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Part 10: The Human Design Understanding that Saved My Relationship - Zesty Ginger
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In today’s solo episode, Megan shares more about another event she attended as she’s navigating this journey of going from a person who felt totally betrayed, lost, embarrassed, ashamed, guilty, all these different things, into finding what was deeper under what she had experienced and searching for answers.

Listen to this podcast as Megan talks about healing and opening up more about her experiences so that we can understand that we’re all a lot more alike than we think in this life journey together.

Ready to learn more?? Let’s do this!

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Megan Blacksmith

Hey there, Megan here. Welcome back to the podcast. Have you been enjoying this series? I was just reading some messages this morning. Some messages from you all that I just want to tell you, anytime I get a DM, an email, a text, whatever it is, with some feedback about this series, it means a lot to me. It took quite a bit for me to get this out, to get this out of my brain to get this into words, to share it in a way that I hope, I hope, hope, hope, is really helping you. I’ve had some people saying, oh my gosh, this is triggering every part of me because I feel it’s me. Somebody else said that the part that I shared in part three of my story about being able to forgive everyone else, but not myself, totally relating to that, working to that, working on that. And I hope that these are really helping stir up what is the next thing to process because I believe as we go through life, and we interact with the world, things come up for a reason. It’s there, if we can go towards it. Instead of turn away, we can use our tools, you have tools. And if you don’t have tools, we are here for you. We are the women of tools. Dr. Alex and I between us, we love our tools, we have them, we share them. So if you’re a person who wants to join a group, you can join Health Transformation accelerator will give all the tools in there over 12 weeks. If you want to be a coach, or you already are a practitioner, we’ll give you the tools, the tools that you can use with a client with yourself in a seven day practitioner training. So lots of options. If you feel you don’t have tools, please reach out to us because there’s so so so many. And for all of you who are saying I am a gifted storyteller. Thank you, that is a part of my human design. Which is what we’re going to be talking about today. So whether you’ve gotten into human design or not does not matter. So please listen along. Even if you’re like, “Ah, I’m not into that human design thing. People talk about it, I don’t like it.” Or even if you’re into it, I feel there’s still two big takeaways from this in the way my husband and I have interacted and used human design to help our relationship. So today is all about how the human design understanding my human design and my husband’s has really saved our marriage and our relationship, in my opinion, to the point now that we even use and you can get a free chart on right now, jovianarchive.com. It’s easy you go there, you put in your birth, date, time, and all that where you’re born. And you can get this chart printed out. So we use human design. Now, even in our Health Transformation accelerator group that 12 week group is talking about that will start September 21st. This is an online, you bond together, you create a very specific goal. It could be health, it could be business, it could be life, I’ve used the same process to manifest a lake house as I have to get rid of and have my body feel amazing and no longer have detox symptoms from mold. Same process. So what we see in the world of health, well, what we see everywhere in the world, and I’m sure you have to is often advice is given that once, that worked for one person, you know, for example, in business, the advice may be to set a day. One day to create content and do it all in one day or to cold call as many people as possible. And while that can work really well for a generator, that’s one type of human design, not so much for a projector. So I’m a manifesting generator, Dr. Alex is a projector we have very different types. Therefore, we are going to work very differently. My husband is also a projector. So knowing how I interact with a different design has been so so helpful. And we found we’ve actually added in, you know, four different or I don’t remember if it’s for or not, we added modules with an expert inside of Health Transformation accelerator all about human design, because we found that the action part of our seven steps, the habit change part would change how we address that, how we’d make the decisions based on what your design was. So if you come into something and they’re like, this is what works for people, because often you’re coming into a program with a generator. Generators are the ones who are moving the energy and doing the things, not the projectors or not. They are also is just if they’re following their design, they’re doing it a little different way. And majority of people are generators. There’s many, there’s more of us. So then you come in, you’re a different design, you’re like, “Well, why doesn’t this work for me?” So my biggest takeaway with human design and in relationships was not fighting who I am. Most of the time, I already know this thing about myself. And then reading it was a way of securing Oh, that’s not a character flaw. That’s not like oh, I wish I was a different way.

That is how I am that is how I work best. How about you orchestrating my life to work around that so that I can work with how I work best versus saying yeah, but I’d really rather be the person who’s just totally motivated internally versus externally that kind of thing. So the ladies on our health transformation accelerator really rave about the trainings, we work in the process with the human design, because it just brings in a new light, especially when you’re talking about health because this is often not considered and health. So make sure if you’re interested in that, make sure to jump on our waitlist for the group in the fall. Our group is very popular. So first, come first serve for the spots, and you can go to zestyginger.com/transform. We will also have bonuses and raffles for people who take action first. So jump on that list, so you get notified right away. Okay. Also, I did previously, do an interview with Barbara, who is the woman that we currently are using for our human design. And you can go back earlier in the episodes and check out my interview all about the details. If you’re kind of like what is this, the basics with Barbara.

So this one, today we’ll talk a little bit more about how you can actually use human design for couples and or teams. You can go to someone. I went to Barbara and she can run your charts together. So Dr. Alex and I have done this as a company. So you see not only how you are and your designers, but how yours interacts with somebody else, how we fulfill things for each other, and why we work together in a very positive way. And same thing with my husband. So when Nate and I went and had a reading, there was a ton of eye opening information. So whether you know your chart or not, you don’t need to know and you may this may resonate with you, “Oh, this is me.” or “Oh, I see clearly my husband has a very different or my partner, or my partners are very different types.” So we have what she said is rare, a very tight relationship, meaning we have the same profile. So in human design, you’ll see there’s something like your profile, ours is both six, two. So because of that we can totally relate to each other, even though we’re different types. Even though I’m a manifesting generator, and he is a projector. What will happen here is that we go through three different phases in life. And we start by all the chaos, all the things up to 30. And I fully did that, thank you very much. And then from 30 to 50, we go up on the roof and we’re a little bit more aloof, looking down, and then 50 and on we can become the mentor, she said, get ready to be on a stage start preparing now. And that is one of the reasons why I did to speak an 18 day speaker training because I do believe that storytelling is my gift. And being on a stage is a place where I can reach many, many women and help lots of people. So going through this process, I know that’s coming and my husband being five years older than me, you know, that’s coming for him in five years, and he’s fully stepping into this, he is going to be helping veterans and just help bring people, really men who have had trauma, who aren’t, don’t really have a strong circle or a place to work on this to offer groups and or retreats and or private coaching to get through that in a safe space, in a place where you know is coming out of the military. So you still have that masculine energy and you still have a place that people feel accepted and okay and not pushed into this. Talk about your feelings and at the same time talking about your feelings, if that, if that makes sense. So we also have all of our centers defined together. So what she said is new together, no one can really get in when we’re with each other, we have a really deep connection. So that’s one thing you can see with your human design is what centers that you have defined. And then you can put them on the chart with the the person you’re with and see how that goes. Again, we’re also both role models, and we need to walk our talk. Because of that we both can be perfectionist and can expect it from ourselves. We can expect it from ourselves, right? So we can be hard on ourselves. That’s fine, although we’re working on that. And what we what happens though, is we will expect the same thing from our partner. So I will expect perfectionism from him because I have that in me he has that in him and same with other way around. So that was a huge understanding and us holding holding ourselves to that really watching what we hold the other person to another thing she said is that our marriage is founded on trust, needing trust. That’s from my design, needing to listen to each other express thoughts give each other lots of space and alone time. Now the trust part of course, really piqued my interest. Because if you’ve been listening to these this series, especially all the way back to Episode 1,2,3, you know that I did lose trust and did for a while. So once I lost trust and stayed in the relationship, we were not actually able to live out our designs very well and there this constant little feeling behind me saying, I can’t fully trust and I therefore can’t fully live in my design and live out my uniqueness and live the intentions that I meant to. So what I’ve noticed, working with many, many women, and, you know, if you’re not ready to hear this, then you know you won’t, so don’t worry about it. The thing is, is that sometimes people come with health things, and I came with a health problem. And underneath that is a much larger, broader life shift. So maybe a relationship that’s constantly pulling on you, that’s constantly draining you, maybe a boss or a work situation, that is taking you down every day, putting you in fight or flight every day. And sometimes we feel there’s nothing we can do about that at the moment. And I also want you to know, there’s always options, there’s always things we can do and just know, this can shift and pay attention to it. Because no amount of vitamins, foods, supplements, exercise movement, meditation, can undo when we are living in a place that is just not, doesn’t feel safe for our body. And if if your design is based on trust, and you don’t have trust day to take day to day, that will break down in your health. Got it?Okay, so I want to share with you, the top three categories in human design that have just really, really helped with my relationship. So those are just a little bit details about how my husband and I may interact together and these are a little bit more broader, and things that you can think about in how you relate with any persons doesn’t have to be a partner. This is anyone. So the first one was all about our energy. And this is based on your type. So I’m a manifesting generator, I have my own energy centers, I make my own energy. And my husband is a projector so my energy is amplified by his. Projectors amplify yours. So I’ve often said and I did say this earlier in the series that I don’t have a problem, like I don’t have any problems. I just wish everybody else around me would be happy and then I’d be good, right?

So when I blame my husband, for my down energy, I really have to look at my own. I have the craziest thing happened when I first realized this whole energetic exchange. So I would say “I don’t know about this. I don’t think it’s always my energy, because there’s plenty of days where he just seems grumpy.” Right? Okay, cool. And there are so I’m not fighting that. Although, one day, we got up, had a little, we both got up separately, he went for a run. And I went for a walk. And we ended up running into each other on the boardwalk. Now I had the whole time I had woken up in a mood. And I was like ruminating, ruminating and ruminating and I had all these thoughts and I was like attempting to bring them back down and learn from them and do all my tools and I was still in it. And so when I ran into him, we just had a quick exchange. I was like, “Hey, you gotta get back soon, you know, there will be no one with if you gotta be back in 10 minutes for the kids”,right? We’re having this whole interaction. And I didn’t say anything mean, per se, although my energy was I, I was ruminating on something else. And I’m sure my energy didn’t come across in such a great way. So we had this five minute, maybe 30 second interaction on the boardwalk. He went back home, and then I continued my walk. And then when I got back from the walk, I saw his body language, I saw his face and his tone and I could tell he was in the state. You know, he was really matching my state, although in my head. I’m like, “This has nothing to do with me. I just walked in here.” And later on when we were talking about it. And I was explaining this. He’s like, “Oh, wow, he said it’s so interesting. You say that because when he said I actually woke up in an amazing mood. And then when we had that short interaction on the boardwalk, I felt like some kind of energy took me over and I he said I had to walk home from there. I was in my stuff. I was just like, what just happened?” And he wasn’t blaming me. So if you’re listening, you’re like, oh, it’s not your fault. He wasn’t blaming me, it was just there was a transfer of energy. He had amplified mine, it had come right back at me. And he had felt it too. And then by the time he got back, I’m thinking No, you’re just in a bad mood. All I did was get up and go for a walk. Come to find out that he actually had felt that shift come from me. So again, really important in general not to be blaming ourselves along this health journey and this is just a way of gathering data. Because if I know this is how it works for the two of us, I will really think about shielding myself, protecting myself, creating barriers when I’m in that state. So I am not have like getting a place for him to to amplify it and then I can take on what do I need to do internally, instead of turning to focus on you’re grumpy, you need to fix it. Because when I do often he would fix it. And then I would still have my own stuff. So it’s easy to pass the buck. And often, it came from me. So that was a huge understanding about our energy and human design. So the next was decisions. And this is a big thing we go into in Health Transformation accelerators, how you make a decision based on your human design. There’s tons so you can go way, way down the rabbit hole in human design. If you just understood your type, and how you make decisions as your type, I think that alone can be super, super helpful. So check that out at a basis. So again, in our example, I am on the wave is what it’s called, I am an emotional manifesting generator. So I ride out a wave and I mean, when I’m going to make decisions that what I do best is I will have a gut feeling I will have kind of like a “Aha, is this good for me?” And then I will need to take time to ride out my wave. And when you look at my chart, I actually have the what’s called the tribal wave where it looks like it goes up and it peaks and then it drops off and then it goes up and it peaks and drops off. It’s a real big up and down. It’s a ratchet, or some of the other ones are like smooth, some of them are straight. Mine is very up and down. And when I saw this wave, I was like, “Yes, that is exactly me, that is exactly how I feel.” I will get in frustration is what is what I have in my chart, which is always the word I go to, when I am not acting out my design, when I’m not living as my design frustration is what will happen. So I will get a little bit more frustrated, a little bit more frustrated, a little more frustrated, and then it will hit the top of that wave and it will break and it will crash. And then I’ll be totally good.

And you don’t know if this is an hour, you don’t know if this is a day and you don’t know if this is a week or a month, okay? So sometimes making decisions can be a little bit tricky because when we’re making a decision together, Nate with the projector he just has it has a feeling in the moment. It’s splenic, it’s the feeling in the moment. And you get a yes or no and that’s the end of it. And if you miss it, it’s done. I mean, you can go back into that moment the what did I feel but you get the message. Although you’re always checking in like a day later, you’re like, is it good for me now it could change. Although, you do get the feeling for you in the moment. So we’ve had situations where we don’t have time to ride out the wave, we had a decision we need to make about little Paige’s tooth being pulled. And I was like, “All right, well, we don’t have time to write out my wave. I’m all in my stuff about this. What does your gut say?” And he was able to say like, “Yes. Let’s do it.” And we did it. And it was great. And that, without knowing our design, I would never have kind of passed that off to him, I would never have felt okay with that. It just gave us this like, Okay, this is how we are I have always been like this, I really need time to make decisions. I almost always go back to my first gut instinct and I need to ride that out. Or else usually I if I get into a decision without making that usually what their twin, there’s some regret. And I’m like, oh gosh, now I’m stuck is the word in this thing. So if you’re on the wave, Whoo, that’s right, this and now it’s easy for me to say to him, “Hey, I’m in the wave, I’m riding the wave.” And for me, it’s not riding the wave. That’s the problem. It’s fighting that I have a wave when I let go, and I’m like, “Yeah, hey, just want to let you know I’m in the wave. ” And that will mean probably not the best time to discuss things because you’re gonna get a wavy answer, you’re gonna get a in the middle of something answer. And when we have allowed ourselves to use that, and slow down with the decision making process, back off, just wait, just emotional acceptance, because suppressing the wave, it’s just, it will make you miserable. Because we’re designed, people on the emotional wave to feel the full spectrum of our emotions. To feel really deeply passionate, and really deep desire and at the same time, so there’s ups and downs, and that can look rather moody. And that’s okay. It’s only not okay, when we’re fighting it or when the person around us expects us not to do that. And if you weren’t that type, you’re probably looking around like “What the heck is going on? Because I don’t ride that.” So understanding. I mean, understanding, humans love to understand themselves. I like to make meaning out of things. I love to understand me I love to understand how I’m interacting in partnership. Even it honestly if I’m like making something up of what it means if it makes me feel better about how we interact ,cool. Because now I feel we have a plan. So use as always, with this stuff, use it how you’d like. The third one, this is my favorite. The third one was all about the G center. So I have an open G center. Doesn’t really matter, you just listen along, you’ll see if you feel this is you or not and with this, reading my human design, you will need constant external validation is what the idea is here. And that is okay. Eventually, it doesn’t mean that you need it forever. Eventually, you can take the external validation, and you can take it and embody it and now you can provide it for yourself. It just starting with an open G center, you may need more of that to begin with. And my husband has a defined G center. So he just knows his worth based on human design. That does not mean that programming couldn’t come in here on for either of us and do the opposite. So he could grow up in a place where he was told he’s not worthy, and he won’t know his worth, it will just be easier for him to rediscover that based on his human design. And for me, I could grow up in an amazing place and still not really know my worth based on my human design. So before I understood this, I felt irritated with myself that I needed and wanted, will say not want it not needed, but I wanted external things to be said to me. I wanted to be told I’m amazing. And I’m beautiful, and I’m worthy. And after our session or a couple session with Barbara, and she said to me, “Hey, just do this every day, just like it can be a checklist at school, just tell her you’re amazing, you’re loved, you’re worthy, you’re beautiful. You’re a genius.” And we started doing this.

And you would think I thought, “Hey, this isn’t gonna work.” I’m doing air quotes, “This isn’t going to help us if I know he’s just doing it because Barbara said so.” And the amazing thing about it is that my brain and my neurology did not differentiate at all whether he was telling me because it was on his checklist, or whether he was telling me from his heart, I do believe it was both. It worked. He still does it. Every time he does it, I still grin. I know what he’s doing. And honestly, it actually makes me even happier that he’s willing to do it as a checklist because he is willing to say, this is what you need, this is your design. There’s an effort there, I feel seen. And I do believe he believes those things anyway, even though maybe they’re not just naturally popping up that he just really wants to tell me I’m so amazing and beautiful today. Right? So what about you? Did any of this resonate with you? Do you know your human design? So like I said, you can go get a free chart at jovianarchive.com, it does take a little bit more to understand all the amazingness that you can learn in the chart. So we’re gonna be doing that in our one on one session, or sessions with Barbara where she comes into our training, sorry, excuse me, that’s not one on one in our training. She offers one on one session, so you can go look her up, it’s a great thing to do. Or she comes into our training as the group or, you know, we’re happy to have you in the next Health Transformation accelerator, September 21st. If you want to learn how we use human design and how we approach any health objective based on your type. So if you’ve experienced doing the exact same protocol, or diet or program as someone else, the one that all the other people say is working in you’re left feeling different. We want you to know that you’re not alone in that we are all different. And if that happens to be, if you happen to be one of the types that falls into the majority, then you’ll probably notice that most of those things work for you, like me. If you fall into one of the more rare types, you may notice that the common suggestions you hear over and over and over from coaches or programs just doesn’t seem to fit and maybe your intuition is telling you it’s not for you. And this is something Dr. Alex had to learn and is still learning. Our goal is to understand you and your biochemistry and your decisions, making this strategy in your intuition so that you never have to blindly follow a plan again. We have changed and drastically do things very different in our business and that’s what we’re teaching coaches to do because you don’t have to do it the way people say you have to do it. There are lots and lots of ways. We believe in always having coaches or guides. We believe that we are the only one who knows what’s right and next for us and yet there are people ahead of us there are people who can share a system with us, who can take information and apply it for us. So we are always following our intuition and how to find the next thing and then we’re taking what works for us. Cool? Cool. So if you are a coach, we are going to have human design expert in one of our upcoming coaches connects meetings. We do those mostly monthly, not always in the summer. So make sure to jump on the practitioner list, zestyginger.com/practitioner and I will put that in the show notes. All righty, I hope you are enjoying this series so much and I will see you in the next episode where I share another deep transformation. This one involves some plant medicine, involves some psychedelics, if you will, and will give you lots of caveats of who should not consider this in the next episode. And in the meantime, thank you for being here. Please share this with anyone who you think may benefit. Thank you for all the messages keep those coming. If you liked this podcast, please leave us a review. It really helps us any interaction, interaction and share has helped us so so much that we can keep doing the work we love and getting to all the women out there who need what we have to share. Have a great day.