Continuing on our seven part personality or pattern series, Dr. Alex talks more about self identifying which personality types or patterns we may be falling into that is keeping us stuck in our health and life journey.
Continue listening to this podcast series as Dr. Alex leads us up to the five day challenge which will be the action steps on how to begin to resolve and help us move forward in our health and life journey
Ready to learn more?? Let’s do this!
Dr. Alex Golden
Hello, Hello, Dr. Alex here with you, we are going through our seven part personality or pattern series that is leading up to our effortless habit change challenge. Okay, so we this was part three already, if you haven’t go back and listen to parts one and two, especially part one where I tell you why we’re talking about all of this in the first place. And how this fits. The point of this series is to have you all, listen and self identify which personality types or patterns you may be falling into that is keeping you stuck in your health and in your life journey. Right. Depending on where you personally are at this may be more applicable for health. Or you may notice that you’re listening along and thinking, you know, some of these really have, I’ve gotten better from that perspective and health, not really experiencing that anymore. But when I think about my business, or when I think about my relationships, or when I think about my parenting experience, or my sense of belonging in a community, this is playing a role. So each of these short podcasts is just to talk about what this kind of personality pattern type is. And then really the series coming up the five day challenge is going to be the action steps is going to be the actual how do you begin to resolve this now the coolest thing about this five day challenge is that we really made it effortless because we hear you everybody’s stressed, tired. Burnout feels exhausted, frustrated, right? And that’s really what we’re talking about this and the whole point of the challenge is that we’ve changed how we usually do it so that it is less effort, and more listening, and transformation through some of the subconscious reprogramming patterns that Megan I use, and when we work with people. So in listening to this lead up,
this is where you really begin to see, okay, what patterns am I dealing with, because these are the things that require resources in your toolkit. The reason that they’re a problem is because you don’t have those things to navigate them. And that’s why for some of these, you are really going to relate, you’re gonna be like, Yes, Alex, this is what my experience is day to day, and there may be multiple, okay, to participate in the challenge coming up after this, you will be eligible to win $500. And because we made it effortless, this is going to be the easiest $500 you could ever win, right? All you have to do is go sign up SSD ginger.com/habit And you get the workbook, you listen, you fill it out, you turn it in by Sunday, and you’re good to go. You’re in the running. So really, you know, make sure you get signed up, especially because as you listen, these episodes are not where I’m going to be telling you what to do about it, these episodes are so that you self identify as that. And then when you go to the five day challenge, you are listening appropriately, and really know what the deal is for you. And you can get the most out of it that you can. Alright, so part three, this personality type this pattern is the why am I like this. And I’m saying personality in terms of this is how it expresses itself. But this is not who we are. These are coping strategies. And these are compensatory mechanisms that we have created. Because in some ways these things worked for us in the past. And now their time has come where they’re less and less useful. And now we begin to see the problems coming out from this pattern. But it’s important to recognize that these were established not as part of the personality of who you are, but rather than a condition, personality response that fits us into patterns. So just want to say that up front, just so we are all not, we’re not saying this is who I am capital, right? This is this is the kind of thing that I noticed within myself. And that is going to point me in the direction of the resources I need. So that these things are not eating away at me and keeping me from my goals. Right. So Part three is the why am I like this, and boy have I been here in their life because this is the pattern of essentially getting frustrated with things not going the way that we want. And we begin to assign more and more shame and self blame to this situation. This is especially common in kind of modern spirituality circles, because there’s a lot of talk about creating your own reality. And if you don’t like it, then there’s something going on right and the way sometimes Is that the language is used around it implies that there’s no choices being made. And of course that is true. But we have to be very, very careful. Because the hallmark of why am I like this is essentially the propensity to take new data and more information. And rather than say, Hmm, where I am is fine, but this information is guiding me towards where I’m going. But rather than say, oh, no, this new information means I’ve been doing it wrong.
Here, the difference in that there is a lot more implied of just because I’m getting this information now means that I should have gotten it earlier, or I could have gotten it earlier. And I messed up somewhere along the way. And now I have to wonder what it is, right. And that happens a lot, because people start to deviate from, then thank goodness from the diets, the supplements, the labs, right? At some point, when you’re on your journey. And same with business, you stopped buying all the courses you started doing, because you realize that there’s a physical aspect of this. And then there’s more to the story. And that’s where we talk about the four pillars, body, mind, heart and soul. And so at some point, we begin to go to things like beliefs. And so when someone takes that, and flips it around against themselves, and essentially is creating self sabotage, in that way, is that many people then in the that fall into this category, the way my life is, is that they see other people as the authority figures. Therefore, when information comes in, it always supersedes in value and importance, then their own internal cues. And because of that, each bit of information, even though many people in this category are seeking out, they’re listening to podcasts, or reading books, the experience that they have is very threatened and triggered, because you’ll see a post, or you’ll read a chapter of a book, or you listen to a podcast, you know, oh, my gosh, it’s those glyphosate. It’s the inflammation. It’s this, it’s that it’s that, and really, you start being like, this is where I’m going wrong. This is where I’m going wrong, this where I’m going wrong, this is where I’m going wrong, and you get a checklist. And then the outflow is, is it’s a checklist life experience. It’s do this, do this, do this, do this, because so and so told me that this was my problem. And then when we inevitably can’t stick to someone else’s prescription for us, and full, mostly because our body, mind, heart and soul aren’t like the other person, and we need other things for those aspects of ourselves, then this is turned back around. And there’s a couple patterns that people tend to fall into sometimes both though. So listen carefully, and see if this is if you’re relating to this, which one you tend to fall into. Because sometimes in this category, people will go to numbing behaviors, right? It all feels so threatening and wrong. And at some point, you get so tired of feeling bad about yourself, that this is where people flow between trying to stick to a plan. And those of us who are have been conditioned to be good at sticking to the plan. That’s where you fall into the pattern of you go really, really hard at it. Right? Every time you could fall off the wagon, you think no, if I just go harder on this, then I’ll get it right. And I don’t have to ask myself, Why am I always like this, I’m always falling off. Or people start that and go, I’ve already messed this up so many times. This never works out for me. I’m so sick of investing in myself. I’m so sick of looking at this again, and they go straight to numbing behaviors. This is where it’s like, at first there’s FODMAPs and AIP. And then it’s Oh, I’m going off the rails eating whatever I want. Not feeling good about it but not really feeling like there’s even any point to doing that numbing out with bitching and venting numbing out with just mentally checking out burnout type of stuff, right? Why does this even matter? I should i It doesn’t mean even matter if I do this, that kind of self talk is really indicative. And then and then the combination of that is where people flow from one to the other. Where they go in there like if I just get these habits set up. Oh, I fell off. Now I could do the numbing where this progresses as people go is that people start to become very Are you aware of their numbing behaviors, now it stops being a numbing behavior when you bring awareness to it by definition, right. And that is where when people come to me, and they say, I’m doing a lot of great stuff, and I have this, you know, I
watch TV at night, but maybe I should be reading books. This is the kind of thing where when everything in life is flowing, well, those things that just allow us to chill out, scroll on the phone, watch Friends, rewatch the office, those aren’t numbing behaviors anymore. They’re conscious decisions that we’re making that fit into an otherwise functioning and happy lifestyle. And therefore that is just, it’s not numbing, you’re just choosing to watch TV. But numbing, then when the intermediate step is that people start to know that they’re choosing it as a numbing option. But it doesn’t even really feel that good. Because once you start to get that little inkling of awareness, then you really kind of know what you’re doing. But if you’re still in this pattern, that tends to just kick up the guilt and shame even more, because it’s like, oh, no, I’m watching TV now. And now you feel even worse about yourself. And really, the emotional hallmarks of the why in my life, this is anger. Now, anger is notable, because sometimes we are so conditioned to push down the anger, that people don’t even call it anger. Because it’s not in our awareness, frustration, bitterness, can be accurate for some people, but in some instances, what people really mean by angry, they’re saying, Oh, I’m a little frustrated with my health. So you’re not just frustrated with your health, you’re angry about how it’s going. Having the courage and the authenticity to say, and I’m not just a little bitter about this, I’m straight up pissed, is actually a very freeing, unifying thing to do. But in this category, you can really hear why this type of person would be in the pattern of repressing and undermining gaslighting their own emotional state, right? Because if everybody else is the authority, and you’re frustrated, and you think most of it is your fault, then it becomes difficult to access the anger because where’s that anger gonna go? Anger unleashed when it’s pointed at you, is not what choice most people are going to make. Right? Your subconscious mind knows that that is not a safe experience for you to have. And that will continue to help you repress that anger. The whole point of listening to this and saying is this anger is that once you begin to see that that is present and begin to have the resources to hold space for the anger within yourself, right, you are both the person experiencing the anger and being the person to watch yourself experience the anger and know how to support yourself through it. That is when we step into our expanded resourceful self. Right? That is how we actually allow that to come up authentically and guide us. Because here’s the thing with that anger, frustration, and bitterness is always for a reason. And that either helps us treat ourselves differently. And often it requires that when we make other people not the authority figure and not the ultimate determinant of our experience, then sometimes that means we have to set boundaries or change our physical environment, who and what and when they’re in it. Right now, because of this sometimes someone on the path of why am I like this, and they are starting to really have a lot of self awareness around it are beginning to transform. There has there’s a tendency for the why in my life is to overcompensate with boundaries. So one way that you can sometimes recognize this is that you will get angry, frustrated better about something going on. And then the awareness is there that says I don’t like what’s happening. And sometimes there’s an overcompensation of boundaries. So the Why am I like this person will often tolerate to a certain extent some things
and then have a freakout. I’m putting that in quotations because it’s not bad, right? What do I mean by that is it’s not a smooth experience. The freakout is whether you internally just like I can’t do do this anymore, I need to do something drastic to change this, leave the house, get in the car, whatever it is, or get a divorce, right, you kind of blow your lid or you’re actually directing that energy at the person. So it’s not uncommon for someone in this avatar. And in this pattern to know that they don’t speak up that much, but then have a lot of guilt and shame about the times that they do. Because they’re like, Gee, that really splashes up hard. And then I’m not really proud of the identity that I am inviting. And that that doesn’t feel any better than over letting someone else overstep my boundaries. Now I’m hurting them back. I’m not proud of that. And that’s what perpetuates that cycle, then they hesitate speaking up the next time, those first couple exit signs are missed along the way. And then the blow up happens, and oh, my gosh, I’m here again, why am I like this? Right. So now we’ve really covered when we feel this way, the overarching thing that’s happening, and then the thoughts, the emotions and the actions that we take, then keep us perpetuate in the cycle. Like I said, this one is one that I have really related to a lot. It’s it’s really easy when you are someone that strives a lot and has good intentions to end up here. Because the invitation is always there to consider what role you’re playing. And that is so healthy. It’s so courageous, it’s so brave. But we really also have to safeguard ourselves from the mental Gremlins, we start to tell ourselves a story that you’re always a mess up, you’re always doing it wrong. The motivation is not there to find resources. These are the pattern if you’re listening to this, you’re like, oh, my gosh, is what it is, you know what this is, you’ve been stuck in this pattern, it’s time to break out. But what that’s going to require is doing things differently so that you find the resources to address the parts of you that need the help. This isn’t more guilt and shame, you have an awareness, you’re like, oh, no, I do this. If it ends there, we have accomplished nothing. And that’s why you really need to come to the enlisted to the five day. Like I says dying to be as effortless as possible. But that is the time to make intentional changes, by using the resources that we’re going to teach and utilize and do in real time with you right on the spot is gonna be really exciting. And then you can see these patterns shift. And it is so gratifying and empowering. And it builds self trust way more than any affirmation ever could to build the self trust in you and that I see myself for who I am. And I value myself enough to change and transform and to intentionally become the human that I feel the most proud of, I feel the best being that empowers me the most for what I came here to do. All of this stuff turns into something. It’s not just knowledge for knowledge and turns into the next step, and the next step and the next dream and the next manifestation and the next outcome and the next result. And it becomes very, very exciting to see yourself step out of this. And to know that you can help others coming along behind you kids, family members, parents, friends, partners, co workers. We’re all in this together. So it takes one of us changing and becoming the leader in our environment and in our space to help others do the same. This is how we will change the world. It will happen gradually but it happens with each of us making the decision to do this. I will see you in part four. Have a great day.