In today’s episode of The Zesty Ginger Podcast, Dr. Alex talks about understanding masculine and feminine at its core, the power of masculine directive energy in the feminine, and how the masculine shines in decision-making.
She also talks about the art of negotiation, what masculine energy is, and what masculine energy feels like.
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Dr. Alex Golden
Hello, everybody, Dr. Alex here. Welcome. Welcome to the podcast. So glad to have you. I wanted to start off the podcast episode by inviting you to our upcoming August event in Dallas. It is August 23, and 24th. It is the habit transformation accelerator. A lot of people want to change their habits, they understand a lot of times what they need to be doing and what they want to be doing the rub, though, is that they often don’t find that they are behaving in the way that they are saying that they want to be. So that’s what we help with. If you are a coach, leader practitioner who is committed to helping the world helping people change, helping people become more authentic to who they are, help them heal, help them learn to help them transform, then this event is for you to reach out to us if you have any questions, otherwise, there will be a link in the show notes. And we’d love to have you. Okay, so besides that, though, let’s start our podcast about what is masculine, we covered what is feminine already. And so we’re gonna talk about the feminine counterpart, the masculine today. And I really, I really love these two discussions because the understanding of masculine and feminine, at its core like this, is just so helpful from the get-go. Even just understanding these two dynamics alone. And the two different flavors or archetypes of these energies, we get to bring a lot of awareness to ourselves. And just like we have established in the other recordings, these are energies, right? This is not about gender, sexuality, or anything like that, but the predominant or underlying energies that people have within themselves. And so, there are humans then, that are predominantly masculine, and their energies, of course, still have their own feminine balance within themselves. But they feel more at home and at ease and more aligned with predominantly masculine energy. So last time, when we were talking about the feminine, we talked about the earth. And then we also talked about the moon, right, so feminine energies are represented in nature. And those are just two examples. Of course, there’s feminine energy all over the place in nature. But the reason that we highlighted the Earth, and the Moon is that they go through cycles, they flow and they change. And so, the earth contains seasons that she flows through, and so does the moon and, and we watch it and we interact with it, and we feel different because of the moon and, and all sorts of stuff. So that was that now let’s contrast to the masculine. And let’s talk about that in relation to the sun. So that’s the visual that I really like, using as the archetypal energy is that the sun really helps us understand the personification of masculinity. So, in contrast to the Earth and the Moon flow in cycles, the deal with the sun is that it is constant, it’s constant, it’s fiery, it’s direct. And while it has fluctuations, right we know of solar flares, for example, and that the sun has spots and it has complexity within it, of course, but at the same time, it is relatively constant and whether or not you are facing the sun or not, when you’re at least when you’re on Earth. It doesn’t change the fact that it is there, and it is constant, it’s just that you’re facing away from it. And so the energies of that, of that knowledge where we kind of expect the same thing from the sun day in and day out. Is basically, to me, such a great reminder of the qualities that the masculine has. So, let’s talk about how this plays out. And especially since we’ve already talked about the feminine, we can use that as the contrast. So, the power of creation, as in the creative force that then houses creation is the feminine domain Right. So we talked last time about how much power the feminine has then to utilize it, because if you’re going to create, well, then you better have some plug to the outlet that allows you to do so the creative energy from the masculine is then a different role, it has a different job, instead of fueling the kind of fueling the act of creation, it directs the act of creation, and then its manifestations as it goes out into the world. So that is to say that, when we talk about the masculine, it is the power to direct energy that we are really talking about, right, the constancy and the permanence of the sun. And what it does, we know that it will make for a beautiful sunny day, and the sun can also burn your skin off, right? And so there is great power, and that power has benefits and the power has downsides. And so the masculine then brings concentration and the direction to energy and helps it flow in the direction that is constant and intentional and purposeful. This makes for a really awesome interplay between the masculine and feminine, right, if you have raw, unbridled creative power, matched with powerful, intentional directive, decision making. And I like intentionality for that, then it’s a pretty sweet combo, right? And that’s the argument for within each of ourselves, it is worthwhile figuring out what energies we feel that we are most aligned with. And then the interplay between the two. Because as you can imagine, no matter who you are, you want to be able to make a decision in your life as in, I’m going this way, I’m starting a podcast, I’m going to do this in my relationship, this is the plan for my job, there’s my five-year plan, whatever it is paired with the ability to flow with life, to see it through to completion to actually finalize the creation. And that, of course, involves the interplay between consistently keeping your eyes on the prize, that masculine directive energy, and still flowing with whatever life is throwing out you right, being able to be flexible, go around things to respond to things to receive, to have, though, has to garner more information to learn, and then mash it all together in a creative process that is yours. It also then becomes really important in partnerships, where people most partnerships, regardless of gender, and because that’s not what we’re talking about here, how masculine and feminine interplays sometimes it’s too masculine. So, butting heads are sometimes there’s two feminine ‘s and there, they’re duking it out over lack of lack of direction, no one, everyone kind of wants to be in charge, and no one really want to take responsibility. So, while there can be mismatched energies, the thing that initially attracted people together is often the polarity is just that over time, then as that is lost, and it becomes muddled and confusing, then people feel confused and lost and like the power dynamics in their relationships aren’t working to create the results that both people want. It’s not about who has the power, it’s about whether you have the power to both direct the relationship and the way that you both like this is about success, when it talks about power dynamics, not about who wins in the power dynamics, because as we continue our conversation of what is the feminine and what is the masculine. If both parties bring strength and power in different ways, there is no such thing as one being better than the other. Right? They both need to be honored and represented in a way that creates successful results. So, whether it’s a relationship or a successful business or lots of money or getting famous about your book, whatever you got going on happy kids healthy home, whatever you got going on. That’s what we’re talking about here. The masculine then really shines in decision-making. This is relevant to the subject of submission that we talked about in the FEM, what is the feminine podcast? Because that’s such a sticking point for people. I hear women say, I like this idea of the masculine, and feminine, but gosh, I don’t like the whole night, I have to submit sounds like I just have to do what someone wants, which feels powerless. And most people already feel kind of powerless and not that great about themselves. So, they’re not really trying to sign up for something like that, which I don’t blame them. I don’t think most people want to be in that kind of energy. What the masculine then can bring to the table that gets around this problem as a mission? One, we already said last time that that is a choice. And that is dependent on the masculine ‘s ability to show decision-making capacity. So of course, there are multiple components of decision-making capacity. One is, do you make decisions at all? As in? Do you come up against situations and problems? And can you say, what do I need to do about it? And then whatever the answer is whether you feel confident, or you’re second guessing yourself, do you still kind of just try it and see it through? So, are decisions being made at all? And are they being made in a way that then takes responsibility for the outcome, because part of leadership then, and decision-making capacity is the ability to say that if I’m going to be leading, I also then see the outcome through, which is, of course, the whole trick of it, right? Everyone wants to lead, but most people are a lot more iffy about taking responsibility for the outcomes, right? And so that’s the whole rub of the masculine. If the feminine sins, Bugaboo is not having as much inherent direction. So that’s why we can, I mean, I think a lot of people who relate to the feminine ways can relate to the fact that sometimes there’s just so much power and energy, but it’s not direct, and you’re just overwhelmed and emotional and whatever, right so that that can happen. But in the masculine, there can be the whole trick is if the masculinity has some self-worth issues, and some insecurities and powerlessness inherent to it, the act of taking responsibility, even if you are well-intentioned and want to is really scary. So that’s where sometimes the masculine-feminine dynamics can be a sticky point in relationships. Because if both parties are not that clear on who’s leading the charge, and then they’re both kind of fearful of it, to begin with, and everyone’s a little bit like, yeah, I want to decide, let me lead this Ooh, but I want you to take responsibility, then it often creates some unpleasant and not that fun dynamics and relationships that then look like blame and arguing and fighting, and really all of that less fun stuff. But the goal of the decision-making on seeing through is that the masculine can step into the role of directing the energy I we don’t know what’s going to happen. But here is my best insight given what I know and with good intentions and the purpose fullness that I know of myself. So, this is you know, a masculine has to be there. In that aspect. This is the best decision that I can make. And then at that point, the kicks over to the feminine, it is up to the feminine to decide, do I trust this? Do I flow with this? Do I feel safe with this? Does this seem like a good idea, right? And this is where it will have dedicated episodes to this. This is where the feminine can influence and weigh in on the masculine’s decisions. But this is the act of influencing, not the act of stepping over and making the decision anyways. So, it’s the art of negotiation, right? This is listening and bringing both powerful energy and their unique insights to the table and making it work within each other. Now, sometimes we’re doing it within ourselves within the same person. And sometimes it’s a negotiation between two people. But either way, the masculine does not make the decision in a vacuum per se, and the feminine does not submit to the decision in a vacuum, either. The decision is then brought to the forefront and influenced by both parties. And then the final decision, then as decided by the negotiation there is then held by the masculine. And who then also takes responsibility for that decision. So within ourselves, we can feel that when it’s go time, when we’re like, okay, out of all the things I’m feeling and out of all the insights that my feminine is bringing in of all the creativity and the flow and the creation that I can muster up, what is this telling me? And then what responsibility Am I willing and ready to take? So that’s kind of what it sounds like within one person. And that’s what it means to have the masculine that’s come in at the final step. And it’s not done without the masculine in mind is just that that’s the decision maker because that’s the role. And then seeing through is a continued negotiation between two parties. Because of course, taking responsibility also takes into account everybody’s actions. So, you know, these things become complex. Everyone wants to be like, well, men make decisions, and then and then women have problems with that, or whatever. But here’s the thing, if you are in negotiations, and you are both directing the creative process in your own unique ways, well, then, at the heart of it, when we really look at what’s happening, the responsibility does lie with both people, right? It’s not that crazy of a concept. At the same time, we want to be clear about what each of these energies brings to the table and what they each are designed to be equipped to do. And so, decision-making, as directed by the masculine sets the direction of the energy in the creation, and then the feminine, helps create and power, the creative process that is involved in that. There is a lot of power to thinking through things like this, because every time that we have things like bickering and fighting and not figuring stuff out in relationships, especially intimate relationships, where masculine and feminine dynamics are playing out, understanding who feels like what’s going on which energies and parts of people are coming out who is scared of things, who is, you know, sometimes someone’s scared to do the responsibility step. Sometimes people are scared to hand over the decision-making capacity, there’s a lot of things that can happen that we then play at our wounding. But just like always, and the reason we’re doing these descriptive podcasts versus that awareness is a lot of the battle. With awareness, we can say, oh, I see what is happening. So that’s filling out the GPS, you can at least put it in where you are. And then as you keep looking, and this often happening over time, then you can put in point B on the GPS, which is where do I want to go? What would I like this to look like? Because in each person between their masculine and feminine, and between each partnership, and the masculine and feminine dynamics there is you get to both create it in the way that you like it. So, it’s kind of like we all have it when we paint. We all have the same color choices that the human eye can see. And there’s a lot of them but there’s still a spectrum that the human eye can see right We can, those energies of the different colors are just what they are. But each artist mixes and matches them in the ways that they want to express it. So that’s the key here with this masculine feminine energy is that a lot of times people lose sight of that, and they try to retrofit themselves into a masculine feminine box of this is how my relationship with myself and how my relationship with my partner should be, instead of actually understanding the energies, what each of them bring to the table, and then asking the question of given that I have powerful information here and awareness, how do I want to actually direct this process and what’s going to work for me the best. That kind of thinking is obviously not conducive to viral posts and the comment and bickering, a comment section bickering that drives algorithm and viral illness and all of that. So obviously, I choose the podcast format, because we do get to go into nuances. And I do lose out on that, you know, social media like action, and at the same time, that is just not how I want to engage in this content, right. And I’m not looking to argue about, oh, this is all data, traditional gender roles, and, and we’re going back to the 50s, I’m really not interested in having those kinds of discussions, because that’s not what we’re talking about here. Right? That’s not at all what these energies are meant to be used for. And they are not against each other like that. They are unified, and they are loving, and they are not, they’re a polarity, but they are not against one another. So that’s the masculine I love the even though I personally really identify with the feminine energies, I love masculine energies, I love my own actually, like I really love the way that I have built a relationship with my masculine in terms of taking care of myself, and knowing that I have my own back and my ability to make decisions for myself and all of that. And I feel like when I hear that part of myself, self my capacity to work with and like enjoy and love on and appreciate masculine energies really stepped into the forefront to as and I really love the feel of it. And so, I get to create a life that then has those components heavily within it, I get to be in my femininity and still find ways to honor my masculinity and have it meet me in my own life. Right be in the energy and to find the comfort. I love the constancy. I love the decision-making capacity; I love the directive. Energy I love the straight to the point is that masculinity brings kind of like the sun. It is really it became really healing because I had had some trauma around with men. And I didn’t necessarily feel that way. Back in the day, let’s say like when I was younger, but now, having worked on and healed that aspect of me, I’m finding so much joy in that, like, I’m just so happy that I went through the trouble to heal that aspect of me. Because every single day, I find myself being comforted, or experiencing some sort of good outcome from healing that masculine energy within myself and my relationship with it out in the world. So if any of this is kind of triggering to listen to, or if there’s some aspects you’re like, I don’t understand first of all, reach out to us support SSD ginger.com Just shoot us an email, and I will I want to cover Q&A stuff. So just let me know where things are not gelling, where your mental Gremlins are kicking up thoughts at you, or whatever is going on. And I will then match the content to whatever is most relevant for y’all. But I always just say if it’s true, it’s totally fine. That will get so much better because first the awareness is a little triggering, because you know where the imbalances are, you’re starting to get a feel for it. And it’s especially disconcerting when you feel them balance but you don’t yet have words for it. Like you haven’t consciously figured out what’s happening. Sit tight, it’s going to be okay. That’s what I can say. About this is that the end result is so worth it, that the, the bumps in the road to getting to the understanding are worth setting tight through. So of course, that you just have to take my word for it in that sense if you’re just starting out, but oftentimes when things are triggering to me and I keep coming across it, that’s often my sign to acknowledge that that is coming up for a reason and that there is benefit for me. And at my own pace I can choose to interact with it in the way that I need to in order to give myself that resource and help improve my own life. So I hope you all found that super helpful, and I will talk to you guys in the next episode. Sending you lots of love.