Dr. Alex Golden: Hello, hello party people. This is Alex, I’m here for a solo podcast with you, I hope that you are having a phenomenal day, evening night, wherever you are, wherever you’re listening. So glad that you are here. Welcome, welcome. I’m going to be talking about strategies today. If you’ve been around here for a little while, you know, I’m a big, big fan of talking about strategies. And it’s a really important subject that is actually not specific to any one problem that any one of us has strategies are a really fascinating concept at large. And so I wanted to talk about that today. But specifically, I wanted to go into how I think that many of us are essentially falling into keeping ourselves a little stuck from this perspective. And, or when we are guiding others, if we are a healer, we are a teacher, we are of service to humans, somehow, you know how that plays out in strategies. So we’re gonna dig into all of that today, this topic, we have been also teaching, the reason it was on my mind so much is because Megan and I are currently doing our first in person practitioner certification. So of course, you know, with the way that we are teaching other practitioners to function, the way that Megan and I work and the impact that we make in the world and the transformations that we get, right, because we get our people transformation so quickly. Of course, everyone’s like, what is the strategy for that, right. And so as we go through strategies, strategies are really everything that we do everything that we have as a strategy. And it’s been so fun this week to begin to get really clear, really granular with our practitioners about this topic. Because once you understand strategies fully, once you can navigate and think through strategies and really make them work for you. It’s so so powerful, if you are a practitioner listening to this, and you’re like, Oh, dang, I want strategies to break through people through their, where they’re stuck, where they’re, you know, still sick, where they feel small, all of these things, if you have that, and you’re like, oh, I want strategies, this is something that we’re going to be doing multiple times a year. So keep an eye out for that reach out to us. If you’re interested in the practitioner training we have our first, our first level is what we’re doing now. And there’s tears going up. So we even have a practitioner level two and beyond. Because we are hoping to create not even hoping we are creating, and we will create a whole army of practitioners who are going out and serving people and compassionate, loving, passionate, effective ways. So how does, how does strategies fit into this? Well, here’s the thing, strategies. Define everything that we do, whether it works for us, or it doesn’t. Everything that we have, in some ways, everything that we do, every action we take, every emotion we end up with, is in some form of a strategy. Everything is a strategy, we have a strategy for getting out of bed, you have a sequence, you have a strategy for buying things, you have a strategy for health maintenance, you have a strategy for when shit goes south and health, you have a strategy for buyer’s remorse, you have a strategy for picking out your partner, you have a strategy for being married to her and how that looks. You have a strategy for fighting, you have a strategy for running away from things right? You have a strategy for overwhelm, you have a strategy for anxiety.
So strategies do not always mean that we consciously picked it. And most of us are playing out strategies that when we were growing up and when we were going through things, that was the strategy that worked at that time. And often what happens is that because we are not taught to think in strategies and think through our strategies and understand how our brain is categorizing, and how it’s thinking through it, and how it’s signaling for things, we end up sticking with the same strategies that we know rather than developing a toolkit that says, How do I have the strategies that support me in life no matter what’s happening, right, the strategy when I work with people one on one, for example, with food, we have strategies for what are the weeks where everything’s going great. What’s the strategy there with food? What do you do? on what how can you visualize it? How can you make it more easy, more effortless, more flow? And then there’s strategies for, what about the week where everything’s going wrong, everything is piled up, there’s lots going on, the kids are sick, the dog threw up, your boss is freaking out whatever it is, right? And developing those so that we don’t get stuck places. Like, oh, I have this expectation that week in and week out, I’m going to the store and meal prepping, I have this thing and then a hard week hits. And we’re like, gosh, I can’t do that. And I feel bad about it. And I always do this, what is wrong with me? Rather than saying, hey, I need to have a toolkit that pulls out a different strategy that I have intentionally thought out, and I can lean on it, this strategy catches me. When the weeks get hard, right. This is what it practically looks like to intentionally and create strategies, rather than acting from a place of default. But here’s the thing, when we’re talking about strategies at large, a lot of times people are only looking for helpful strategies. Right? What can I do? And sometimes the subtext is what can I make myself do and stick with it? Right? That stringent meal plan that one approach? How do I make myself do it week in and week out. And a lot of times, in the process of looking at strategies, people will say, Well, I want that new strategy. But I have an old strategy, for example, I have to get stressed out. And I have to feel like I have that fire lit under me, so that I’m motivated to finish otherwise I procrastinate. That’s actually a strategy. And I’ve talked about this on the podcast, beating yourself up being hard on yourself, putting on the pressure dumping on yourself, can be a motivation strategy. And it can be effective, many of you, and I’ve heard from you, that’s why I’m saying this. Many of you use that strategy, because it worked. It got you through school, got you through your job, it got you through grad school, whatever it is. Or entrepreneurship, that’s a common one. So when we talk about strategies, our common thinking this strategy in our society is get rid of the bad ones, get all the good ones, and make sure you can stick to the good ones. And a lot of it is about willpower, and showing up and hustling and grind, and all that. And of course, if you’re here, you’ve been listening, and you know that there’s a lot of brain based hardwiring that happens at the level at these levels. So my argument for strategies is actually very similar to food. Because we do the same pattern, the same strategy with food, right? We’re like, hey, Food Matters and health. So how well, we take away all the things that are a problem. And you eat what’s left, right, here’s a list of the things you can have. And here’s a list of the things that you can’t have.
Well, Megan, and I saw that we we did that we learned it. But the thing was this, what happened with thing, and then the reason we got to bust out of that box is actually because of our own eating disorders, and disordered eating history. We were like, Man that just triggers the bejesus out of us, right? It puts us into deprivation, it puts us into stress, we start nitpicking food, we start getting a little crazy, right? And so out of necessity, Megan, and I years ago, how to look at food and be like, you know, we’re learning all the things. I’m going through all the med school classes, I’m doing all the functional medicine stuff, Megan’s in the Chris kresser, adapt program. These are all phenomenal. So we’re watching this and the narrative that’s happening. But the strategy is not working to apply because we had something in our history, something in our central nervous system, that was an obstacle to it. Now, while that’s frustrating, in some ways at the time, it was actually very good because it allowed us to say, hey, is this the only strategy that exists here? Right? Is that the only answer? And what Megan and I stance now is, and we feel very strongly about this is that taking out food and pulling out food from people and the things that they like and the things that bring them joy? Comfort and remind them of home and connection and all of that. That’s the last step of that strategy. Because what we are offering is, hey, what are you going to bring in first? Right? How do you find more enjoyable ways of eating? What would feel good to bring in what would be nourishing? Rather than starting with? Oh, hey, you have to take it out. And it’s gonna be really hard. And you have to choose and you’re gonna have to be really conscientious. And you’re going to need willpower, right? First is kind of like, How can you eat more? How can you have more expansion? How can you feel more free? And how can you bring in more options? How can you have more things to choose from? That is step number one. Because think about it from a safety or a survival mechanism from the brain? How much more successful Are you going to be in healing, if your strategy for approaching your food first nourishes you, uplifts you, and makes you feel that you have options? And only from that place of feeling supported? And having those resources? And at that point, it is easier to kind of see how and how do I want to go about this intentionally? How do I want to choose what I want to do next, you bring that in. And then after that, is when the peeling off can happen. So that’s generally our strategy. Right. And that’s what we work with people through strategies in general at large. That’s our, that’s our approach as well. And I would even argue that some strategies, it’s not even like food, sometimes those strategies, you don’t even have to remove them. You just add them to the mix. For example, I used to do the freak out, get really stressed out, and then I do all the work, right. But here’s the thing, while that’s problematic day in and day out, and has some guilt and shame, if that’s the only thing I’m using. The fact of the matter is it is if let’s say I’m cruising along, and everything’s great. And then Megan, and I have a really great opportunity come up. I’m kind of like, oh, you know what, I really I really want to do this, let’s get this done. And let’s do this, right? That is to me, I’m kind of like, that’s not a bad thing in that situation. I did have to hustle, I had to see that there was a time crunch. And I had to be like, Okay, what do I need to do? Do I need to move some stuff? Do I need to clear the calendar? What do I need to do to move this forward?
So I’m not really actually saying that I want a strategy gone. What I’m saying is that I want to have choices to pick from so that I don’t have to default to something that hurts me when it’s not an appropriate time to do it. By being motivated by inspiration, being motivated by where you’re going, the transformation, the passion that goes into it right towards the goal that you’re not away from, I’m scared, I won’t have money, therefore, I need to have sales, or I’m scared, my health will go away. So I better eat healthy. And if I mess up, it must mean that my health is gonna go down, right? All of these things. Don’t feel that great if that’s the only thing you’ve got. But my argument is that a, you don’t have to lose the strategy you have already had working for you to begin with. You can bring in new strategies first and have options. And then from that place, you get to decide out of the one that I had the strategy that I had, do I want to let that one go? Or am I simply acknowledging that it’s one I will pull out less frequently? Now there’s some strategies that we will decide. And that’s, you know, from a insightful, supported, optimize plays, we will be able to make the determination that No, I actually do not want to use that strategy anymore, right? The I want connection, but I push people away. That’s a strategy and you may not ever want that. Right? So I’m only giving examples, but there’s plenty of things like that. But at the same time, think of being the person that wants to be connected, but feels threatened by other humans and has had unsafe relationship and potentially had trauma and all that stuff. When they push people away. Then to say hey, you have a crappy strategy. We got to get rid of it. And then you got to be Perfect on the next one, because it was only when you got that, even if you know that strategy isn’t working, how successful is that person going to be moving forward, they could be very successful eventually. But that road could be really, really bumpy. And that’s okay. It’s okay. When roads are bumpy, sometimes life’s gonna life. And that’s how it’s gonna go. But we don’t need to place ourselves in scenarios where it is bumpy for no reason at all right with the food, we don’t have to all at once, pull everything out. And be like, deprivation is the only strategy. Right? There’s options. And that is why I love emotion so much. Because if we can sit in our and process the motions of doing it in perfectly, but the way that you’re doing is supporting you, because you’re giving yourself strategies, and you’re empowering yourself to have choices, and to say that I’m not being forced into this, there’s no authority making me do this, I get to pick, I get to choose, I get to fight for what I want. And I get to have my bad days where I love myself anyways. Think of how much more easily you can act empowered when you’re in that thinking, rather than that small survival threatened, oh, my God, what else do I have? What do I need to do? I don’t even know what I’m doing. I’m not even good at this new strategy. And I have to get rid of the old one, right? It can work. But I highly, highly recommend that people think about this, you can ultimately decide to pull out a strategy at any given point. And that’s going to be a strategy. Right? It’s gonna like the inception of that is going to be a strategy. But I, my call to you, is how can you make this really intentional, with the then main intention of saying, I’m actually going to show myself compassion and love and do this in the way that feels best to me, that supports me that allows me to choose, and that I can feel proud that I made the choice. I navigated it. And even when I messed up, I chose again.
And I did it and I did it over and over again until I got to where I was going. When we do that. I literally just gave myself chills. When we do that. We build evidence inside our central nervous system that we are in charge, we take care of ourselves, we make the decision, we have our own back. It gives you courage to power, that authenticity, the showing up in the world, and making the impact you want to make. It’s so so powerful. So those are a lot of questions for you. There’s lots to think about in this and I’m so excited to hear from you. So I’d love to hear what you think, as always screenshot those tag me on the story, I want to hear your highs and strategies is something that I’d like to chat about in many different ways as we move forward. Because, as you can imagine, I have a lot to say about this. So I’ll be back. But please reach out to me. Let me know what you found helpful, what your hang ups are, where you get a little stuck. And then I will follow up with all of the episodes answering your questions and describing exactly how I do things already. Thank you so much for joining me for this podcast and we’ll see you next time.