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Season 17, Episode 9- Sticking with Habits for Good - Zesty Ginger
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Dr. Alex and Megan share their takeaways from the Compassionate Habit in-person training event that they did in Virginia Beach in January. In this episode, they talk about the benefits of sharing what is going on in your life, how you can get the results you want in life and putting your energy towards what you want in order for amazing things to happen in your life. 

 
 
 

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Megan Blacksmith 

Hello there, everybody. Welcome to the podcast, Megan here. And Dr. Alex. Hi. We’re excited to have you here and to dig into a very fun topic and some amazing takeaways. So I think recently, we all have been around, you got to hear about us having a, an amazing in person event, the Compassionate habit training event that we did in Virginia Beach in January. And we have so many good takeaways from the community, how they showed up what it’s like to be a leader, what it’s like to run something like this, what people were learning and what the habit takeaways were, that we thought we would just share our biggest our favorite aha was that the mindset shifts that were happening, the changes that are happening for people, and for all you who are listening, who are leaders and practitioners and coaches also to be listening along for how to really help people facilitate transformation and how to get it in your own life. So the cool thing, it was so fun, wasn’t it, Alex?

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

Oh, my gosh, it was so much fun. We had I, I expected to have a lot of fun. And then had even more fun than that.

 

Megan Blacksmith 

Agreed, agreed, saying so it was met our expectations and more. And one of the amazing reasons that it met our expectations was because of who showed up and how they showed up. Now, I know you all are a fabulous community. And we know that. And now we have experienced this in real time because the group of women who showed up, they really were the best if you were there, thank you for being there, it was totally the level of interacting the level of being all in the level of vulnerability right from the get go. Lots of people have never met each other before. Some of them even had just found us like very new to listening to the podcast. Some had been around a long time and had been in lots of different groups. So it was so cool to have this in person experience and just bringing it all together. One of the coolest things for me personally, to experience was that when people are in person, and they’re right in front of you, and you can feel their energy, and you can hear their stories, we got so much feedback, so much quick feedback that we are able to see like where our message is really helping, how we can better explain and describe the tools and techniques. So we’re always looking to improve them, we’re always looking to make them more applicable. Like as you hear from us, it’s cool to know things. It’s much cooler when we can apply them in our life and really live them. So from the beginning, we asked all the participants and we modeled this and shared our settler selves that the idea of really tooting your own horn. And we actually had a whole hand motion and a tutus, where we asked people to when anyone had a win, or was sharing about themselves sharing about someone else that we would encourage this anchoring. Listen, we’d it was fun, we would laugh of tooting your own horn because in society in general, this idea of tooting your own horn, is looked down upon which what then happens is people aren’t actually sharing their gifts, they aren’t actually sharing what’s on their mind. They’re not sharing what they’re good at. They’re not even letting someone know that’s maybe sitting right next to them that they have a resource that that can help that person because they’re afraid of looking pushy, or they’re afraid of just not shining the right like that whole belief and fear that if we shine too much someone people will try to take us down. I know that’s been a big one that I’ve personally had to work through. Same. Same for Dr. Alex. So as we secure this in the group, this is a safe space. And we want you to toot your horn. So we’re asking you, that of you as well here on the podcast today to share your wins with us. We want to hear your wins. When we hear wins. Our brain says hey, that can happen for us too. And we get excited. So if you’re listening to this, I’d love for you to send us a DM on Instagram. We’re at zesty underscore ginger and share us your wins. share us your biggest takeaway from the end of this tag us tag us in your stories tag us in your posts. We want to celebrate your wins with you. We want to help hold you accountable for those of you who are implementing new habits. Because as you’ll hear, the theme here is all about success habits. What do successful people do? What do coaches do? What do practitioners do? What do leaders do whether you’re leading your household whether you’re leading a company, there are patterns and we get to pull them out and tell you what these amazing people have discovered there are highs so that you can also implement them. Cool.

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

Yeah. Because there’s so many benefits to really having people share what is going on. Because as humans, we are trying to make our lives the best that they can be. And then often, those of us who put ourselves in that position are then wanting to impact positively other people. And the ability to find a community and to find other people to interface with who are willing to do this deeper work. And to come together. That was actually one of the one of my favorite aha was to witness during it was this concept that, well, authenticity and vulnerability can feel hard, the actual payout that you get is so worth it, that the cost becomes negligible to the benefit that you get at the end of it, which is that once we accurately share what’s going on and say, here’s where I’m struggling, then there’s also other people on the other end, who say, Oh, hey, I was there where you are. And you can totally overcome this. And here are the steps. Here’s the how, this is what I did, and how does that jive with you. And then that person gets to say, Oh, I love that I love eight out of 10 of these things, two of them are not going to work for me. And I get to bring in my own authenticity. And as long as I have the courage to do that, I can really make it my own, and I can make it work for me. And then the best thing after that is that then you’re more likely to get the results that you’re going for. So not only does it feel better, but you actually get the resources to become the person that you say you want to be. And live the kind of life experience you get to experience. So it’s really such an amazing AHA and, and a, essentially, for me, it feels like that’s the crux of the story for a lot of people, right? It’s just the ability to say who I am going to be honest about what’s happening. And with that, honestly, I get to really see where the needs are. And then there are resources, and other people have already dealt with this. And I’m up and running. It’s such a cool thing to witness. which then brings me to another I think my second favorite Aha, that that we got to witness is just the awareness where people going, oh my gosh, even if I feel like I’ve tried everything already, with this edition of let’s all stop pretending and actually say it how it is the resources never end, there is no such thing as trying out, you know, everything and then not succeeding, it literally is easy. Just find the resources that are out there and rinse and repeat until you get what you want. And that Aha to go from the powerlessness of, Oh, I’ve tried everything that feels like garbage, to saying that there are resources upon resources upon resources that I’ve never even heard of. That really is where as some true power lies, and it was so fun to see the it’s not just the A ha, that’s fun to watch. It’s what it does to each person’s energy, when when you watch that power, come back to somebody. And the way that then you see it in their speech, and their body language, the way they stand up straighter the way that they even wear their clothes, right. It’s not like they change but the way that you embody the things that you’re wearing, then transform as well. And all that happened was an inner switch that said, oh, there’s possibility. And then a bunch of kind of the manifestation of that thought, is really, really amazing to watch. And everybody gets to watch it with. So that’s why in a group, it’s so empowering to be there because you see it in real time. And because it’s just a thought that you try it on and liked. Everybody knows, I could do that too. Like right now I could change and I could become someone completely different leaving this room.And of course, that is why we do all of this. Because it’s that fun.

 

Megan Blacksmith 

And not every community is like that because I remember being in a community before where as I have really changed and Dr. Alex and I focus a lot on our words and what we say and focusing on our wins and you know, tooting our own horn and sharing what we are good at versus all the things are not me. I’ve been in a place where I’ve felt cut down from sharing too much or being too big and It means that programming can then lead to stopping to share. And so as we’re kind of rebuilding this community with the foundation that we will encourage you to share, we will, we will celebrate with you, when you share, we will be there with you, when you share versus, oh, view, if you’ve got a good, I’m going to try to take you down, I’m gonna try to take your resources. It’s a very, it’s a very different connection. And we’ve seen that and we’ve, we now are seeing the cool thing about being in person with you all that were there is that we’ll get choked up, because this was a who was just so cool to see and feel the transformation that had happened from the women, we have a group of women who came to our last seven day in person training, and a lot of them were there that joined us in January as well, just to support us, we had six beautiful ladies who came just to support us who’d been in our programs before. And what I found out in person was that they had such a life changing experience from our seven day training, that the whole group at the training, have matching bracelets. And these bracelets have on one side that has the coordinates the longitude and latitude of the training location. And on the other side, it has the date of the training. And I was like, wait, what, oh, my gosh, how did I not know about this, this is the fact that the way they bonded, they talk every day still in a group chat. And they call themselves a circle of possibility. They are there to help each other and support each other. And I watch this on social media, they’re all growing businesses, and they’re all supporting each other. They’re all I’m saying, I do this, well, you do that? Well, I’ll refer this you helped me with that. They’re helping each other clear the limiting beliefs that came up after the training, they are in it, and helping in a way, right this. The idea that, you know, the rising tide lifts all ships versus like, we have to compete. And it was so cool to see the ripple effect of that in person. And it really lit a fire for Dr. Alex and I as to why we do this. And what that can then mean in a community because they’re now they’re now helping you and supporting each other way beyond our training. And I’m probably are always well, I still have people I’m connected with from trainings I did 10 years ago.

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

And that’s such a drastic difference from where we individually came from. And and that was, you know, made the list of our favorite aha was to witness from the training is that we felt incredibly alone. Before we found each other before we found this work before we found the concept of creating the community that you want to be a part of just the same way that you create the identity of who you are gonna be the way that you want to and and to see the power in finding like minded community that does uplift you and is focused on resources and focused on staying in the power of what am I creating? Yes, we all have to respond to life doing its thing. But that is not the focus in groups like this, right. And that’s why they feel so empowering. And that’s why they are so empowering. And to be supported by that is just a different feeling of it’s not the I’m free floating out in the world. And I hope that someone can catch me when I have a hard time or here’s my struggle, but I have to live it and struggle through it alone. To really truly know that’s not the case, there is a different level in that safety in the body, there’s a different level of the need for fight or flight. Right, these things become their own medicine. And this is why a magnet and I will again, again and again kind of harp on the more resources you have, the brighter your net, the less you need the 15 supplements, right? Because if you’re getting all of your fight or flight Enos out of the way through taking pills that that looks like a certain thing. But when you feel safe in your own community in your own space in your own body. There’s fewer supplements that people need, right and so all of these things become incredibly powerful. And they are also they feel so good, right? There’s a difference to laughing and a group of women and feeling safe and loved. Versus I’m standing in the kitchen and I’m cooking myself my third organic meal and doing the dishes after by myself alone. Struggling with my health can decision, right? Like, yes, they’re all healing. But the question is, how does it feel executing on it right? And to watch the people come in feeling alone and struggling with certain in their business and their health or their clients health, things like that, then to see that, with one decision to overcome massive components of those big problems, is such a fun, aha. Right? It really takes it to what’s the lever I press on? That gets me the most amount of results? Not? How do I spend my wheels and lose a bunch of energy doing this?

 

Megan Blacksmith 

Yeah, absolutely. The for those of you listening who didn’t get to join us in person, we have an our, we’ve created an online training that will be coming. And we are going to as closely mimic just the the takeaways in the container and the ideas, because one of the coolest things that we’ll see about any container, whether it’s seven day, what we do, or this day and a half, or when we’re doing for people who actually show up continuously when we do like, you know, three part trainings like like is coming up, we’re going to do success habits, well, those containers can allow you to see your patterns and your habits and push up against your current boundary and the way things are. So just coming into that container. So for some people they had, they had to realize, oh, it was really hard for me to get away from my family for a day and a half, or I have beliefs around leaving or travel or am I worthy of doing something that’s for me, it’s on a weekend, we were amazed by the amount of people who flew in this event. I was thinking, Oh, the great, I live in Virginia Beach, we’ll do this local thing. And what turned out was 25 women, we have people from Portland, and Seattle, and California flew in from Texas, like all over because these, they were willing and ready to then work through those beliefs of like, I can do something for me,which is huge.

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. The I think that what we’re really seeing in real time is a lot of people realizing, Oh, I’ve been playing a little small with the I’ve kind of gotten to the habit of thinking in a certain way of this is what’s possible for me. And it’s fascinating. The last the last couple of years, just the way the world has been going is that I think we’ve all been challenged to do that. And then to further watch the people that have really made the choice to say, yes, actually, I’m going, you know, I didn’t really enjoy this way of doing this before anyways, and now that the world has changed, I’m committed to doing things differently. And I’m committed to living differently. And that’s super cool. Because the ripple of the ripple effect of that is so massive, and that people are, when we say playing small, it’s, it ends up having the choice to stay in this, you know, security of this job that I hate is starting to weigh on me and the cost of that my in my awareness is higher than the security that I’m getting, because I’m deeply unhappy every single day. And the security fear is kind of starting to look a little bit less than scary and in response to that, right. And so at some point, then we get to make the decision and say, Oh, this is a kind of more of my commitment to feeling small and the security, but my desire, my passion, and the things that I will accomplish in the world are actually greater than that. And I’m more committed to those things than the other one. And, and people. It’s amazing. And we’ve seen it in ourselves. And we’ve seen it in other people is that often people will talk like, oh, yeah, I’ll do that thing in a year, I’ll do that thing in five years. I’ll do it in 10. And it’s one decision ends up speeding up the whole timeline. So instead of something else having to come in and make the environment such that you can do it and you have the allowance and whatever, instead of people just say, Oh, wait, I get to just decide it, I get to do it, and I get to move forward. And then when they do the confidence and the the feeling of security again, to make a decision, live it and then feel the confidence from it as a confidence that can’t be shaken anymore. Right? And so to the possibility of playing small then is no longer an option because you have fundamentally became a different person. And so though the These small things that we’re listing out, are just actually statements. But to truly integrate them will change your whole life, whether you start with one or the other, it’s almost like any alcohol gets you there. And that’s one of the most fun things for us to get to witness. Because we see that play out time and time again, and people have a good time doing it. And you know, that that’s just more fun on top of fun, no complaints there from us.

 

Megan Blacksmith 

We shared our personal stories at the event. And one small, small piece of what I shared was how I, you know, I went to college for engineering, mechanical engineering, and I did that for 10 years out of school. And then that’s when I found this whole world of holistic health and functional medicine. And I wanted so badly to be in it. It’s it lit me up, I was so excited about it. And every part of my body is like you, you can’t do that. Megan, like you went to school for five years for this engineering degree. Like, that’s a good steady job. That’s what your family wants you to do. You have benefits. You have a kid, this was the plan, there was so many things that came up for me even family being like, oh, small businesses are hard, oh, you can’t charge that much. You won’t make any money, you won’t be successful. There was thing after thing after thing of leaving this world that was conventionally I’ll say successful, right? I was I was doing well for myself, I was in a good, good position. And I also remember even thinking like, Well, I’ll start doing this coaching thing on the side. And I said to a friend, I was like, Well, I’m never going to do like, I’m not going to, like have a blog or like podcast, or do you know, say things online or out that I just want to I just want to help people. And I was so afraid. And I didn’t even know I was afraid. I just that was the story I was telling myself was that? No, I don’t want to do any of that. Because I mean, why would I need or want to do that? I I’m just going to coach a bunch of people? Well, turns out.

 

Megan Blacksmith 

One was, it turns out, yes, those people need to actually trust you and feel that you can hold the container for them into someone just asked me in a podcast interview where I feel at home. And I started to realize like how? Well both of us, I’ll speak for you to drown because I know but we’re both real. So at home, on the stage, whether it’s podcasting or hosting these events, we now have so fully stepped into this role, and what we want to share, and we’ve seen how fast it works, that we do feel it is our job in our duty to help the people who are there who are almost there who want to be there who are ready to go to the next level. We’re ready, we’re ready to bring you we’re ready to push you even if that’s what it takes. We’re ready to push up against beliefs because that those five, you know, the people I said that all had those bracelets, I know for a fact. And they’d be okay with me saying this. I know for a fact that a good amount of them. Really were said they were not ready and didn’t want will they want to do they were not ready to come to the training that they did. And it took a couple of hard conversations of asking them why they’re waiting what they really wanted, when they thought they would be ready. And we push them multiple of them. And they’ve said to me, I wouldn’t have come if you hadn’t had that hard conversation. They wouldn’t have come, they wouldn’t have formed the circle of possibility and have the bracelets right this, we can now see the downside, the ripple effect, which I think it just makes it now even a stronger passion of getting our message clear so that people who are ready and people who are sick of doing the same things and saying they’re gonna start a habit tomorrow, and then tomorrow, and then tomorrow and tomorrow never comes.

 

 

We’re here like,

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

you know, this year was like last year, it’s just a little bit different a little bit better, you made a little bit more money and your relation got a little bit better like it, it can go so much faster and more powerfully than just eking out slightly incremental improvements in life. We’re just built for greater than that. There’s more to life than that experience. And so, you know, it’s an interesting thing because we we have embraced our authenticity to be we’re in the position where we see the true love for other people as expressed when we help them. And that means that sometimes you do have to push people which, as recovering people pleasers, we used to just never have the courage to do that. And then people would just not change and then not get help, right. And so while we told ourselves the story at the time that that we were being nice, we actually now understand how much more empowering is just to help people no matter what it takes, right. And at the same time, it’s really cool, because we can’t really even push anybody that hasn’t raised their hand and said, I want to change and I am committed to this transformation, because I have more to become and I have more to accomplish in this world, right? Because those are the kinds of people that when you push them, they run with it. Right? The decision to say, even though I don’t feel ready, even though I’m scared, I’m still gonna put one foot in front of the other, and with guidance, and with help allow myself to be moved in that direction. And so for each individual person, it’s such a cool thing that when you’re ready, even if you’re scared, that’s all you need. Because there’s resources and tools and people like us who are just sitting here wanting to help, right, we’ve raised our hand too, and said, who is out there that wants this. And so it is a very, that’s why we talk about community, that’s why we talk about that kind of thing is because we’re really coming together all of us. And we all get to be more of who we really are. And in doing so help each other out. So everything that we do, it gets filtered through the is this a win win, win, win for us win for them win for the world. And when that is your filter, and you have the people that are willing to do it, well, then I don’t really you know, I worry about the world, but I worry about it differently than I used to in the past. Because I quite frankly, know that the people who are going to create that new world, I can go look them in the eyes, they exist. And they tell me every day what they’re doing, and they I see them posting and I see them creating podcasts, and I see them doing the hard work out there. So like, I don’t really worry about it anymore. I mean, sure, I have a lot to do and to accomplish that. And we all do. But I, I don’t worry about it, because I’m willing to create it. And so are a bunch of other people. And that level of living feels so much different than the lack the powerlessness all the stuff that I and you know, I can speak for Megan on this one, too. We used to feel so much of and it didn’t really take that many decisions to change that all around. It was just these aha moments that we thought and ran with. And

 

Megan Blacksmith 

that magic that happens when people do step into that we had we have messages from people after the training, like no one completely switched, switched careers, quit a job and moved into something different. I know once like oh, I just had magically had an amazing podcast interview lineup the day I left, right, not even necessarily doing or changing. But when we put our energy towards what we want, we knew we all really focused we focused on and we wrote down goals we want amazing things open up and we see we see this magic happen too often to pretend it’s not

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

intentional. And intentional creation.

 

Megan Blacksmith 

Yeah. Are there any other has or things you wanted to share that now and

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

I think that was it was just really really, really wanting people to come experience the online version of this because we got to take the best of the in person and distill it into an online version. Because we know sometimes travel isn’t possible. Sometimes there’s things that come up sometimes it’s just, you know, that season a life and we totally get that. But this is really for if you are listening to this and you’re like that all sounds great. Like that is that’s what I’m craving. That’s how I want to feel in life. Then come sign up for the our three part series coming up. And because we’re literally going to tell you exactly how the people that we just told you about do it. It’s a rinse and repeat process. This is not something that you have to hodgepodge it’s not something you have to figure out from scratch. It’s not a mystery on how this works. Transformation is something that we know that how to So the three part series is going to tell you exactly how to do that.

 

Megan Blacksmith 

Beautiful. So we know that one of our messages is that we’re here to do things differently. And we want you to be empowered to do things differently to in an unconventional way. And, and that’s okay. And not only Okay, that is amazing and your superpower. So if you are like me, when I was maybe in first or second grade, I went to a friend’s house. And we were trying to come up with something fun to do. And I said, I know what we’ll do. Let’s hang cookies from the fan. So I’d strings around cookies, hung them from the band. And then we were going to turn the fan on and put our hands behind our back and try to eat the cookies. Oh, have the strength.

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

I can see you doing this today maybe.

 

Megan Blacksmith 

And I can still remember my friends saying to me, Megan, hanging cookies from the friend like, this is not a good idea. This is not okay, no one’s gonna be okay with this. And it was messy. The cookies didn’t fly. And it ended it sometimes on the base. And it was totally different, right? It was not conventional. It was not what you’re supposed to do with a fan. It’s not what you’re supposed to do with cookies. And we had the most amazing time, I will remember that forever. And this became our game, this became our thing. So if you’re the person who’s like, I don’t want to do the conventional thing I don’t want to do I don’t want to force new habits, I want to be successful, but in a different way. I want to be able to hang cookies from the fan, I want to do something different than we are here to share with you the things that have worked the things that have worked for us in creating that. And it’s not our plan that will give you or it’s just a way of thinking it’s how it’s how to think about it so that you can you can create your your own coffee fan. Yeah.

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

Best segue ever. But yeah, right. It’s the we’re the transformation of becoming your own leader. So it’s never going to be us telling you what to do. And it never should be right where most of us are due to stop playing the game that sounds like tell me the steps. And then I’ll do it so that my life can look like yours. Right? It’s time to just figure out what your life looks like your best life your most aligned self to at the end of the line, you know, say, hey, this was a good ride. I’m proud of what I did. I’m proud of who I was. Right? That’s the goal. It’s a very simple one.

 

Megan Blacksmith 

Alright, so February 16, will be the first of the three parts. So come on and grab the link in the show notes success habits for coaches, practitioners and leaders who want to get faster results. And we’d love for you to make more money. That’d be good. I see that.

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

Well, right? Because let’s let’s just have a little reminder about money. Sorry, Maggie, I’m gonna hijack this. All good. Right? The, the focus, okay. The reason that that is a secondary thing is that we have to remember when we positively impact people, and we help them transactions happen, right? So the when we create businesses, when we create coaching packages, when we function is that money does not become something that’s the focus money is the thermometer of how the health of everything else that’s going on, right? How does it feel? Do you feel compensated? Do you feel lit up by what you do? Do? Are you willing to go out there and tell people, Hey, I got something good, I can help you. And then you actually do, right. And so with money, we get to reclaim it as a really powerful thing. That when I say when, when I am most aligned, it also means that I get to be financially stable. I get to have what I need. Because part of taking care of myself is ensuring that I have what I need, right. Part of being a leader is making sure that you get to do what you want to do. Making sure you can go on the trip and pay for this stuff. And getting to reclaim that instead of money being something scary or taboo or to feel achy, about to completely switch that around and say cool, I get to make money because I’m a great person and I help other people. Oh,that’s a good feeling.

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

That’s a really powerful way to think about money. And so if if any parts of that are sounding like not your reality, come on over,because the switch is fun. And it doesn’t take very long. You can have both. You can have both. It’s true. Let’s do both. All right.

 

Megan Blacksmith 

All right to see you there, you’ll see a bunch of different options. You’ll see all the dates and times you’ll see there’s a group to join you’ll see there’s a workbook you’ll see that there may be secret bonuses, I don’t know.

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

Maybe

 

Megan Blacksmith 

even a VIP upgrade for those of you who want to actually work through some processes, dropping beliefs, adding in things we want having a private q&a, then that’s the place to be if you want the closest to the event we just had I’d definitely say join the VIP upgrade. Either way we would love to see you all there please grab a friend bring a friend have an accountability buddy plan on doing them all being there at all the sessions if you can obviously replays will be available but for those of you who’ve done our trainings like this before the real time interacting with each other making those connections it’s where that

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

yeah, and the the access the lifetime access to it is for the VIPs for the replays just a

 

Megan Blacksmith 

little note on that. Great points you will have until Sunday to binge watch them if you’re not VIP, otherwise you can keep them for our VIPs Yep, yeah. And we will see you in there. So come on over. All right. See you the