit there and be quiet and allow it to be awkward. Right, and that confidence shifted into all areas of my life. And that’s why we say, often it’s not, we’re here, and we’re focusing on leaders and business and etc, which is great, because then you can make money from it. But really what happens, the real benefit for me was how that showed up in my life, and how that showed up in my family. Because when I left, you know, mom left for 18 days. And one of the objections I had was leaving my kids for that long, not just leaving them, but my oldest and my husband like to really get into it, and I’m the protector, the leaving and leaving her Can I do that? Like my horrible mom that I left her, I left them around Christmas, I left them for 18 days. Like I was in my stuff about this, and I’m getting calls one weekend from my oldest being like dad’s doing blah, blah, blah, right? I found out she even climbed out her window, to go down the back deck to walk around to not have to go through the kitchen where he was, and I’m like, oh my god, I made a horrible decision. I am a horrible mom. But you know what happened by the time I came back, by the time I got back day 18, I realized that I had actually been stopping the growth of my daughter and stopping the relationship between my daughter and my husband, I had been the in between and not allowing them to actually have a relationship and to work it out. So while I was there learning to use my voice, my daughter finally got to use her voice. She got to say, Hey, Dad, this is how I feel when you do that. She had to say to him, because mom wasn’t there to be the in between. So goosebumps. Thank you, Brett. When we think we’re doing something for ourselves, we’re really doing it for everybody. Shall we go back to the slides, Alex?

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

It’s that there’s so many parallels in my own life. Hopefully you guys are having a Ha’s. You’re, you’re I’m kind of weaving in some struggles, snippets along alumni story, and, you know, with infertility and all sorts of stuff. And it’s always the same. It’s always the the things that seem the scariest and the most. Resistance is always where the greatest healing is for me, because that’s where I’m most fragmented within myself, I have the most dis congruence is in what I want, and how I think about it, and how I’m willing to act and how I show up and all of that. And that’s why it feels so hard, right? That’s why we’re like, don’t look under that rug and not run, we’ve got some stuff. And I did that with my relationship for a long time. I needed to exit, a relationship that I stayed in for a really long time. And it was a similar thing. And I was wondering why all these things that I was working on weren’t happening. And the reality was, I was creating an inner experience by selectively staying in an environment that I knew wasn’t aligned with me. And in moving through that, and cultivating the courage that it took to overcome that then has parlayed into you know, Megan saying, what helps you help the world and is the opposite is also true, what helps the world helps you too. And we, we got to remember that it goes both ways like that. And because because I got to see a lot of mirrors out in the world and people having different experiences. And then I got to decide what I wanted as a result. And unless we choose and engage and these foundational habits, we miss a lot of the opportunities for these big leaps, the transformations where people look at you a couple of years later, and they’re like, Wow, you’re different. You know what I mean? Like that. That’s the because people see it. And so when you’re living that, that’s what you hear. You really do, right? So when we don’t hear it. That’s up to us to decide, is it just not like cooked in an oven? Or maybe is there more for us there? And is there an opportunity to dig even deeper, because of how committed we are to what we actually want to create in the world and for ourselves? It gets better, creating more powerful strategies and resources for yourself is the fastest way to live the life you dream of. In magic, we’ve been talking about that concept from minute to of this call, because this is the truth of what it is. So let’s talk about a model that we like to follow.

 

Megan Blacksmith 

Yeah, okay. So if you look at the bottom right hand side of the model, and I’d love for you as you’re looking at this model to try to figure out where you think you are. So on the bottom right hand side, it’s an untrained, so what will happen here is maybe your could we attract the Whoo, the whoo crowd, and people who care about intuition, which we love. So sometimes in this category, there’ll be people who were heavily tapped into their intuition, like they’re very aware of like, what’s going on what they need. But what they don’t have is the techniques and the skill of like, the specific things and leadership, like one of my mentors, says, he said, Hey, I love that you follow your intuition, and I follow my intuition. But if someone were to hand me like, some eggs and some flour, and some say, go bake a cake, that wouldn’t go very well, right. Like there are some techniques and some skills and some actual frameworks, which is why we have seven steps in our Health Transformation accelerator, right? It’s not that we are overriding intuition, it’s that we can use techniques and skills on top of it, we can use both. And then once we find out what the techniques and skills are, then we use our intuition decide which one actually works best for me, and which one do I want to use when? Okay, so that’s the bottom right is if you have high intuition, but not many skills,

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

the been, you know, reasonably you can use your intuition. Like, if you baked enough cakes, you’d eventually figure it out, because probably someone along the way was the first person to like, throw that together and make it right. But what did we say in the beginning, you’re here to learn how to transform faster. So that’s really we, you know, think what you want about intuition. I’m a huge fan. And yes, it sounds lovely to be like you can figure out everything. But do you want to is the question that you need to ask here.

 

Megan Blacksmith 

Hmm, great point. Okay, and the bottom left is if you’re not using your intuition, and you’re not using your skills, that’s the floundering frustrated, like the I don’t really feel like I’m guidance either I just don’t even have the skills. And if I did, I wouldn’t know which ones to use. The top left is let’s say, we’ve been taught a lot of techniques and skills. So this would be you’ve been given a lot of recipes, but you’ve just forever used the recipe that was told to you by the person, you learn them from in a very robotic way. And when you’re doing this with clients, then you’re not really giving them necessarily, you’re not able to do ebb and flow and go with what they need. And use your intuition of like, Yes, I was trained in this way. But today, I actually think we need to go backwards. Right. So that’s where it becomes a little bit robotic. And people can feel like they as the person as the human on the other side receiving this, we’re being in the the role that you’re leading, or not necessarily being considered.

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

And we’re at for businesses for like, you know, launching and sales and stuff, people will be like, I got a sales call framework, I need to follow the framework. And then here comes a human that doesn’t fit the mold, right. And you robotically deliver that framework, and you don’t make the sale. That’s what it looks like or following a launch plan or whatever, fill in the blank, but it’s all all not getting results.

 

Megan Blacksmith 

Okay, so do any of those three resonate with anybody, let’s hear anybody for robotic, floundering or untrained if you want to type in the chat. And we have kind of I know, I have personally gone through all of these different two. And what we’re going for is the zesty, the zesty leadership are gone for the top right, where we can call on all our techniques or skills and use our intuition to the maximum. So we know that’s when we know at our core that we have the techniques to pull on in any moment. And then we also know what our core will know which ones to use. That’s when you show up and you just don’t really need much of anything. I don’t need my manuals or my books or my scripts when I’m showing up to a client session. Because it’s all in there. I’ve lived it. I’ve done it. I know it works for me. I know it works for the hundreds of clients, right? So you start to just know it and feel it And

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

yeah, situations in your own life that you’re like, Well, that didn’t work for me the standard way, but then I got this, so maybe I’ll try it with them, right. It’s the habit of trusting yourself enough to fire off a strategy even though no one gave you the green light. Just because you you showed it showed up. Are you doing it and so you know it.

 

Megan Blacksmith 

Okay, so some people are saying working your way out of floundering, frustrated somewhere between untrained and leadership, sometimes floundering. Thank you for being so honest. And we love honesty and vulnerability. We share news and people are in the middle. Awesome, awesome. Awesome. It’s super cool. When once we know where we are, we know where we’re trying to go. Right like little GPS. So where are you on the quadrant? That’s what you’ve been typing in. So thank you for sharing. Yep, different quadrants for each area of life. That’s a great point, Megan, this will be different in different contexts.

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

Yeah. So all of those technical skills and intuition as a highlighted foundational resource, we continue to weave the story together, right? If you add strategies and resources for yourself, you’ll accelerate faster. And the path to doing it will be more fun, right? Because what are you saying, as a leader, you are creating the life that you want to live and you’re living at your dream, putting one foot in front of the other. So unless you’re having more fun doing it, you’re definitely not on that path. Or you’re on the path and you’re fighting yourself on it, which is honestly even more painful. Because you’re like, so close and still not there. Right? You still don’t get the results that you know, you’re pretty, like you’re doing all this stuff, you’re doing all the hard work, and you’re not getting the result. That’s why people are so frustrated with that. So you got to move towards more of the feel good as part of this, because leaders care about how they feel. And they ensure that they feel good doing stuff. And when they don’t, they reevaluate, and they ask the difficult questions that sometimes don’t even have the answers yet, because no one’s created it like no one else has figured it out. And that’s why they’re a leader. Right? Yep. All right. Two to 3% of coaches make six figures. It’s a super booming industry. It’s exploded since COVID. I mean, it was already growing, because everyone’s like, yeah, I want to help people heal and transform and create a more palette for Laurel that was already happening. And then we’ll just look at home and zoom happened. So cool. Like, that’s amazing. And people started going back to school and getting more resource stuff. But the reality of it, most people are out there doing the right thing wanting to help people but they don’t benefit. They don’t, they’re not allowing themselves. They’re not creating the experience where they see the impact and it flows back to them and they have get get theirs and parlay that into more power to help the world and get theirs again and and synergistically work with the world to heal themselves and and each other. And so that’s a really low number, we actually hate that. Super, we donate a lot, but I don’t like that.

 

Megan Blacksmith 

We don’t like that. And to add a layer to that I think most most people hear of our ladies having worked with so many women with hormone health, and so many women who stay at home with children, and we’re all about that I’ve got children, I’ve created my business around being able to take a month off or two in the summer with children. We want moms, women, people to have their own income. That is just really important to us. Because when it comes to like investing in your health or something that’s really important in your family, we want you to have the resources to do that. Right. So hard to watch.

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

Yeah, I want to do this experience, I have the I can make money in this way to do it. That’s that because we say time and time again. Honestly, money is one of the easiest problems in life. Because it has answers. Everything else like what you want to do, what your purpose is why you’re even in a body, what you’re gonna do in your family, what your kids will grow up, like, like some of those things don’t have answers. Those are the really hard things. Money’s money is just like an object that we get to learn and get better at creating and managing for ourselves. So in that, yes, we are very money is the proxy. And so we believe people should have money and be able to generate money for themselves. That’s true freedom and true safety. In and of yourself. I got me what else was out there? And then you get to do all the fun stuff and explore and go on adventures. But the adventures are adventures and not challenges because of the foundation that you lay.

 

Megan Blacksmith 

Hmm, I love that. The adventures are ventures not challenges.

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

Yeah, totally. Wow. perpetuated that success in this. Yeah.

 

Megan Blacksmith 

Like it went to the bottom for us out there, but here are the shifts, you’re gonna shift it from the top down the bottom apparently. Like the slide did. I like that. So maybe it’s supposed to go up. That’s funny. Anyway, one of the first things we would love for you to embody to become that person who is okay with with it is changing our beliefs around money. Just be really honest comments zero to 10 Where are you in your beliefs around money. 10 being like, money is amazing, I’m abundant, the world is abundant, it flows to me and zero being like money is evil, I’ll never have it. Where are you 00 to 10. Because there’s a huge reframe here, I had to do a lot of work around money, because I was taught that, like I right in the middle of crystal Awesome. Thank you guys for sharing. Really what money is it’s a tool and it’s it allows you to make a big impact. So I would love for all of you here on the call the people who have big hearts and more wanting to help people to have a lot of the money. I want it to shift into the hands of the people who care about the Earth and care about the well being of other humans and our kids and generations. So if you think is

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

that you are,

 

Megan Blacksmith 

should not want it right or that that somehow makes you an evil person, I want you to think about what you would do with that money, what impact you could make with that money.

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

Because the reality is someone’s going to have that money. And they’re going to do something with it. Right? So it’s there, you’re not speculating anything, you’re not you’re there is nothing that you can block, if you can only attract, right, we can also flip that statement. Because it’s also true to say, the more you impact the world, the more abundance will flow back to you. And that’ll happen in in in a multitude of ways. Because you can have a business and not be getting money through that business and just be getting money from other sources, right? Like the universal take care of that, I promise. So the impact will be because I went out and I served and I held and I showed it for this plays, you get paid for it. You can block it is the trick, and exactly what we’re telling you here today, and what we’ll do in the next coming days, we’re telling you how to not block it. But what happens, isn’t it true. The more clients you have, the more filled up your programs are, the more the more people that you are teaching, then the more money that you’re making, right? That tracks out, that’s just kind of a logical thing. But then we can see money as a thermometer, I want to make impact. So I can look at money neutrally money just tells me what’s happening there. And the impact is what I value, that is what I localized to and that is the prize that I keep my eyes on. And then money works itself out.

 

Megan Blacksmith 

Maybe you think money makes you wanting money makes you greedy. Just know that money, having money really just amplifies who you already are, if you’re really giving, then when you have more money, you’re gonna give more, you’re gonna actually be able to create a whole retreat center or a shelter or whatever, you’re going to go bigger because you were already a giving person. The most simple tool example I love is like the money is a tool with the idea that you can have a knife, that’s also a tool and the knife can be used to create a delicious meal for your family chop up all those vegetables nourish your family, or it can be used to stub your toe, right like it could be used for not so good. What we do with it is all about the person, not the actual thing.

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

Okay, like you we I love we love using money as a focus for perception is projection because how I tip how I purchase things at the store, the decisions that I make when I’m sitting there looking at the hours and comparing stuff, like what are my values, what’s my budget, you know, all those things tell me so much about who I am and it makes money, a really interesting, exciting part of my life rather than something that I am fearing, which is what I used to do. I mean I grew up without running water and you know when I got cold I go hunt the goat like that is not because we come from money. We became what you’re hearing now and what you see us embodying that all was just completely created by us and the world helping us out And so that the those interactions that make money a neutral resource that you learn from, really aid you in becoming the leader that you want to be. And then as a result of that you make more

 

Megan Blacksmith 

money. Which is number two? Yeah. That’s entity comes first, right? Firstly, you have to be the person that believes they are a successful leader that the believes they have success that believes they have abundance, and then how would you? What would you do? And how would you act? If you were that person, if you were going to be the identity of that person, then you will have what you want. So be do have right you often what we’re trying to do is, first of all, when I have the money, then I’ll start to go do the things that people with money do. And then I’ll tip better. And then I’ll start to give back 10% Because then I’ll be successful. It doesn’t work like that. Sure, don’t, is the other way around. It can be hard to wrap our heads around at first because we’re like, but I’m not that. You that You get to be at first.

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

And that’s the cool part. Habits are so simple, right? People really struggle with habits. Because habits are easy. Because what’s true is that we do who we are, right? So if you’re a runner, you have running shoes and you run. If you’re a smoker, you woke up and you’ve had a cigarette, if you’re a nonsmoker, you didn’t think about how not having cigarettes, you just went about your day and didn’t even worry about it. Right? We act like who we are. So that’s why when you’re like, I will get the money first and then the then I’ll act like a good tipper, or whatever it is, then we’re essentially saying I’m unwilling to put in I’m unwilling to experience that, right? It’s not important enough to me, because it has to be convenient and asked to show up, and then I’ll do it. But if that was the case, everyone would do it. And it wouldn’t be hard. And we wouldn’t be teaching on this, right? So you’re asked to do it, because only some people will do it. And that’s how you’ll differentiate yourself. That is how you will decide what kind of life you’re going to have.

 

Megan Blacksmith 

Right? If you’re waiting to get all your ducks in a row, right? Once I have everything lined up, then I’ll do the successful things. Just keep in mind, has anybody seen what happens with ducks, and when the mama duck when it’s time to go? What happens? What happens is mama duck steps up and says it’s time to go and then everybody follows. Because she’s the leader. If mama duck was like, I’m just gonna wait till all my ducks are getting in a row. They sit over here. They don’t get in a row. They got in a row because she stepped up and she wasn’t the leader. She took the action first, right so we’re wait when we’re waiting. It’s just it’s just backwards from what we actually want that we’re gonna be the moment that we’re gonna step up. And we’re gonna lead right into number three is acting from authenticity. Yes. Does a mama duck Bella?

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

Yeah, that’s great. Because you do watch baby ducks. And it’s a free for all. It’s like watching like, little kids play soccer. You know? Yeah. And that’s what if your life feels like that, you know, if it’s just like a bunch of five year olds running around a field chasing the ball, like whatever, whatever the problem does. Your is is the soccer ball and all your thoughts and emotions are the five year old like, that’s what you’ll feel like so if that’s you did go into parasympathetic hardware that bad boy in and then you know, one foot in front of the others, but it looks like you don’t know my water. It doesn’t all explode out of your cup like that all at once. Like I beautifully just illustrated. Yeah, okay. I from Authenticity. Authenticity is the key to key to healing your fragmentation. So everything that you’re torn everything that you are broken up about anything that you second guess doubt wonder if you’re messed up anything that you’re conflicted about any inner fights that you have with yourself anywhere, you don’t feel that enough, are all just parts of you locked behind walls that have a limited perspective of who you really are, right? So you get into your low self worth. Everything was bleak. That’s just you’re down in that you’re walking around between, you know, for brick walls, and you’re just in the room, and then you pop into another thing. Here’s how I feel about money and love. And you’re in that room, right? And so that’s the fragmentation as it plays out. What is the antidote of them? It’s authenticity because authenticity post on the walls, it says, I can see, I can acknowledge that. Yeah, I do feel this way about money that is authentic to me. And I’m gonna let myself validate that experience. The walls just came crumbling down, because you just overcame you open the door, that perspective that I’m a piece of crap because they don’t make enough money, then is, is a lie, right? Because that’s not all of who you are. You’re not even if someone said like, well, how are you as a friend, and you’re like, actually, I’m a great friend, right? You are aligned. And that splits your energy, because you both have to be the good friend, and then work to deny being the good friend so that you can make your story seem authentic about money. Do you see how that works? So actually just saying, This is how I feel about it. And this is what it is, gets you out of a lot of problems that you’re stuck in, and really takes the gas out of the like hamster wheel. It’ll just collapse all of that. And you’ll be able to say, Okay, I’m not where exactly where I want to be with money. But man, do I, I am a good kosher. I do know, people need help with food. People need help with their mindset, you know, whatever it is that you’re doing people at my church need this people are my kids school needs this, it doesn’t matter. But as you begin to acknowledge those things, and begin to see yourself moving forward, then authentically, you will prove to yourself and have evidence that you are in fact who you say you are, and your brain will hardwire itself for that. So that’s why we love the messy emotion. We love the acknowledgement of who I actually believe this thing I’m not real proud of. Because once you say those things, they’re all fixable. They’re all workable. They all didn’t have solutions, right? mindset stuff. They’re like 1,000,010 things. We certify people in four different categories for that, right? Like, that’s four different ways that you can get an each of those has like 37 million ways to help them with resources. So that’s one, you can do emotional processing with people somatic work, there’s a million things there, there can be parasympathetic, healing, physical body stuff, like, all those things have solutions. What doesn’t have a solution is saying, I’m in pain from, you know, not not living the life I want. But let me slap on a happy face and just follow some sort of thing that I’m being told to do. Right? That’s exhausting. And you know it because you feel exhausted. And the thoughts and emotions that follow are not that great. And not that empowering, even if they’re good, like, yeah, sure, I’ll do that thing. I mean, are you really seeing yourself as like, I’m in charge your I am powerful, I am creating the life I want and probably not. So in that sense, then we want to put our energy currency into the most powerful path, right? What do we actually want to create. And so the messiness, and the acknowledgement of things is, is one of the most transformative habits that we can have, that will accelerate our life. Just putting the bullshit on the line to yourself, you’ll change really, really fast. And you’ll be amazed at how quickly and easily you did it like you didn’t have to think about it, you just stepped into being that person. And that’s really, because you’re gonna use the authenticity to accurately match the resources that you already have, use them better, and you’ll actually make progress. So that’s what that path looks like. And authenticity is a muscle that you flex, it’s not really it’s not something that you can think about, because it’s scary every time. Like I have an affirmation that I have a track that I create, and there’ll be one of the bonuses so when we’re opening our Health Transformation accelerator to keep an eye out for I’ll be teaching a master class about how to record your own affirmations that your brain actually believes and that hardwires your brain into action. But the I have my tract is and one of them is whenever I feel doubt, I know that I’m being courageous right now. Because that’s, I mean, those are the opportunities that I choose to create in my life. And so when I feel down I’m always like, Oh, this is this. This is the squeeze. You know, this is the stretch is because I’m choosing to do things differently and that feels uncomfortable to me, but every Time, you know, and I think of that affirmation. And I just think, well, how cool that I’m, like, still doing it like, that’s, I don’t really have the self confidence that I’m like, oh, it’s because I look good or because I am the best or because I’m the only one that does it. Really, my confidence is just like, not proven to myself, and it doesn’t really look like proving it to anybody else. It’s very kind of no frills. And that’s different than what other people think about confidence. But that version is the one that you don’t have to protect yourself from, it’s not really threatened, it’s not vulnerable, you don’t need to have insecurity about it, you’ve already lived it. So what are you going to say? You know, it’s hard to deny that.

 

Megan Blacksmith 

That’s awesome. You all so it’s really hard to translate from in person audience to you know, online, although I have to say this group, you all have been amazing in those you watching replay to the comments here are on fire, Stella said the mama duck also doesn’t let words or comments soak into her feathers either. Oh, that’s good. A lot of amazing, amazing sharing here. So thank you. And the question now is, are you really being who you want to be? Based on what Dr. Alex just said, just want you to go internal for a second? Are you really being who you want to be? Now,

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

it’s normal for people to feel triggered by that. Because let’s be honest, this is a different way of thinking. So when you the more you get exposed to it, especially the first time but even when you’re hitting deeper layers, it can be like, Whoa, as big know, the thanks for bringing that up, right. And if you don’t ask, you won’t find the resources to resolve it. So that’s the, it’s the courage to be authentic, we always say it like that, right? And we say it like that, because that’s the truth. You have to have the courage to be authentic. And you will as you flex that muscle and you prove it to yourself, you’ll be more and more courageous and therefore more and more authentic. And you will your life will look more aligned, more congruent, and you’ll like who you are. So it’s okay, if the answer’s no. And in fact, if you haven’t liked the results that you’re getting, and they’re not fast enough, and you’re not making them enough money, thank God, you found it, so that you can actually keep it, keep it moving and get yourself the results. So cool. Now you have a bunch of stuff to up level, and then you get the thing. That’s exactly what it looked like for us. But my answer was no. And that’s why I’m saying that.

 

Megan Blacksmith 

Then you get to ask Are you clear how your actions support your highest needs and values? And do you like yourself? That it people like

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

themselves when their actions align with their highest needs and values? Because that is to say I’m congruent? I am who I say that I am even. So, that is the question. Do you like yourself?

 

Megan Blacksmith 

Jennifer said just begun this journey, probably week, two major changes that are so uncomfortable, we are here for it.

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

Oh my gosh, I hear you and congratulations and nice job. And like kudos to you. Honestly, this is what it looks like embrace the messy for now. Because it means you’re doing it. Like if you’re cleaning out a closet and you don’t first have a bunch of crap out you’re not really cleaning out the closet. So don’t worry about the crap, you’ll work on it. And then you’ll organize the closet and it will be fine. So give yourself grace and time to have that experience. Two weeks is nothing we’ve been on for decades. Yes, yes, yes.

 

Megan Blacksmith 

Okay, we want to hear from you type in the chat. So what has been most valuable we want the takeaways we want the AHA because we want to hear what you’re going to do. This is your commitment. So today, it was really about setting the foundation for the next two trainings. So this was really important. We’re glad that you’re here. We’re glad you’re still listening, if you’re at the replay. Many people like to listen to this over and over. This is the kind of thing that sinks in. So if you have time before the next training, which will be Tuesday next week, I suggest you listen again, you will hear it differently. You’ll hear the thing, all the little nuggets that you missed the first time and for those of you who are ready to put yourself in a room with more leaders, which is kind of which is how we’ve really accelerated ourselves in 30 minutes, we have a VIP upgrade option where you can come to a smaller group setting on that. So if you have not already joined VIP, please go ahead and you can type in help with VIP Alexus can get you the link or just reach out to us and we’re going to be doing that in 30 minutes. Okay, lots of action takers perception projection. Awesome, awesome.