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What were your takeaways from the first part of the Success Habits Training? 

Today’s episode of The Zesty Ginger Podcast is part two of the free online training on how to accelerate transformation. In this episode, Dr. Alex and Megan talk about the lies you tell yourself that are keeping you from success. They also talk about how you can overcome self-doubts, the importance of taking time off, and how to become a coach. 

 

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Megan Blacksmith 

While we’re just waiting for people to pop on, I’d love to have you put any takeaways from video number one in the chat. What were your takeaways? What do you want us to know about hear about experience, anything that you want to share with us throw those takeaways in the chat. And in general, in our groups, one of the things that we do that’s really fun is we have our group members will do weekly video updates of their wins and anything that’s going on that week. So if you feel called to do a, either live, or you can record the video and pop it in this Facebook group, we would love to hear your wins. And the cool thing about that is the other people then get to hear what you implemented, how you perceived something, what you decided to do with it. And it inspires people to also do the same. So anybody who wants to share a video in the group, please do. And remember, we do have you more prizes coming out. So our team will be watching. They’re seeing who’s super active, we are rewarding you for being active. We’re rewarding you for taking action. So there’s going to be a prize happening, it will be announced next Monday live. And yeah, those videos will help you, that’s for sure. Awesome. Okay, let’s see if I can see the comments.

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

And it’s a really good reminder here that the perception is projection, right? So we are right off the bat, how are learning something, and then we are going straight to taking action and implementation, right? Because then we are translating it directly into hard wiring the brain further with our actions. So when you make those videos, and then when you go watch those videos, that’s really what the how the science behind all those actions is moving through. That’s why we have it set up like this right there. We always say there’s a method to the madness. And because we said if you can hardwire the brain faster, you get the results that you’re wanting faster. So if you are at a point where you’re a little frustrated, this is one very fast way we’re saying do it. And you’ll see the flow of things coming back to you. Whether that’s your reticular activating system, the universe, you name it, that’s just how it works.

 

Megan Blacksmith 

Yeah. All right. Thank you for typing in the chat. We’d love the interaction. And we loved seeing the replay people in the chat from last time. So if you are again, watching the replay, give us a hashtag replay. Because we’d love to because Because today’s video two or sorry, today’s live number two, is all about the lies you tell yourself that are keeping you from success. We’re going to get into that today.

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

Yep. And a different way of saying that is that we refer to them as mental gremlins. Okay, these are essentially challenges that you experience and behaviors that you participate in, whether that’s a thinking behavior and emotional behavior, or physical behavior. But those things then create the necessity to have narratives painted around them, right? If you’re going to do something, we are meaning making machines. So our brain has to tell us a story. And because of that length, then there are four major categories of stories that people fall into. And so we’re going to start with the common challenges, and highlighting those things so that you can appropriate, appropriately identify yourself, right? Where am I at with this? What stories am I telling myself? Because even if it’s not, I mean, more than likely you’ll have one or more of these. But even if it’s not one of these four, going through this process and thinking through it in this way, this is how you will essentially never have to deal with self sabotage. Right? Self Sabotage is just something hardwired in your brain that you didn’t intentionally hardwire and now it’s playing out and you don’t like it. So it’s not really self sabotage, in that your brain is doing exactly what it’s supposed to be doing. But at the same time, it feels it when people say self sabotage because what we’re really identifying is it’s not going along with my goals. It’s not aligned somehow it’s throwing a wrench in the in the plan and so be Because of that, when we have the courage to look at that stuff, and to say, Oh, this is the picture that I’m painting, and the the narrative that I’m telling myself, if it doesn’t feel good to me, it’s an up, then I need to take care of it. And I need to look at it until it’s been resolved. And now it’s no longer going to come shooting out from underneath the rug, triggering me, it’s actually just going to be something that when it comes up, I’m going to know how to handle it. And then eventually, because of that, it’ll just stop coming up.

 

Megan Blacksmith 

Yeah. And as you’re listening today, I want you to check in and write down what are the beliefs that you have around this? What are the patterns that you fall into with this? Because next, anybody who’s already signed up for VIP, at three o’clock today, we’re going to be dropping one of those beliefs. We’re going to go through a process to drop a limiting decision that was made. I want you to be listening throughout this whole thing. Of which things have I made a story around which things do I have beliefs around success or abundance or the things I want that are stopping me from where I want to go? Okay, awesome. And so once said, she went back to listen to the podcast habit challenge. It’s been an it has been a fire. Thank you, Brett.

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

Amazing. Awesome, perfect, perfect. Perfect. Yeah, because let’s go through some of these challenges then so that you can identify what’s going on. So overwhelm and procrastination, let’s have a show of hands or still me or some put a one even if if you relate to this where you know what you are you think you know what you want to do. But you do the thing where you’re like, I have a bunch of emails, and then you get into bed, or you watch TV, or you do something else. I overwhelming procrastination,

 

Megan Blacksmith 

you get some thumbs up on that one.

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

Okay. Okay, staying on task and time management. So, I think I know what I need to do. But I get distracted, not avoidance, but distraction.

 

Megan Blacksmith 

Krista says out Yes,

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

totally, totally. And this next one, next one is a big one. So low energy. So just the physical symptom of I don’t have the juice for this. Whatever this is. I’m sure a lot of share a lot of thumbs up coming on that one. And it’s also important to recognize, let’s just put a little asterix on that energy thing. When we do things that aren’t feeding our soul, or are not in alignment with our heart. A regular activity, like answering an email can seem very energy, it can draining femininity, like oh, gosh, I just wrote one email. But now I feel like I’m done for the day, and I want to go rest in bed. So while it is often looked at as an energy, physical body symptom, we do have to understand that that is an opportunity for the bodies to interface with one another. And that it is not just physical body issues that can lead to physical body exhaustion. It can be emotional, mental, or spiritual drains as well, that then lead to exhaustion. Right? So however it shows up for you, is fine, but that’s kind of the category. Lots of stuff there.

 

Megan Blacksmith 

Yeah, Alex, that reminds me of how those first few categories were, how I used to really keep myself busy. I’d say I’ve overwhelmed I procrastinate. I didn’t have time management problems. And I did actually blame my physical health and my symptom. And then as my health improved, and things got really good, and now my health is great. And my husband retired. And so now I have someone who’s driving the kids around buying my groceries, making meals, and I don’t have all the tasks that to be overwhelmed about and I don’t have the things to procrastinate on, and I didn’t have the physical symptoms. And now all of the things I really did think those were the reasons I wasn’t getting to be the leader. I want it to be really What was under that was I was just avoiding the scary tasks that was avoiding the money making tasks and I was hiding. So it was a, it was a belief there, which I didn’t get to see clearly for myself until all those things were taken away. And then I still would be sitting, there was nothing on my plate, but this one project that I just could not get myself to do.

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

Yeah, exactly. Which then you know, you can, you could tell yourself a story of, Oh, I’m tired. That’s why I don’t want to do it, right. And then you go and track down and get your beautiful shots and, and take your mitochondria, which, honestly, we love. But at the same time, right of if that’s a, that’s a really handy way to not address the big scary things, that is exactly what we will do. And it’s hidden behind some hefty fragmentation, which is what we’re going to get into next. But let’s finish out this list. So we can get really clear on what’s what we’re actually dealing with. So not believing in yourself as a leader, like, doing the things for some, you know, for some of you, maybe yes, I have a business. Yes, I’m sharing a podcast. Yes, I have a group. But at the same time, the story that you’re telling yourself is no, not a leader. No, I’m not the kind of person that leads. No, I’m not the one that’s usually in charge, all of those things. And I counter and we talked about that last week, not trusting intuition. This is where all this self doubts Whew, that’s a big one. So I’m expecting to see loss of raised hands or Thumb, Thumb type intuition if that’s you. Yeah. Because what does it really look like self doubt, well, not looking for other people’s opinions, not being sure what you want to start or try. And so you don’t start anything or you don’t try anything, or the opposite of that is trying a bunch of different things, always starting new, always adding new things, always starting new thing, you know, whatever, but kind of shopping around that kind of thing. Not unrelated to that is not having a clear vision, because obviously, when you feel very lost, and you’re not listening to the compasses that we have, whether it’s our emotional compass, or intuitive compass, it’s easy to get lost in the weeds. And part of being a leader we talked about last night is the habit of keeping your eye on the prize, not getting so lost, and the fear even, and the self doubt and all the details so much that you’re not even totally sure where you’re going. Right. So that and then the last one we wanted. I’ve I fully expect to see all of the hands raised for this one, but the checklist quicksand right, this is where we get our dopamine hits from the checklist that we create. And then we instill and reinforce and maintain our sense of worth, however good or bad that is based off that checklist. So, gotta be on Facebook, got a post on Instagram, gotta do the podcast, got to walk the dog gotta take a shower, I gotta do my hair got, you know, ad nauseam.

 

Megan Blacksmith 

And there’s a difference with the right because people are saying, Oh, yes, I was adding new things. There’s a difference with adding new things for your growth. And being in the checklist. Quicksand, right? There’s the things that will actually, we’re always going to be learning, we’re always investing in ourselves, we’re always doing things. It’s the idea of the doing the things that are a little bit harder or a little bit cause a little bit more looking inward, or expansion of yourself versus the the checklist for the sake of a checklist, the certification for a sake of a certification, right, the like, well, I need five more things to be hanging on my wall, then I’ll go coach, right? When it’s just for certification versus I would love more tools. I’d love to learn about that kind of tool. Those are different. Everybody feel how that’s different. Jennifer’s saying so true. Hi, Katie. Okay, cool.

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

And it’s, it’s so true that adding, adding the new things, and doing is something that a lot of people use as a crutch to say, Oh, see all this stuff I did. Even if it doesn’t go well, at least it’s not my fault. Right? So it’s like, you haven’t even started your lunch yet. And you’re already worrying about it. And then you’re just creating more things for your checklist to make sure that it goes well. That’s the kind of thing that we’re talking about, right? It’s like you have a plan. But then because of the narrative that’s getting created then, even though you modify the plan by adding more and more into your play, and then by the time you get to the thing that you’re expected to do then you’re tired All right, because you have energetically drained yourself from the motion that you created. So that’s where it can really get nuanced. And that’s where leaders, leaders require discernment. Right? Leaders become leaders because they can see in the gray, that confuses other people. And that’s why they look to leaders to lead them. And so, leadership requires self awareness to develop that discernment that says, it’s not just what I do. But as the spirit that I bring to my thinking about what I’m doing, and to the emotions that I am feeding into an entertaining, and all of these things become a lot more nuanced. That’s why success habits for leaders are not exercise and, you know, eat your veggies, that can be for everybody. But at the same time, those are not the things that differentiate somebody from stepping into that role. And so from that standpoint, we really need to create the habits. And that’s why we’re doing it in this format in the sequencing. And going through all this thinking is that with that clarity, then you’ll get to decide what is most important to you, and what’s going to lead to your greatest expansion, and getting you to run your life and your business and your leadership from a place of, I get to do it in my own unique weirdo little way. And I love that that’s what I’m here for. Right? That’s what we’re talking about here. So let’s talk about how does someone get to these false narratives, if that’s what they are? Right? We know that looking into any one of these, you can engage in the checklist quicksand. But when you stop and we start talking about it, it becomes very obvious that we are adding things to add things just to check them off. Like I don’t know about you, but I love doing the like eat breakfast and take a shower added to the list just so I could check it off. Right. And so that’s like, you know, when you’re, you know, when you’re doing it like that. The reason we can stop, talk about it, and have a change of perspective is actually a consequence of how the brain works. And as extension of how fragmentation is created in our beingness. And then that beingness, of course, is imprinted in the brain, right? The fragmentation is at the brain level, because somehow it has to get into your physical apparatus, this whole physical vessel has got to be hardwired to become you the way that you are today. Right? So how does this fragmentation happen? So parts of the brain are responsible for different ideas. Okay, so I’m going to, you’re gonna, let’s pretend there’s a part of my brain, that’s money, right?

 

Megan Blacksmith 

Yeah, okay.

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

So there’s many right there, right? So then that one is going to have some sort of story like this, maybe I do, too worth self worth. So there you are, every time you think about making money, however you feel about that as a now tied to your self worth. I don’t think these are gonna stay, so I’m gonna have to hold them. Because then then the, the neurons in your brain, go ahead and hold hands, so to speak, because that’s essentially what happens, they get wired together, literally. And then they talk to each other. So now, whatever the conversation is around money and worth, that’s the only lens that you see money through, right? So if at the base in your brain, your self worth is low, well, then it’ll necessitate that you can’t make a lot of money, because then that would go against the low self worth. And your brain will never go against what has hardwired. So that fragment creation, really in that narrative, you know, it’s a mental Gremlin, because it’s limited. It is neither accurate about money, because money is just a tool. We talked about that last week, right? It could be good, you could start charities, or you could steal from people. Right or create, you know, put money towards causes that harm the planet. So that to say, I can’t have money we know is a limited version of the truth. And that’s how we know it’s a mental Gremlin. And then our self worth. If our brain says You never do anything, right? You’re a lazy piece of crap. We know that if I were to ask you, well, how are you playing sorry with kids, and you’re like, Oh, I’m great at playing with kids, you know, you might even generally, you’d be like, Oh, that’s just for business, I’m actually a really, I’m really good with kids, I’m really, I’m really good friend, I’m a really good cook, right? So your self worth tied to your money is a very limited version of your self worth and who you really are. So that it and when it’s hard wired money and worth, then the brain has essentially created a little box around these two concepts, and you can only see it through that hole. So I don’t deserve to have a lot of money is a common filter, or I’m not good enough to be someone who has a lot of money in his wealthy. Right. And so that fragmentation that we’re talking about, is how you play out your I gotta post so I can feel good about myself. Right. And that fragmentation is exactly what drives them the behavior of having to do it. And then if you’re feeling burnt out from overworking, it’s still at the end of the day, this playing out. And that’s why we talk about the spiral of fragmented suffering, is that when you are limited in your perspective, the fragmentation automatically leads to suffering because it’s always inauthentic. It’s always a lie. It’s always an incomplete picture. And then because it’s an incomplete picture, it doesn’t make sense. And then we’re like, life sucks. Yeah, I mean, who’s tracking me on this? Does that all make sense? How we create these narratives? And then because life doesn’t go like that, then we have to create more narratives that then explain the SOC that we saw in the first place? Yes, yes.

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

Everybody’s Yes. Absolutely. Okay. So let’s add motivation to this. This letter that in my other shakeup ads, let’s say now you’ve added hardwiring a motivation to your money and self worth, mental Gremlins soup, that you’re getting wet. And so now motivation, become a scientific, let’s say, you believe about yourself, those of you that said staying on task and time management, right? Krista said, ouch. If what we have hardwired is that our motivation sucks. Therefore, we feel bad or bad or bad about ourselves, and then don’t go out and take the action that makes us money. That is the evidence that we’re actually awesome. That motivates us to do more in the world. These walls of fragmentation are the thing keeping you away from your results. You take the walls down with resources. And that’s what we said last week, right? You take the walls down the three sources, and you get out of the spiral of suffering. That’s the exit door. And that’s why when we talk about these four lies that we tell ourselves, and now you can see why we call them lies. It’s not just so that we can be dramatic. It’s so that we can really illustrate how much it’s true that it is inaccurate. It is an inaccurate look of the reality of your life and who you are. And it’s absolutely keeping you stuck and lost and confused. And so as you as we highlight these, and you go through the the action of really looking at what you’re doing, looking at what’s going on in your thoughts and addressing them, like going to the VIP session after that, and there’s a lot more coming. Those are the things that are going to get you out of wherever you are, right and it’s going to happen very, very quickly, you’ll see that the transformation can get sped up, but when you’re stuck in the spiral, it’s only ever going to speed up the spiral. And that’s not where you want to be. So it’s time to make make a sharp left. Okay.

 

Megan Blacksmith 

Jessica says I’d like a seat in the exit aisle, please. So I can be the first one out the door.

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

Exactly. Okay. So with the remaining time let’s go through these four lies that that we tell ourselves. This one, this first ones I do these so I want you to pop into the chat if you relate to this one because I want to see who does but doing more equals more success. So productivity tied to results, who has a

 

Megan Blacksmith 

strong belief on this one, and if you do, it’s not too late to sign up for the VIP session, we got to come blow that out, please. This had a stronghold on both of us. So it it’s hard to rearrange your life and business for the way you want, when you have this as a core belief that you just have to do more. And whatever that is, right, just do more things versus doing the things that makes the difference.

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

Yeah, and there’s lots of ways that this is set up. For one, lots of us had parents who were always on the go. And they modeled to us that living it out that if you’re productive, then you’re a good person. Right. So that’s one, the, those of us who were good in school, and, and got praise because of school or sports or you know, some sort of capability that you have, then, then people will keep doing more of it. And then if you yourself have been like, Oh, I get x when I do Y, then that’ll be hardwired to more than likely, you have multiple reasons to think that. Because what happens is that we that initial filter gets installed by the people that are around us, right? Just a consequence of our environment when we’re younger. But because then we look through the world through that filter, we find more evidence, right, our brains, our reticular activating system looks for that. We get confirmation through that evidence. And you continue to build out these neural networks that say my worth and productivity are related to one another. And so if that’s you, first of all, you have to recognize that you didn’t set that up. Right. So if you are really getting down and your self worth for that, and the narrative is I suck because I don’t do XYZ. First things first is recognize that you didn’t, you didn’t hardwire that initially. Now it is up to you to resolve it. You’re in charge there. But but you can’t take full responsibility, none of us really can. That’s just the reality of the brain. Okay. So that for one is it but it can also just become a habit. For example, I just for a while there, I really got in the habit of being in med school and, and starting a business and cooking three meals a day for my ex husband, I just was like, Oh, this is what you’re supposed to do. And I really got in the flow of it. And it’s kind of like, if you don’t tell yourself to stop, you just kind of forget, sometimes. And it’s easy. I think young parents do this, you kind of get into the couple years of young parenthood. And then even though the kids are different, the behaviors stay the same. And then early launching a business, I have noticed that seems to be a pattern that people do, because you know, you’re the only one you’re getting it off the ground, things are going and then people just kind of forget that that isn’t all of what business is. So any one of those you’re falling in if you’re relating. You’re in good company.

 

Megan Blacksmith 

I remember when Yeah, I remember when Nate was first home, like when he was around, and I work from home for myself, right? So I had a flow of what I do and what I was okay with doing. And for me, I actually use take a lot of whitespace Alex knows, like I have puzzle time I have listening to motivational thing time like that device, spend the morning doing that, then I actually can create a whole program or a whole podcast in a very quick amount of time. Whereas if I just got up and did the list, it wouldn’t go quite as well. So you have your success habits. I have my success habits. The end, they don’t look like I’m doing much to other people. Right. So I started to realize even though I had rearranged how I was doing things, I still had the belief that you needed to look busy to be worthy of love and now there’s another person and in my in the space right mirroring. Yeah, seeing this. And for a while I would just I actually remember one time sitting there reading a book and hearing him come in the door and like jumping up to my computer. Like I was gonna pretend like I was working that how strong that was an overtime. I really really worked on the belief and then I also I have it shows so much reprogrammed the other way around that I know my flow is so important and I No, my rest time is so important. And then I’ll be like, Yeah, watch me take a nap in the middle of the day. And I’m still making more money than you know, I don’t say that. But great. Like, it’s still flowing in like it’s actually. Right, it actually becomes the, you know, I’m doing less and having more success. And so this is a pattern. And we’ve had people say to us before, they’re like, how do you guys do it all, like, you have a podcast and you have groups, and you’re running in person trainings, and you’re on these other people’s podcasts, and you’re doing live stuff. And usually the people who are asking, I was like, I know how much I’m like, I know, for a fact, you are physically doing more tasks than me. Right than us, right? Like in a day, because there’s a small percentage we do. And then there’s the process for everything that happens. Right?

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

Yeah. So a lot of people will be honest, though, if they say it’s an eight hour workday, they’ll be doing this stuff for like, three. Right? So at that point, when we are leaders, with the I have a boss who’s watching me mentality needs to be like, go right, because that’s all one thing. And we can even generalize this out to doing more equals more success to even things like health, because people will, from a place of insecurity, and you need to hear me on that one, from a place of insecurity, they’ll want to do more, and upkeep more and make sure like, I’m feeling better, but let me keep the the food’s gone from the diet that I pulled out in order to heal. And let me make sure that, you know, I put this on the other side of my travel to make sure that I feel okay, there is a lack of confidence in the fact that you have actually healed so often an interesting place where people get where they are doing better and better, but they’re acting like they’re not. And those behaviors then will stem from insecurity of, if I stopped doing those things, then my health will actually crash again, instead of I get to stop doing those things, because I have healed, really very different narrative, very different emotional sense in the body from that. And the same thing is true here of if I’m not good enough, because I haven’t done enough, you need to do a lot. But if you know what you bring to the table, and you pick the things to do, then doing more things, doesn’t meet any of that criteria, and you’re much less motivated to do it. So there’s just a lot less fear and a lot less of that insecurity driving behaviors, that you then more than likely, this one’s going to be a rough one, sit around and complain about right, you’re like I have to do all this work. I have to read all these emails, I got to do all this stuff. Well, if no one’s making you, then you got to ask yourself what you’re doing. Right? Because as leaders, that just doesn’t track out anymore. You get to complain about that when you have an employee. And if you have a tutorial, do you have a really demanding boss, but still every everything else in life, when we are leaders than we need to think in the way that allows us to function as leaders, which means that we divorce ourselves from these filters that say, if I do more than I’ll prove to myself, that I’m good enough, right? Whereas doing the things that feel good, and having a good outcome is what the evidence feels like that builds confidence. It’s a nuanced change, right? One reinforces that you’re not good enough and leaves a bad feeling. The other one says, I did it differently. And it panned out this way, and I’m gaining and cultivating confidence from that knowing that I chose and I handled the situation, no matter what it is, even if you didn’t like how it went. Right? You handled it by thinking about it by giving it meaning and then deciding how you want to move forward. So what does it look like to actually take time off more? And prove to yourself that you can make more money doing it? Well, for one, you got to try it out. So for one well, there’s ways to support yourself with the belief so come to the VIP session. But other than that, what does it look like? It actually looks like coming up with a plan that you say, this is going to be a plan for me to try and have a temporary approach if I don’t like it, no one’s making me stick with it. Maybe you just say for today. I’m gonna actually take half a day Are because they normally, and I’m going to do this and then I’m going to get to work, or maybe I’m going to take all of today. And then what’s going to happen? What’s going to happen is that if you are, well, you know, with this, if you are messing with this, and you’re saying, I’m not going to worry about creating motivation today, I’m going to take the day off, then that’s going to trigger whatever your wiring is or and your worth. And you may be able to tell that because your emotional compass is going to say, I don’t feel so worthy right now. And you’ll know that you’re on the right track, right? And that’s how you’ll know to say, okay, but me consciously as the leader of my life, still is blind to decide to keep taking time off. And these feelings, what do I got to do to sit with them. So you might want to cry, you might want to call a friend and talk to them, you might want to journal, you might want to do some of those good parasympathetic tools to calm your body down, you might want to go do some meditation or some deep breathing, you might want to go through the throw pillows at the wall in your bedroom, whichever one it is, but what it doesn’t look like is reverting back to work. Because then we’re using our emotional compass to loop us back into the very same dynamic that we already have hired went in, you know that you have done that, when you take an action that you normally take and feel relief. So if you’re like, Oh, I still won’t do work. But at least I can like, check my email, do the dishes. Yeah, or something like that, you know, the, I won’t answer the emails, but at least, then you’re thinking about the emails, right. So that what you will have done is essentially go back, close the door to that fragmentation and live inside the worth, money motivation bubble, again, your emotions will tell you that you’re there by feeling the release of that tension that says, This feels different to me. So follow the emotional compass on this one, when you are playing with us, because you will get so much information about yourself from that. And it also is the ultimate training in leadership for yourself. It says yes, I feel this discomfort, and no, I’m not gonna go do the that thing. I’m gonna go do something else. And what does that need to be? And then you ask, and then when your brain kicks out something, you go ahead, and you do that, right? Because then we’re going to continually weave our good intuitive skill, it’s a sense that we have like vision, it would be a shame not to use it. And so asking yourself, and then doing so what actually happens when when this happens, because we’ve had clients are gonna tell you about Kiersten, who allowed us to share all this. But essentially, she was in a pivotable pivotal point in our business, she had made huge moves, she applied a lot of this stuff, she was in our level one, and done our Health Transformation accelerator program process as well, because that’s all the seven steps of transformation. And with that was taking some time off around the holidays. And her mental Gremlins kicked up. Right, we hadn’t we had multiple sessions about this. And we chatted and there was a lot of fear of kind of the usual understand understandable, very valid concerns like, well, if my money flow slows down, is it going to keep slowing down? Right? I wanted to be slower now. But I wanted to pick back up but is it for sure. Gonna pick back up. But if I slow down, right, like, future projections are gonna be what your brain starts to try to kick off and create, right? But the that’s that’s not at all how it went. So even with the setting and the discomfort, and when we were doing coaching? We did the exactly that process that I just described is exactly what we talked about in the moment. And it had a lot of how are you going to what emotions are coming up? How are you going to support yourself through them? How are you going to process them coming up? How can we begin to gather those beliefs that aren’t serving you so much and begin to one by one, knock them out? address them hardwire what you do want on it? And from that then not only did she have a really lovely time off, right? She actually got to enjoy it because it’s one thing to not work. It’s another thing to be so anxious the whole time that you kind of ruin the time off for yourself. Right so a It’s not she had a bunch of cool money wins. But the reason I’m saying that is number one is that is the most important. If you take time off, it’s probably because you want to connect with your loved ones is because you want to give yourself rest is because you want to connect with yourself like, those are huge wins. So she got to do that. And she got to actually enjoy it. She started to me, she made 20 Her first 20k months within four months of coaching. Yeah, launched a 6k programs and had clients sign up for the beta. So I’ll after the rest. Also beta launched an online cores, and had multiple signups that same day, created more time for the things in her life not related to business, that she had goals that she had outside of that she healed her last bit of symptoms for endometriosis. That’s quite the movie, I’m sure people’s interest is paid for that one, and recovered from and made massive progress on healing her high histamine issues. Right, which again, are set up from the hypothalamus, which is in the brain. So this is what this is what it looks like. And this is not a list that looks like then I made money. Right? This is a list of I felt aligned in my life. And the results flowed from it. Right. Because the time and the connection and the healing and the time for yourself and feeling more in control of that time. That’s what it really looks like. Because then you can go out and do the things that get you money. And we’ve talked about it before, money is everywhere. If you have something that helps people, they’ll give you money. That’s how it works. And so with that, that’s all the steps she was able to create. And then money just flowed. I also didn’t know was not on this list. She found a random bottle of $1,100 in her house. Oh, yeah. Right in January.

 

Megan Blacksmith 

So from the previous owners from the previous owners,

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

just random cash randomly. Her partner found it. So she found

 

Megan Blacksmith 

20 bugs on the floor and our last training to Yeah, that’s on the ground.

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

Money is everywhere, right? You just literally ran. I was talking to a friend the other day, and he was driving and there was just money flowing, blowing across the highway. So he stopped and picked up $180

 

Megan Blacksmith 

Are you serious? Yeah.

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

He’s like when I go to dinner? Yeah, I want your highway money. You know what I mean? So this is the kind of the kind of magic that happens when you let your brain look for the magic, right? But when it’s hidden behind walls of that fragmentation, we can’t see you’ll drive past the money. You won’t even notice it. You’ll walk past it. You’ll you’ll miss the you can you know what the reality is? Kirsten and her husband did live with that $1,100 For years, right? There’s a reason they find it now. They didn’t just buy the house. So it is an absolutely interesting part of and we have to remember it. I love manifestation. I think it’s super awesome. I love you know, the universal flow. But if we forget that it’s actually happening in our brain and is physiologically occurring. I think a lot of times we blow it off more easy. When it’s like that’s really how the brain is wired, it’s going to look for that. But depending on the filters use that because there’s only so much that it can pick up at once. So the reality of is we really have to care where we’re looking because that will mean we see it or we don’t. And that’s super cool. I love that. Any comments. I love everybody

 

Megan Blacksmith 

to type in rest if you are willing to commit to taking some more time off so that you can have all the amazing this flow to you like Kiersten. Let’s just go ahead and commit whether you’re watching live right now or the replay. I would love to hear, see your rest. And it is a commitment to that. Cool. Okay, okay, then we’re gonna move on to number two. Okay,

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

so for number two out of the four lies that you tell yourself but I keeping you from success. It number two is is a really common one is I need to, I need to know it all. First. I need to know what I’m doing first. Okay. This one’s a really, really common one that is again, kind of an outflow of school that people tend to feel like if other people give me the stamp of approval, then I’m good. Right then And I can do it. But what so often happens, and please raise your hand here if this is you. But people will keep getting certifications, keep doing the things until to solve that, but then then keep not experiencing it. Now there is a case for working with people that can guide you. And we’re in learning how to lead from other leaders and role modeling other people’s behaviors, because it would honestly be kind of dumb to create things from scratch. At least, that’s what our opinion is. Right? Like, why why recreate it, and that’s gonna be one of the points that we talked about. But the flip side of this is that people do get more information, they do get guidance, and yet they still don’t don’t really feel like it. Right. So that is where, because that’s so common. That’s why we talked about getting getting the body into state and doing parasympathetic right off the bat last week. Right. And that is because usually, that feeling of, I don’t feel worthy to do this, I’m scared has nothing to do with how qualified you are at some point. Right? If you have certifications, if you have stuff if you have been equipped with all sorts of knowledge and resources, and you don’t feel significantly different than it’s probably not that, right. Because how you will know that it’s lack of competency is that you’ll know you have not gone out and acquire the information. For example, we can’t do all this thought remodeling subconscious reprogramming stuff until Megan and I did what our certifications are in with the neuro linguistic programming and the hypnosis and all like the life coaching and all of that stuff, right. So we know that those things have happened. We also know that when I worked for Dutch Island to med school, when I do the labs, when I talk about those, I have been taught that and so I have, I can list for you the things that I have done, and Megan can list for you the things that we’ve done, then if you can list all of that, and you feel like, yeah, those are the things that people get resource for to do what I do, if you can put that on paper, and you look and the feeling that you have is I’m not good enough to do this, I need more than that feeling. And that belief is really what’s here for you. That’s a mental Gremlin. Because now you can see how there’s a disparity between reality and what you’re telling yourself. And so go ahead and do that. Right? Why are you allowed to do what you do? Now, that can be anything you want to lead kids, you could say, I’ve already I had younger siblings, I am a really good mom already. Because I do this, this, this all right, you can put things out. Now if you got to do that, and you have nothing to put down. Well, then there may be a case for of course, people don’t feel confident when they don’t have the resources to do what they want to do. So at that point, hang tight, because we’re going to get to there. But at the end of the day, what happens when we keep looking for things to fill that void? Essentially, we need to separate the two and see that that feeling is just the feeling. And that reality, we need a reminder, I do have this I am equipped, and I am allowed to do this, right, I have done the things for competency. And now I am good, right? So when it’s just the feeling of it, that’s where parasympathetic wiring is crucial. Because when you understand that the narrative is just mental Gremlins, and the feeling needs to be calmed down so that you can consciously move forward, then go ahead and pair those parasympathetic tools that we talked about last week, into whatever you want to do. So what it feels like, if you’re going to launch a program, right? This is where you start beta launching it, but calm yourself down while you’re doing it. That’s what it is. And if you write it down and you feel like you’re not equipped to start a group, then sit tight. But essentially at that point, if you’re good to go, then Paracin but that is going to be the other thing that we see time and time again. I had a client, we’ll call her mash. The match had a lot of goals and she was really clear on the feeling that she was going for but she always kind of felt like at work In her health and in her relationship, she just was messing everything up. Like those were kind of the words like I’m just not getting it right. And one of the big beliefs that was related to this need to know it all first, is that she really believe that there was such a thing as failure, that if you try something, and it doesn’t go, well, then you didn’t get anything out of that. And what happened when we begin to create experiences within her and for her, where she went ahead and try things by calming ourselves down and begin to reinforce herself, the narrative that I’m going to try this, I’m going to try the little bite sized version that I can think of, until I’m comfortable doing the full version, right? Instead of talking to her boss, she might speak up to her best friend who she feels super comfortable with. Right? So doing that exposure therapy, calming down her body doing parasympathetic, lifting that way, at some point, then, you know that feedback from the friend is what you always says, Hey, I love one. When you tell me what’s going on, it helps me be a better friend to you. Right? Then to parlays that comments, oh, well, that wasn’t a failure, even though we got into a fight, the resolution of that actually created a more close connection and a deeper relationship there. So I won that one. And all of a sudden, she began to really flip, she began to see how much that she could have the license to be a leader that says, I’m going to try this just one bite size, little version of this, I’m going to see what happens. And then I’m going to make a decision. If I don’t like it, no one says that I have to keep doing it. And then that’s really where you give yourself the gift of having, there is no failure, there’s only feedback. And when that feedback is negative, I say cool, I won’t do it again that way. Or I didn’t like how that one turned out. Let me add this and see how that version goes. Right. And that is the art of learning how to put one foot in front of the other. And I would say if any belief creates entrepreneurs, a lot of times this one, entrepreneurs and leaders are willing to try things out. They’re willing to do stupid stuff. They’re willing to look dumb learning something. And we love the concept of doing c plus work, or B minus work. Anybody who was forced to get A’s probably just had a little it choice. I know I did. But C plus work gets you started. And that gives you the theta at let’s say launching a program we always when when we beta have beta launched, it’s not perfect. But as doing the beta stuff is always how we get really smart, lovely, conscientious people that tell us how to improve it, and then we do and then people like it. Right? We don’t expect ourselves to know it all because we’re not everybody on this planet. We do our best to tell what is going to help what people need. And then we give them the opportunity to actually tell us what they think. And we take that feedback and we go and things get better over time. But I can promise you if we were just waiting for things to get better. We would never get that feedback from other people. It would always be incomplete because it’s always just be the Megan and Alec show. And you wouldn’t be sitting here listening to us. There wouldn’t be a business to go do anything with.

 

Megan Blacksmith 

Yeah, okay, perfect. Okay, so let’s see. Let’s have you type in there if you’re willing to do C plus work ni plus I think that I remember learning that or hearing that and I was like oh my gosh c plus work just put it out there and then learn from the feedback that was not you know, I was an all a all a kind of kid on my test. So this was like a huge realization that the action you’re taking actually creates the clarity or to become a good coach by taking eight more certifications. You become a good coach by coaching I know it seems a little tricky because you’re like Ah, how do I coach if I’m not a good coach yet and you’ll you’ll get there really quick. One of our trainers said to us just like you think you learn a lot being being in a training wait until you host a training like we break through even more being the lead so as the coach, you are essentially helping someone and they’re helping you because they’re gonna mirror coach or whatever whatever version of leader that is for you, whether it’s your children, whether it’s at work, it doesn’t matter, but you will get that mirrored back to you anything that’s there. That needs to be worked through. Awesome. Everybody’s saying it, B plus C plus, Katie, Katie, I’ve been not enjoying getting a Midas consistently in my test. And now I can look at it with new eyes. Awesome, Katie. And you’re, you’re gonna be coming to join us in person. I said, Well, we can we can break through that test stuff.

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

Exactly. Love it. For you. Alright,

 

Megan Blacksmith 

let’s move on to number three.

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

Number three, okay, this one’s gonna be relatively short, because it’s what people talk about. Essentially, this is where we interplay between taking care of our mindset and our emotion and the energy that we bring to it and the physical body, right. Because often, what people are actually doing is Hopscotch in between doing a lot for their physical body and trying to put out the fires and then flipping to ignoring it. And just hoping things go well, and then having some symptoms come up, and then going back to freaking out about it, right? What this looks like is integrating the care for yourself mentally, emotionally and physically throughout the, throughout your existence, right. And that means that we recognize that each thought we have like, if I don’t post, then I’m not a good business owner. That thought just released brain chemistry. And that then changes your the actual soup of neurotransmitters that’s floating around your body. That is why you can think a disempowering thought like Oh, Instagram doesn’t show my stuff anyways, feel bad about that, and you’re motivated, it’s kind of like the air gets let out of the tires, you’re just sort of like, what’s the point, so the energy is low. And so that’s the kind of thing that we can watch our thoughts, and therefore our emotions and support those and we can also just go to supporting our brain chemistry. So that is why we love things like Lion’s Mane, right? And Lion’s Mane, and organ meats, those kind of nutrients like liver, heart, I know people don’t, those aren’t, you know, those beef liver pills are probably the best bet for, for a lot of people’s tastes preferences, though, if you are like me enjoy liver, I love getting the nutrient density, the mitochondrial fuel for that. But essentially, the more building blocks you have in terms of nutrient density, the more that your body has to work with stress and disempowering thoughts will shut down are mitochondria. So the power plants of each cell that keeps things moving and keep things flowing, those will get, those will get shut down. Nutrient density, and variety is the answer to them. So it’s essentially just living in that gray countercurrent, where you have some things that are stressful, and then you think thoughts that are empowering and your brain chemistry goes the other way. And then maybe you you know, have a stressful couple of weeks and you meet that with nutrient density and lion’s mane and getting into parasympathetic and all of a sudden, that stressful season alive, doesn’t register as stressful to you. It’s busy, but busy and stressful are two independent factors. You can have a busy fun, or you can have stressful nothing, right? The two independent thing and so this when we equip ourselves to support the physical body, then then we do that more easily. But really, we think that most people are doing a lot for the physical body and leaving their mental and emotional and spiritual bodies on it less attended to. Though these days we also see where people are doing all mindset work. And not attending to the physical body, the emotions and the the spiritual body. So wherever it is recognize that it has to be cohesive across the board. But long story short, the physical vessel that you’re in, you’re never gonna get away with abandoning it. Okay.

 

Megan Blacksmith 

We’re gonna can’t hear you. Oh, sorry. Hey, there I am. I was muted. I’d say I’d love to see zero to 10 where everybody is the physical body A zero being not supporting at all and 10 being like that, I’m really good there.

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

Okay, so I’m going to share my screen here and show show an old Dutch of mine. Basically, this is what it this is the kind of thing that it can look like my brain, the way that my, the way that I was talking to myself and creating and interacting with my body. What happened was that my brain chemistry, this whole this is the hormones estrogen, progesterone, testosterone, DHEA. And some cortisol. This is my cortisol throughout the day. So you can see I peel myself out of bed, but then have the afternoon crash. And then I get a little bit of second wind because I was working at night. So then what was happening, I was in total estrogen dominance, because my brain didn’t feel that it was safe to ovulate, so I wasn’t going to make any progesterone really ever until that was going to stop. And so I was living with high estrogen, which unopposed high estrogen can cause everything from like clotting and heavy bleeding, but also a lot of mood stuff. So how motivated are you when you’re in PMS, and I would get really bad just sort of like PMDD, where my mood would get hit really hard because of this. And so not only that, was I physically taken out for part of the month, but emotionally I was really taken out would be like, why am I even doing this? Nothing matters. Right? And so there are very real ramifications to it, right? And what doesn’t help is being like, oh my god, I just need to do all my food perfect, and get all my supplements perfect and go to sleep perfect and have no stress, because that’s what’s gonna work. That’s not realistic in life. Right? So if you think that you’re like, if you’re gonna flip to the other side, oh, no, I abandoned my physical body. Now I’m going to really focus in on it. That’s not the answer. That’s not what we’re saying. Right? That is why we are describing something very simple, parasympathetic, nutrient density. Right? Not all that complicated. And it doesn’t have to be those kind of how you know, something’s a foundational truth. And so, wherever you’re at whether you said, Yes, I could stand to pay attention to my body more, or you’re like, I’m paying a little too much attention. And this was turned into hyper vigilance. And the energy behind it, I know is a little ramped up. Then at that point, same approach, lots of parasympathetic, lots of calming yourself down, lots of support. And then how do you feel yourself up? To focus on those things just start. And also keep in mind about things like brain chemistry, you can test all of this, you could have insight or health transformation in salary program, we actually have an option to test neuro chemistry and see how that all plays out. So whether you do like that or not, this needs to be an important part of taking care of yourself so that you can be the kind of leader you want to be. Stop to share. Anything else about that one? thing? No, that’s fabulous. Perfect. Okay. And then number four lies that you tell yourself is, I can do this on myself. So right, we have a little bit of a people fall into different categories. And it’s often it’s always a product of their wiring, because either your mental Gremlins are telling you that you can’t do it. And you did go to ask somebody and have them tell you what to do. Or you’re like, I can do it on myself. I don’t need it. I don’t need anybody. And I just need to figure it out alone. Yeah. So this this other one is Megan, and I believe so strongly in this is that quarterly and every single year, we invest in ourselves, and we get more guidance and more coaching and more leadership exposure. So that one is a non negotiable for us. Why is that? Well, the Yeah, Megan. The why is that? Well, one is that when we align with people who are further on the same path that we want to go at, and that’s an important part is that we then get to have them give us the Cliff Notes and actually teach us exactly what they did and what works. Now, that doesn’t mean that we’ll ever execute exactly because as leaders we may need To integrate it into what else we have going on. But what it looks like is saying, I’m not going to relearn how to make the recipe, I’m going to watch how someone else does it and then take the best of what they showed me and weave it into what I got. And when you expose yourself to more and more environments, where the people are more and more expansive and have evolved, and forward thinking, then you get to move faster, right? Those are all the amazing mirrors that you intentionally put around yourself. So part of our success, and part of the reason that people routinely ask us, oh, how do you guys go so fast, is that we place ourselves in environments where we really are kind of the way that people say is like the dumbest people in the room. Right? We are willing to invest before we even have evidence. Before we even can comfortably pay for stuff, we say that’s where we’re going and we’re going to make the investment and all that money is going to just have to appear. And it always does. Because it’s never the I’m going to get it all perfect, it’s going to be cozy, and then I will do it. That’s not how life works. And you know that or you would have been living what you want already. But from this case, it’s when I rub elbows, and I learned to embody the kind of person that I say I want to be, then I hardwire it faster, and it pops out into my physical world, and I get to actually enjoy it. Yeah, one of the worst things that we have done in our journey is being a little bit stubborn about investing in the next thing, because it’s so easy sometimes to say, well, you know, from a financial this is if I look just look at the money on paper. This is what the responsible choices. But as leaders, leaders don’t make the most responsible choices all the time. Why? Because big leaps of evolution are not always the responsible thing. They’re the courageous thing. They’re the new thing. They’re the right thing. Not always the most responsible, like you think of that people spreading out over the planet who’s who thought to put themselves in a floating tree and and go into waves? Like, what do we say those responsible no Ray, or fire whoever created fire? Probably not the most responsible. But that’s not what the goal is, is it? The goal is evolution. So sometimes there’s times where we take responsibility. And sometimes where we have to say the the responsibility is not the goal. So from that standpoint, we have to say what’s, what are we actually creating? And what is that going to require? And if I have fear about that, well, then I need to support myself moving through that fear. But that’s a very different thing to say, I’m gonna let the fear deter me and push me away. Because every time and I mean, literally every time not once, have we ever invested in something and not in like, wow, that is exactly the lead that we needed. It always pans out in the money always follows every time we have never not paid for something. So we can promise you that when you act like the person that you want to be habitually, and put yourself in environments where people can help you and you know, they’re actually living what you want. Go work with them. Go put yourself into that environment, go see how they do things, go learn how they think. Because when you do that, then you’ll get to be that you’ll embody it. And the world will look at, we can promise you that that’s how that’s how your brain sees it. Right? Good old, reticular activating system.

 

Megan Blacksmith 

I think one of the most powerful things we’ve learned from our mentors and coaches is that people who are successful, get something successful, they get something useful out of everything they do. And I remember hearing that as a reframe being like, Oh, interesting, right? So when you’re in your stuff, and you just don’t want to see that there’s any good you buy something and you’re like, Oh, I already knew that. Right? Like this isn’t new. I remember being so irritated buying something from Chris kresser Back in the day because he used to have all the nerdy stuff on the podcast, and when they bought the actual course it was like, it was like move daily drink water. It was super basic, right? And it was so good. Like if I had actually been doing those four things. I would have felt great, but I was like, I don’t I don’t want to I didn’t want that. I wanted fun. dopamine hitting information, right? I just wanted stuff that would light me up. I didn’t want to actually do this stuff. And overtime, so I could say, Oh, that wasn’t, that wasn’t worth it wasn’t worth if I’d actually done the things of course, it was more than worth it. Or, or the other example, we have James Wedmore, as one of our mentors, and he, you know, has an amazing course that we’ve done. And he’s had people come into it, who’ve already making million million dollars a year and they’re like, I got 2 million out of that, like just a few of the things in there I implemented in like we’ve doubled. And then so he’s got that, and of the extreme. And then he said, I also had somebody come in, and they asked for a refund because they didn’t like the way the PDFs were formatted. Yeah. So do you see the pattern, right? The person who is already having success takes the thing that they want or need and goes with it. The person who’s already in wants to be stuck in their stuff or not doing that well was just like, all they saw was, this isn’t this isn’t clear. Right? So yeah, they didn’t get something out of it. So I thought that was just such a good way of looking at it.

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

And one of the you know that what we’re talking about as you can’t see your own label from inside the bottle, and that’s why it’s, how are you going to know that it’s time to put yourself into environments where people can, can help bring out the leader in you, right? Well, for one, if you find yourself saying or thinking I feel stuck, I feel lost, I feel confused. If you are using any of those words, it’s time to have a new strategy. And you don’t have to do it this way. But just from doing this, for decades, here, we’re going to give you a clue. It’s who you’re around, right? Put yourself in different environments. Because if you pick a smaller strategy, you know, like, I’m just gonna change where I sit in my head. It’s not gonna cut it. So go ahead and you know, make that leap. Because your can, your body and your emotional body is pointing you that way for a reason. It’s saying what you got going on is not cutting it. It’s not in alignment. And that’s why you feel that way. So go ahead and make that change, right. And that’s so important because often, we can’t see things and so we need to know what to look for within ourselves. I know that I can’t see my own label from inside, but I do know what my mental Gremlin sound like when it’s time to go get help. So that’s what we’re telling you right here. Right?

 

Megan Blacksmith 

So let’s see in the chat. I’d love to hear we’d love to hear which one of these things was your biggest aha from today? And what are you committed to doing? What can we hold you accountable for doing what are you going to share with us once you’ve done in the group do a video share a win stepping into the clouds knowing the ground will appear when needed awesome Stella let’s hear biggest takeaway from today and what you all are committed and those of you who are coming to the VIP session I would love for you to be thinking and the next let’s see 46 minutes I would love you to be thinking about what belief is stopping you from actually taking that action awesome Katie leaders take risks c plus work whatever belief it is, it’s coming up it’s going to stop you from actually doing that thing.

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

Let’s go ahead and drop that. Awesome.

 

Megan Blacksmith 

Thank you. Thank you all for being here. Thank you for all your shares biggest aha was actually believe in failure even though I told myself I don’t I realized I do. Awesome Jennifer. b minus c plus work amazing. I can be a plus at producing c plus work love that currently. Love it. I showed up late but I’m here. So this is me starting to take action. Awesome. Stella, we have a little time to watch the replay before I know you’re in our next one. Perfect. Not waiting for things to be perfect. Awesome.

 

Dr. Alex Golden 

Love it. Love it. Love it. Awesome. Beautiful. All right.

 

Megan Blacksmith 

All righty. Thank you all for being here. We will see you Thursday. I’ll see some of you in a little bit. Coming to the VIP. You can still join if you haven’t. We also have something tonight at seven storytelling workshop. If you have not joined I did also put that link in the Facebook group. That’s just our regular monthly coach’s meet up. It applies to all of you though. So Matt is welcome. And we’ll see you on Thursday. Same time, same place 1pm. Eastern on Facebook. Doing more equals more success. Alright, see you guys later.